More
by Emtheunicorn
Summary: Stella is completely shocked by the news that she is pregnant. She doesn't think that she is ready for this next step in her life. How will Michael react to this news? Will he be around for her and the baby? Starts at the end of ep 310. This is the story of what would have happened if Stella had never had a miscarriage, plus there will be some Mella along the way.
1. Chapter 1

So this fic is long overdue. It's about time I wrote some more Mella, plus this storyline has been begging to be written since mid season 3. This fic will be about what would have happened if Stella hadn't had a miscarriage in ep 310. I'll try to get chapter 2 posted soon but those of you who read my other stories will know that my updating schedule is pretty unpredictable. I would love to hear what you all think of this. I know there aren't many Mella fans on this website but every little review is like a hug and they actually do make me write faster.

This chapter turned out very different to how I planned. Firstly, it's nearly double the length that I though it would be and secondly, it was supposed to be completely platonic (I'm sure you will realise what part of the fic it was that I realised that things weren't as platonic as I planned). Anyway, enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rush or any of the characters.

* * *

**Chapter One**

_**She'll call you when she needs you – Kerry Vincent**_

Stella Dagostino sat in her bed with her head in her hands, shocked by the events of the day. After collapsing while chasing an offender, she had been rushed to hospital where she had received the news that she was pregnant. On top of that she had just been informed that she was very lucky not to have miscarried, just in case she needed something else to worry about.

The news had come as a complete shock to her. She didn't think that she was ready to be a mother. Sure, she had made that pact with Michael to have a child when they turned thirty-five, but this seemed completely different. Thirty-five seemed like a far and distant future as opposed to the here and now. She didn't know if she could do this.

She wasn't upset as such about the news that she was carrying Michael's baby. Deep down she knew that they were going to end up together eventually, but there were so many unsaid things between them, so many things that needed to be discussed before they brought a baby into the mix. While she knew that she wasn't ready to raise a child, she also had serious concerns about Michael's parenting skills. It was only a week earlier that he had eaten a combination of pickles, sardines, mustard, ice cream and whatever other strange foods Leon had added as a bet before promptly throwing it up minutes later. After this Michael's biggest concern was that Leon still had to pay him his twenty bucks, according to Michael keeping the food down wasn't part of the bet. She just didn't think that they were ready for a baby.

Stella stood up and walked over to the mirror, lifting up her shirt to examine her stomach. She turned to the side, running her hand over her stomach. While she didn't look any different and her stomach didn't feel any bigger, she felt completely different inside. She felt the panic begin to return as she thought about her future with this child. She didn't want to be a single mum. She knew that she had to tell Michael.

Turning away from the mirror, Stella grabbed her phone and texted Michael before she could chicken out. He deserved to know. Plus, she was going to need all the support she could get. She needed to know if Michael was going to be there for her. She didn't think that she could get through this without him.

Michael glanced at his phone for what would have had to have been close to the hundredth time that night. He knew that Kerry had told him that Stella would call him when she needed him and that she just needed rest but he couldn't shake the felling that she needed him. It was a gut feeling. He had felt as though something was wrong since the morning, even before she had collapsed. He just couldn't stop himself from worrying about her.

Michael looked down as he heard his phone buzz, seeing that he had a new message notification from Stella sitting atop his background which was a photo of the pair of them grinning, arms around each other and not a care in the world. He smiled at the memory as he opened the message and read it.

_Can you come over?_

Michael didn't even have to think about it. If Stella wanted him then he would be there as soon as possible. He couldn't help it. He would do anything for her. He was just picking up his keys when the second message came

_I need you_.

This settled it, not that there had been any doubt before. Murmuring a quick excuse and goodbye to his friends, Michael made his way out of the bar and towards Stella's house.

About fifteen minutes after she had sent the text messages, Stella heard a knock at the door. It had to be Michael. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she stood up and made her way over to the door. Upon opening it she was greeted by the concerned face of her best friend and father of her child.

"Hey, Stel," he said in a soft tone as he gazed at her, trying to discern what was wrong. She was never this forward with admitting that she needed him. Truth be told it scared him quite a bit to see her this vulnerable, he was used to the brave and tough Stella, but that didn't mean that he loved this Stella any less and it certainly didn't mean that he was going to run away. He would be there for her no matter what.

As Michael stepped inside he took the opportunity to take in the sight of her. She wasn't okay, that much was obvious. She was standing there in old sweats with her hair messily pulled back into a pony tail. Her eyes were red and puffy, a sure sign that she had been crying, and the dirt and grime from the day's work was still present on her skin, but to Michael she was beautiful. She was always beautiful in his eyes.

"So are you going to tell me what happened at the hospital?" questioned Michael in a concerned tone, needing to know what it was that had his Stella so upset.

Stella had planned on telling him, she really had, but now that he was here in front of her the prospect seemed a lot more daunting. She shouldn't be afraid to tell him, he was her best friend after all, she could tell him anything. Yet she couldn't find the words to tell him this. There was still so much more that had to be said first.

She felt the familiar feeling of tears pricking at her eyes. This had been happening all afternoon; she supposed that it had something to do with pregnancy hormones. But that didn't make her feel any less stupid.

"Stel," Michael murmured in a worried voice as he brought her into his arms, seeming to take away all of her worry in his embrace. Yet she still couldn't find the words to tell him. Instead she stood there in his arms, letting the tears fall. He was the only one who she would allow to see her this vulnerable; she trusted him. But she still couldn't say the words out loud. Saying it out loud would make it real and she wasn't ready to deal with that yet.

When Stella finally ran out of tears, she finally managed to compose herself. She was a little embarrassed by her actions, but she was with Michael so it was okay, she could be herself with him. However, she knew that there were more important matters to deal with than her embarrassment.

"Michael," she said softly as she wiped the tears from her eyes, finally finding her voice. "If this was the last time we were ever going to see each other, what would you say?"

"Stella?" he questioned as his worry increased. This was not the sort of conversation that he had expected to have. All sorts of possibilities of why she has said these these words ran though his head, each more terrifying than the last, before he managed to speak again. "Are you dying?" The last word came out as a whisper, almost as if he was too afraid to say it and entertain the possibility of losing her.

Stella shook her head, causing a sigh of relief to escape from Michael's lips. He knew that he wouldn't be able to handle losing her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, knowing that there was still something she wasn't telling him. Stella shook her head.

"Will you be okay?" he asked again. He knew that she would tell him in her own time but he needed to know that she would be okay.

She nodded this rime before resting her head on his chest. She knew that she would be okay as long as she had him. While Michael's worry wasn't exactly eased by Stella's vague answers and her admission that she wasn't okay, he was glad that she would be alright eventually. He vowed that he was going to do what it took to make sure that she was okay.

"You still haven't answered my question," prompted Stella, turning the focus back to Michael. She wanted to know what his answer would be.

"I would tell you what you already know," he replied sincerely, trying to avoid the question.

"And what's that?" she countered. She was determined to hear the words come from his mouth, assuming wasn't good enough anymore. Michael looked like he wanted to say something but was having difficulty getting the words out. It seemed that both of them always struggled to tell each other the important things.

"Stel," he began. If she really wanted to hear it from him he would find the words somehow, no matter how hard it was for him to voice the feelings that he had harboured for three years. He thought it was obvious how he felt.

"What do you want me to say?" he continued. He was looking to her for answers, just as she was doing to him.

"It's okay, Michael," she murmured, slightly disappointed. "You don't have to say anything." She wasn't going to force him to say something if he didn't want to. If he was going to answer her he would have to do it in his own time with his own words. Michael wrapped his arms around her tighter, bringing her in closer to his chest, his actions saying what his words weren't. She let herself sink into his embrace, finding comfort in his arms once again.

"I need a shower," Stella announced after a moment, breaking the silence as she realised the state she was in.

"Alright, how about you go and do that and I'll order us some food," Michael suggested. He had a feeling that she hadn't eaten all afternoon and thought that a relaxing night on the cough was a good idea.

Stella nodded as she was released from his arms. His plan sounded like a good one. Silently she walked towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She took a deep breath as she leaned back against the door in defeat. She had chickened out. Now Michael knew something was up and he was worried, plus she was still no closer to telling him that she was carrying his child. She would tell him eventually, she was just going to have to come to terms with it herself first.

Stepping away from the door, Stella made her way across to the middle of the room where she began to remove her clothing. After taking off her clothes she caught sight of herself in the mirror. It was all in her mind of course, but she felt as though she could already see a baby bump. She started to panic again as she felt the tears threatening to return. She couldn't handle this alone. She knew who she needed and fortunately for her he was only metres away.

Wrapping a towel around herself, feeling more vulnerable than ever, Stella made her way out of the bathroom and into the hallway. Standing just in view of the kitchen, she stopped, watching as Michael put the phone down after ordering their dinner.

"Michael," she called softly, barely loud enough for him to hear. She wouldn't have been surprised if he hadn't heard her, yet he turned around as if she had shouted his name. Taking in the sight of her standing there looking lost, he immediately strode across the room to her. He placed his hands on her bare upper arms as he gazed into her eyes, seeing the emotional need. Her eyes were the windows to her soul and though she didn't say anything, he knew exactly what she needed.

Releasing her arms, Michael led Stella back towards the bathroom. After closing the bathroom door behind them, he turned on the shower before beginning to undress. Once the water had heated up, he gently reached out for Stella's towel, catching it as she released her grip on it and letting it fall before she stepped into the warm spray.

Moments later Stella sensed Michael entering the shower behind her. She felt the panic leaving her at his presence. Wanting to get rid of the grime and sweat in her hair, she reached for the shampoo bottle, only to stop as she saw Michael reaching for it as well. Deciding to let Michael take charge for once, she retracted her hand and was soon rewarded as she felt Michael's hands massaging the shampoo into her hair. A soft sigh of contentment escaped from her lips as she relaxed and subconsciously let herself sink back into his chest, enjoying the feeling of his skilled hands massaging her scalp.

After Michael had finished washing her hair, Stella stepped under the spray, rinsing all the shampoo out while Michael reached for the soap, working it into a lather in his hands. He brought his hands to her back, exploring her body and cleaning as he did so. His hands travelled across her back, down to her waist and then back up to her shoulders in one fluid motion, his fingers searching and exploring while still providing comfort.

His hands moved down her sides before moving towards her stomach. Stella involuntarily tensed at this new direction his fingers were taking, paranoid that he would be able to tell that something was different. Michael stilled his hands, sensing her discomfort. He gently brought his lips to the top of her head in a reassuring gesture as his hands began to slowly and softly move again, taking it slow, millimetre by millimetre. She found herself relaxing again as his fingers worked their way across her stomach.

In his arms she felt safe from her troubles and found herself forgetting about the pregnancy. For the first time since she had found out, she didn't feel defined by this pregnancy. Together they were just Michael and Stella, just like they always were. When they were together all the other complications seemed to fade away.

Stella stood there, relaxing as Michael continued to pay the utmost attention to cleaning her body. Sure, his hands wandered and he paid more attention to certain parts of her body than he probably should have, but to tell the truth, Stella didn't mind. It was nice to feel wanted. No, the way his hands moved over her flesh wasn't particularly platonic, neither was her body's reaction to his touch, but then their relationship had never been particularly platonic.

As the water began to rinse the soap from her body, Stella reached for his hands, bringing them around to her stomach and holding them there. He moved closer, pressing his chest against her back and holding her tightly. Stella vaguely wondered if he could feel any change in her as his hands rested on her stomach and found that the thought didn't worry her so much anymore. She would tell him eventually. She just had to wait for the right moment.

Soon the pair were clean and the water was beginning to run cold. They knew it was time to get out. As they were getting out of the shower, the doorbell sounded. Michael offered to get it, knowing that it was probably their food. Stella watched as he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out to answer the door. She supposed that she should probably have some sort of objections to him answering her door in nothing more than a towel, but she found that she didn't really care. It felt natural. She enjoyed the sight of his bare muscled back walking away from her. It was the sort of sight that she could live with seeing every day.

Tearing herself away from the sight, Stella went to her bedroom to get dressed. She grabbed the first comfortable things that she could find and pulled them on before making her way out to the lounge. There she found Michael, still clad only in a towel, setting a couple of pizza boxes down on the table.

As Stella sat down, Michael grabbed a slice of pizza and sat next to her. She looked over to him and saw how relaxed he was. He looked like he lived there as he lounged on the couch eating his pizza, still only wearing a towel. For a moment Stella let herself imagine a life with Michael and this baby. She could see pizza night becoming a regular family tradition; although, she was still a long way away from that. She still hadn't even told him that she's carrying his child.

After the pizza had disappeared, Stella found herself gravitating towards Michael, seeking out comfort in his arms. Her head rested on his chest as he sat half behind her, his arm draped lazily over her waist. She found herself wondering what life would be like if every night was like this. She was incredibly grateful that Michael was there for her. It seemed like every time she needed him he was there. Without thinking about it, Stella turned her head to the side, her lips seeking out Michael's for a soft kiss.

"What was that for?" Michael asked as she broke away from him. He wasn't used to this side of Stella. Here she was, showing affection, kissing him gently and cuddling with him. Normally she wasn't this affectionate. Ordinarily if she wanted him she would let him know and they would get straight down to business, but here tonight she seemed to just be enjoying the moment.

"Just thanks," replied Stella with a smile before bringing her lips back to his. Michael's lips parted under hers as the kiss deepened. Stella brought her hands up to grip his hair as she turned around to face him, rising up as her chest pushed against him. She moved her legs so that she was straddling his lap, needing to get closer to him. He moaned into her mouth as she ground against him, feeling his obvious need for her.

While Michael loved every single moment that he spent with Stella and had enjoyed their shower immensely, at the same time it had been like torture for him. In that moment he had known that she had needed him emotionally and he was happy to be there for her. He would be there for whatever she needed, yet that didn't change the primal need that his body had for her. But now she needed him emotionally and physically and he was more than happy to deliver.

Pulling away from him, Stella stood up. She reached out to lace her fingers with his as their eyes met. There was a tenderness in her eyes that Michael wasn't used to seeing from her in moments like these. He stood up and followed her as she led him by the hand to her bedroom. He would follow her anywhere.

Once they were inside Stella's bedroom, she turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him fervently. As she broke away, she ran her hands down his chest before reaching for the towel and tossing it to the floor, keeping eye contact with him the entire time. Michael took a step forwards, closing the almost nonexistent gap between them. It was his time to take care of her.

He ran his hands down her sides slowly, memorising the curves of her body before gripping the hem of her t-shirt and lifting it up her body. His gaze remained fixed solely on her as the shirt was tossed to the floor and his hands moved to the waistband of her pants. Michael was pleased to find that she wore nothing under the pants and soon she stood naked in front of him.

Stella reached out to gently cup Michael's face before bringing her lips back to his. She reached out for his hand again and gently pulled him over to the bed. Stella lay back on the bed before Michael joined her, his lips only leaving hers for a moment. Her hands clutched at his hair as one hand moved to her breast and the other travelled between her legs, his touch almost electric. A whimper left her lips as her legs moved to wrap around his waist.

"Michael," she moaned her need for him evident. It was all the encouragement he needed.

Her hands gripped him tightly as he entered her, her nails digging into his flesh. Stella found herself losing herself in the sensations as he began to move inside her, swept up in the pleasurable dance. She glanced up, meeting tender green eyes which were looking back at her. In that moment Michael felt as though the pair of them had never been more equal. There was something different about this night, something special, something more; he could feel it.

Stella moved her hands up to Michael's shoulders, flipping them so that she was on top. Her hips moved against his, meeting each thrust. Michael watched as she tipped her head back in pleasure. Her eyes were half closed, her hair cascading down her back and her mouth slightly agape with her erratic breathing. Michael felt three little words forming on the time of his tongue, yet he held them back, afraid that they weren't the words she wanted to hear. Little did he know, the same three words were running through Stella's mind, muted by fear.

Soon Stella found her release, with Michael joining her moments later. She slumped down next to him, trying to catch her breath and one of her arms lazily fell across him. She felt his chest rising and falling as he also struggled for breath, both coming down from the high of the satisfying experience. Michael moved his arm so that it was around her, still comforting her and letting here know that he was there. He was always there for her.

As she cuddled into his side, he tightened his arm around her, holding her close to him. He turned his head to gently press his lips to her forehead before lying back on the pillow and allowing his eyes to drift shut as sleep claimed him.

Stella lay there silently, feeling at peace for the first time in hours. With Michael there she felt safe and knew that she could handle whatever came her way. As she lay there she made a decision; she would tell Michael that she was carrying his child in the morning. He deserved to know. He was there when she needed him and she knew that in the upcoming months she would only need him more and more.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed/alerted/favourited this. I was surprised by the response that this got. I thought that the Mella fandom was dead so it's nice to know that there are still fans out there. I would also like to thank everyone who has messaged me on tumblr asking when I am going to update. It's always nice to get messages like that and they do encourage me to write.

Now this chapter is set during ep 311. If you haven't seen it, you should because a) this chapter will probably make more sense if you do and b) it's an amazing episode. I have rewritten a few scenes from that episode but I have only included details that are important to this story.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter and I will try to get chapter 3 posted soon.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rush or any of the dialogue that I borrowed for this chapter.

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**Chapter Two**

_**You gave more – Michael Sandrelli**_

Stella woke up slightly disorientated. Then suddenly the events if the previous day came flooding back to her. She found that she wasn't as scared as she had been the previous day, indubitably due to Michael's comforting presence. As Michael entered her mind, she knew that it was time to tell him. She was ready. She could do this. She rolled over onto her back and was surprised when her arm hit the mattress. Opening her eyes and glancing over to her left, Stella discovered that Michael was no longer in bed.

Standing up, she made her way over to where her clothes lay strewn across the floor. She dressed and walked out to the kitchen, expecting to find Michael there. His stomach often got the better of him and it wouldn't be the first time that she had woken up to find him in the kitchen. Upon entering the kitchen it became apparent that Michael wasn't there. The house was empty aside from Stella herself. She glanced around, looking to see if Michael had left a note, yet there was nothing. It was like he had never been there. He had left without a trace.

Stella couldn't help the sense of abandonment that she felt. She had been ready to tell him, excited even. He had mentioned his desire to have children on a few occasions and she was sure this news would have made him happy, but now she wasn't so sure. She found her doubts about Michael's commitment resurfacing. He had been there for her when she needed him and she was grateful for that, but there was a part of her that still wanted him there. She knew it was selfish, but deep down she still needed him. On the surface she was alright, but her need for him ran much deeper than that.

Knowing that moping around here wasn't going to help, Stella began to get ready for the day. She made her way to the bathroom, glancing at the shower as she passed, remembering the feeling of Michael's hands in her hair, the feel of his warm chest pressed up against her, his hands gliding over her skin. Stella mentally shook herself, trying to stop herself from thinking about the memories of the previous night, yet Michael kept invading her thoughts.

After finishing in the bathroom, she walked back into the bedroom to get changed and was once again assaulted with the memory of Michael, his hands on her, his lips against hers, tongues dancing, hands roaming, flesh against flesh as their bodies moved together. Stella pulled herself out of her reverie; it wouldn't do her any good to dwell in the past. Yet despite her vow to banish all thoughts of the night that was, she found herself reminiscing about the way he held her as she walked into the lounge. She knew that she had to stop this, it wasn't helping at all. Right then she needed to get herself to work. She could dwell on Michael later.

As Stella drove to work she found herself becoming more and more frustrated with Michael. Waking up to find that he had gone hurt her, it hurt more than she cared to admit. It was like he regretted the previous night and wanted to escape, as if not seeing her would mean that it hadn't happened. She had a feeling that she knew why he had disappeared without a trace, but this reason was one that she didn't want to think about. It would only lead to jealously, not that she would ever admit to being jealous. She suspected that his absence had something to do with Audrey.

* * *

Soon Stella arrived at work where her first stop was the locker room. Upon entering the room, she discovered her runaway best friend who was just finishing getting changed. It was clear that he hadn't arrived much earlier than she had. She raised her hands up in a questioning gesture, waiting for him to explain his sudden departure to her. She wanted an excuse and it was going to have to be a good one.

It appeared that he didn't have a good excuse, judging but his lack of a response, and so a very exasperated Stella made her way over to her locker. Michael followed her, coming to stand by his locker which was conveniently situated right next to hers.

"I didn't want to wake you," Michael said in a hushed tone.

"What?" Stella interrupted, disbelief evident in her voice as she turned to look in her locker, avoiding his gaze.

"That's why I slipped out," he continued, his concern showing. "You looked serene."

Stella couldn't believe that after all the time he had had this was the best excuse he could come up with. It was just insulting that he couldn't just come out and say that he had left because he had suddenly remembered that he had a girlfriend. Just in case the situation wasn't already awkward enough, the girlfriend in question decided to appear at that moment, greeting them with a cheerful "hey".

"Hey," Michael replied. He sounded way too over friendly and incredibly suspicious. For someone who seemed determined to keep the events of the previous night a secret, he wasn't doing a very good job of it. From the way he was acting it was almost like he wanted her to guess that something was up.

"Hi, Stella," Audrey said, sounding much too nice. Her voice was sickly sweet. It made Stella sick to her stomach and that wasn't morning sickness talking, it was Audrey sickness.

"Hey," Stella replied shortly. She knew that she couldn't have sounded any more unfriendly if she had tried, but she wasn't going to pretend to be overjoyed by Audrey's presence. The woman had brought a whole new air of awkwardness to the room and Stella was sure that she wasn't the only one that could feel it.

"Sorry I missed the pub last night. I was wrecked yesterday," Audrey said. Stella just wished that she could disappear or that Audrey would leave, either would work.

"I didn't have a late one either," Michael lied as he pulled on his vest. "Just a quick, a quick beer here with Stel and then Christian and then, uh, straight home for Mum's classic carbonara."

Stella turned to look at Michael, meeting his eyes. She couldn't believe that he could just stand here and blatantly lie. It surprised her how easy it was for him to say these things. She was starting to have more doubts about telling him about this baby. Knowing that she couldn't stand to be in the room with these two for a second longer, Stella hastily made her way out of the room without a word. She needed to escape.

* * *

It wasn't until later that morning that Michael and Stella were alone again. The morning hadn't improved for Stella. Kerry had been keen to keep her back at base, insisting that she not over exert herself in her 'condition'. Stella had refused of course and so she had been sent off with Michael and Shannon. It was now time for their morning coffee break and Shannon had gone off to get the coffee, leaving Michael and Stella alone in the car. As it always did with them, the awkwardness had significantly faded, but there was still tension in the air. Stella was still painfully aware that she had something very important to tell him and this morning's drama hadn't made it any easier.

"She knows," Michael complained from the back of the car. "She knows."

"Michael, come on," Stella replied as she glanced at the car room. He was being paranoid. There was no way that Audrey knew. Truth be told Stella didn't really care if Audrey knew, she had never really liked the woman. Sure she wanted Michael to be happy, but she had never actually thought that he would go through with asking Audrey out. She had seen straight through his ploy to try and make her jealous when he said he was going to ask Audrey out. Sure she had encouraged him, but she hadn't believed that he would go through with it. She called his bluff and it had backfired on her. She was never going to stop him from asking Audrey out; to do that she would have had to have come up with a pretty good reason why he shouldn't, a reason that involved feelings that she hadn't quite come to terms with, complicated feelings that she didn't completely understand.

"You don't know Audrey like I do, Stel. She's..." he continued.

"Perky," Stella supplied, the disdain in her voice quite obvious. She found herself glad that she didn't know Audrey like Michael did.

"Yeah," Michael replied, realising that Stella was right. The way she said the word 'perky' made it sound like it wasn't a particularly good quality to have. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he found himself feeling the same way.

* * *

Michael and Stella found themselves alone once again later that day as they were searching a house. Shannon was downstairs, leaving Michael and Stella to search the bedroom. It was like the universe was determined to throw them together as many times as possible that day.

"So, last night," Michael began, once again approaching the subject. He had been thinking about it all morning and felt that they needed to talk about it.

"What about it?" Stella asked. She wasn't too keen on his chosen topic of conversation. She wasn't in the mood for more excuses.

"Well you tell me," Michael replied, turning the conversation back to her.

"Well you were there," Stella countered. If he wanted to talk then he would have to be the one doing the talking.

"And I'll be there tonight if you want me to be Stel," he responded seriously. There was such devotion in his words. Stella couldn't help but soften, sighing as she did so.

"I mean it," he continued as he gazed at her. His attention was fixed solely on her as he waited for some sort of indication that she wanted him too.

"I know you do," Stella replied, wishing that things were simpler. She didn't doubt his sincerity for a moment, but it was all just so complicated, there were so many things that needed to be said.

"So?" Michael prompted as a smile appeared on his face. He was taking her response as a positive one.

"Do you really think that this is the right time and place to be talking about this?" she asked, trying to avoid his questioning.

"Yeah, I actually think it's a pretty appropriate place to be talking about it," responded Michael as he grinned at her. He had never been too good with timing and choosing the right moment when it came to their conversations.

"Okay, well you're sick, so..." Stella argued, trailing off at the end.

"I'm sick?" Michael questioned. They were back to their usual banter.

"Yeah," she responded, glad that she had managed to avoid his questioning for the time being. But Michael hadn't given up, he would get the answers he was looking for, he was certain of that.

* * *

Michael managed to corner her again later at the hospital. He was sneaky this time, drawing her in with one of his pointless facts.

"Did you know that, uh, castration helps to prevent male pattern baldness," he informed her as they stood by the reception desk, just out of earshot of Shannon.

"He still has his balls," Stella retorted with a smile, glad that they could talk about something other than the previous night.

"I know that," he responded. "I'm just saying when Audrey cuts my balls off, there is an upside." Stella laughed awkwardly, turning away from him, trying to avoid the questions that she knew would follow.

She just didn't know how she felt about him. Everything had been perfect the night before when he was there for her and then it had all fallen apart in the morning. At first she had thought he regretted the previous night, but his admission that he would be there if she wanted him had confused her. It was always hot and cold with him. She never knew if they were just friends or something more. She supposed that since he had a girlfriend the latter was less likely, but the previous night had confused her. She just didn't know where she stood with him and until she did she wasn't going to be able to tell him about this baby.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sensing that something was up.

"Why should anything be wrong?" she countered. He couldn't know. There was no way that he could know. The only person she had told was Kerry and she had promised not to tell anyone. It was just typical; he always seemed to know when something was wrong with her.

"Well, uh, you know, it seems like you only ever sleep with me when something's wrong. So..." he said, trailing off, hoping that she would provide an explanation or at least tell him that his assumption was wrong. He didn't receive either.

"Don't make this into a bigger deal than it is," she warned him. She didn't need any more complications right then.

"Last night, Stel, was different," he furthered. He was completely serious, his honesty shone through his eyes.

"How?" she questioned, paranoia seeping into her words despite her best efforts to appear casual.

"Wasn't it obvious?" Michael asked. His voice was hushed and it was clear that this was not how he had intended the conversation to go.

"Not to me," Stella answered. He was going to have to spell it out for her. She was going to make him say it this time.

"I'm not..." he began as he looked away, clearly finding it all to be very uncomfortable. His voice was hushed and it was obvious that he was regretting starting this conversation here. He finally managed to compose himself, whispering three words that confused Stella even more.

"You gave more."

Stella was slightly taken aback; she didn't know how to deal with this admission. Michael reached out to place his hand on her arm. He was showing that he was there for her with that simple gesture, yet Stella was still confused. Sure, he was there for her then, but would he be there tomorrow or the next day? There was just too much uncertainty. She wished things were different.

* * *

The day seemed to drag on and on for Stella, but it eventually began to wind down. They finally sorted out their case for the day, thanks largely to Michael who told the offender the truth when no one else would. He had gone on about how she deserved the truth and that was all he could give her. Stella couldn't help but notice the parallels between this situation and her own. It was almost like Michael's words were directed at her, telling her to tell the truth.

Then the situation hit even closer to home as Stella found herself left with the job of holding the offender's baby. It was a strange feeling holding the baby boy. Stella knew that it wouldn't be long before she was holding her own child. The thought was quite terrifying, yet strangely nice at the same time. She looked up to see Michael gazing at her, watching as she held the boy close. There was such love and adoration in his eyes, as though the sight before him was the most perfect thing he had ever seen in his life. Stella couldn't help but smile as her eyes met his. It was moments like these when she could forget about how complicated everything was. She had a sudden urge to tell him. This perfect little moment could be what the rest of their life could be like; just Michael, Stella and their baby. Stella let herself imagine a life that was just that. It sounded too good to be true.

* * *

Stella felt a lot more unperturbed when she walked into the locker room that afternoon. She was ready to tell him, he deserved to know. She planned to tell him that night. She wasn't going to tell him then at work, there were too many people who could overhear and this was a conversation that she and Michael needed to have alone. It was a conversation that would change his life. She just had to find a way to get him alone.

She walked over to stand next to Michael's locker, pushing the door out of the way so she could see him better. There was a smile on her face. She was a lot happier than the last time she had been in that room.

"Shannon and I are going for a drink," she said cheerfully. "You wanna come?" Her plan was to get him to come out for a drink and then, as was usually the case, they would end up alone and she would be able to tell him.

"Audrey's making me dinner, Stel," he said by way of an excuse, dousing her hopes and ruining her plan. This statement totally contradicted his earlier words.

Stella nodded before turning and walking out of the room, trying not to show him how much his knock back hurt her. There was nothing that she could do to change his mind. She was just about to leave when she realised that she had something important to say.

"Hey, Michael," she said as she walked back into the room. "Thanks."

"For what?" he asked, confused as to what he had done to warrant her gratitude.

"For being there when I need you," she answered honestly before turning to leave again. She could tell that Michael was confused, this wasn't how things usually went, but he needed to know that she was grateful.

"You mean when you need a root, Stel," he retorted, tagging her name on at the end as a snarky afterthought. His words hurt more than she let on. She turned back towards him, ready to tell him everything. He had to know why it was different now and that his words weren't true.

"Michael," she began, her tone a little harsher than she had intended. His eyes were focused on her, searching for any indication of what her response would be. Once again he was hoping that she would tell him he was wrong, yet this was a war of sorts, their tempers were coming into play and they were both beginning to realise exactly how much words could hurt.

She was ready to tell him about the baby, anger fuelling her words. His words had hurt her. She was ready to lash out and tell him, just so that he could understand what she was going through. Then suddenly she couldn't find the words. Deep down she knew that she didn't want to blurt this news out in retaliation. She wanted to tell him properly. She was coming to the realisation that she wasn't ready to tell him and she was pretty sure that he wasn't ready to hear it either.

"You know what, Michael," she continued, chickening out again. "Just forget it." With that she turned to leave for the final time. There was a part of her that wanted him to stop her, to demand that she tell him what was wrong. It was the same part of her that was disappointed when he did nothing of the sort.

Stella left the building with a heavy heart, wiping tears from her eyes, willing herself to be strong. She didn't want him to affect her like this, but the truth was that he did. He was the only one who could evoke these sorts of feelings in her. She experienced her highest highs and her lowest lows thanks to him. It honestly terrified her.

She went straight home. Suddenly she didn't feel like going for a drink with Shannon anymore, it wasn't like she could drink anyway. Shannon would understand. Stella wasn't quite sure what she needed to make herself better, but she had a feeling that it would be something to do with her best friend. That man had a way of making her feel better, but the trouble was he wasn't there. He had Audrey, Stella was just an afterthought.

* * *

Michael drove around the streets of Melbourne. He wasn't quite sure where he was going, he was just driving. At that moment there wasn't much that he was sure about. He was conflicted. He wasn't sure whether he should find Audrey and try to explain things to her in the hope that she would take him back or if he should hunt down Stella and find out what had her so upset. He regretted his words to her. It had broken his heart to see her leaving the building, obviously wiping away her tears. He'd had a split second to decide whether to go after her or Audrey. He chose Audrey and couldn't help but feel as though he had made the wrong decision.

He was pretty sure that things were over with Audrey; she was not happy with him and had made that pretty clear. He had probably messed things up with Stella too. It seemed that he was stuffing everything up that day. He found himself faced with the same decision once again: Audrey or Stella.

For the first time in about ten minutes, he paid attention to his surroundings and saw that he had unknowingly turned into Stella's street. It appeared that his subconscious had made his decision for him. The answer was Stella, it was always Stella. As he pulled up outside her house he made a decision; he was going to find out what was wrong with her and do what it took to make everything better. He would do that for her.

Stella couldn't say that she was surprised to find Michael knocking on her door that night, he did have a habit of showing up when she needed him most, but she was surprised to find that he was choosing to come after her several hours after she had left. She suspected that he had been with Audrey. The thought hurt her more than she cared to admit. But that still didn't explain why he was here now, he was supposed to be with Audrey, that's what he told her. The fact that he was there with her gave her hope, though she didn't let her guard down.

"I know that something's wrong," Michael said, breaking the silence. "I know that because I can see it in your eyes. You're trying to hide something from me. Just tell me what it is so I can help you." He was pleading with her. He couldn't help her unless she was willing to cooperate with him.

"You're right, Michael," Stella responded as she took a step forwards and looked up at him. "There's something I have to tell you."

"Then tell me," he answered almost desperately, just wanting to help her.

"I don't think I can," she admitted truthfully. Her eyes met his and he understood. He opened his arms, pulling her into a hug. It was something that they both needed. He was getting as much comfort from this gesture as she was. They always seemed to return to each other for comfort.

Stella hated that she was this weak. She hated that she was this vulnerable. She hated that she needed Michael so much, yet he understood. He needed her just as much as she needed him. As much as he wanted to know what was wrong so that he could help, he was content to just be there for her. He would be there for whatever she needed.

Neither of them were quite sure how long they stood there for wrapped in each other's arms. Time seemed to pass at a different pace when they were together. Eventually Stella pulled back, although Michael didn't release her from his arms.

"I want you to go now," she said softly. There was no anger in her words. It was just a simple statement although Michael detected an almost pitiful hurt in her voice.

"Stel?' he questioned, wondering why she was turning him away.

"If you stay we both know what will happen and I don't want to wake up to find that you're gone again," Stella answered. She was proud of herself for taking this stand. She was getting some of her strength back.

Michael nodded. As much as he wanted to promise to stay, to promise that he would never leave suddenly again, he knew that his record was against him. He was accepting her request even though it pained him deep inside. He leant down to gently press his lips to her forehead before he released her and turned to leave. He would see her the following day. If she wanted him to leave then, as much as it killed him to do it, he would respect her wishes. He had said that he would be there if she wanted him to be and it went the other way too.

The door shut with a click behind Michael and Stella found herself alone again. It had taken a lot of strength to send him away when all she wanted was for him to be back here with her. She allowed herself to slump against the wall as she sank to the floor, bringing her head into her hands. She was being weak and she hated it. Her life had been changed in the space of a day and she was nowhere near coming to terms with it. She just didn't know what to do anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I'm sorry that this took so long. There were a few bits that just weren't cooperating. Also a big thanks to the people who have been messaging me on tumblr. You are a huge help. I'll try to get chapter four done soon for you. Again, I've rewritten a couple of scenes although they were just from memory this time because I get too distracted by my feels when I watch the episodes. Hopefully I got the quotes right. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rush or any of the characters.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

**If we hit thirty-five and still haven't hooked up, we should have a baby – Michael Sandrelli**

Nearly a week passed and nothing was said between Michael and Stella. Well that was technically a lie. They had spoken, just not about the important things. Stella still hadn't told him about the baby. She knew that she had to tell him, but she needed to let it sink in first. She had doctors' appointments, ultrasounds and others of the sort to arrange, but she was putting it all off. She just needed some more time to deal with everything. She was going to postpone acceptance for as long as possible. Acceptance meant having to deal with everything and Stella was nowhere near ready for that.

Michael took some time to mull everything over; Stella, Audrey, his life in general. He felt like he should fix things with Audrey. He felt that he owed it to Audrey to make it up to her. It was the right thing to do. Then there was Stella. He knew that he had to help her. It was like it was programmed in his DNA for him to be there for her, but she kept pushing him away. It was hard for Michael. All he wanted was for Stella to say that she wanted him. Little did he know, Stella was waiting for a similar confession from him. Their communication skills were far from perfect.

Michael knew he couldn't keep up this strange relationship with Stella. They weren't just friends, yet they weren't quite something more. It was all very confusing and he knew that he couldn't continue this way forever. It hurt too much. If Stella didn't want him, then he was just going to have to move on, no matter how difficult it would be. So he went after Audrey. Not literally of course, she was doing her best to avoid him, but he did phone her every day in the early hours of the morning. Because, to Michael, that seemed like a great way to get someone back.

Michael and Stella didn't spend much time alone over the course of the week. It wasn't that they were avoiding each other as such, it was just that they weren't making much of an effort to spend time together like they usually did. They had settled into their usual routine of pushing their feelings to the side and continuing on as if nothing had happened. They were quite good at that, however it wasn't something that they could keep up forever. There would come a time when they would have to talk, but as they always did, they went back into their little pattern of avoidance. They could keep this up for weeks, months even. In a way they had been in a state of avoidance for the entire duration of their friendship. There were so many feelings that they were yet to verbalise, feelings that had been avoided for several years now.

Days passed and Stella knew that she had to tell Michael. She couldn't avoid this forever. She knew how hurt he would be if he realised that she had been keeping this from him for so long. The worry was building up inside her and she knew that there would come a time very soon when she would need a friend. More specifically, she would need Michael. She just hoped that he would be around to help her.

* * *

"Michael," Stella called on afternoon after work as she walked over to her best friend, catching him just as he was about to leave. "You up for a drink?" Her suggestion was casual and upbeat, yet inside her heart raced at the knowledge that if he said yes, by the end of the night she would be telling him something that would change his life forever.

"Nah," he rejected. He'd had a long day. Weeks' worth of pent up emotions had caught up with him and demanded to be released. All Michael wanted to do was to go home and sleep his feelings away. He wasn't in the mood for socialising.

"I need a buddy," Stella replied, trying to convince him, letting the implications of her words sink in as she tried to hide her disappointment. "Christian's threatening to tell me about the divine mercy of Jesus Christ." If her subtle hints weren't going to work then she would guilt him into coming with her.

"I might be interested in a bit of faith myself tonight," he replied distantly. This wasn't like Michael at all.

"You okay?" she asked, her genuine concern for him shining through her words. Michael nodded. "Do you need a hug?" There was a slight hint of teasing in her words as she attempted to cheer him up and lighten the mood.

"Oh don't go there," he warned, though there was an allusion of a smile that came with his words, showing Stella that her attempt at cheering him up was working.

"Well give Audrey a call. She can meet us down there," Stella tried again, attempting another tactic. Though she had absolutely no desire to see the other woman, this solution would at least give her an opportunity to get Michael alone and tell him.

"Nah, she knows," Michael responded, not entirely disappointed to be saying no to this suggestion.

"About what?" Stella questioned curiously. Michael gave her a pointed look, reminding her of the night they had spent together not so long ago.

Oh that," she responded as she realised what he was referring to. Michael nodded and an air of awkwardness settled over them.

This was a typical example of one of their conversations. One of them would hint at something and the other would guess what they were trying to say. Although, unlike most of their previous conversations, Stella _had_ managed to guess what Michael was hinting at and they were now on the same page. It was amazing how much simpler things were when they actually understood what the other was trying to say. Stella hoped that this two way communication could continue on throughout the night. It would make telling him a lot simpler, though she still had to convince him to come out with her first.

"Yeah, she's taking a hit out on you as we speak." Michael's words brought Stella back to their present conversation.

"Me?"

"Possibly"

"How is this my fault?" she asked incredulously, trying to understand why the blame was being piled on her. There had been two of them there that night, two equal partners, and there were two of them there now. _Soon to be three _a voice in her head piped up. _Soon to be three_ Stella repeated in her mind, finding that she liked the sound of it. Though she knew that if she didn't tell Michael soon, there would only be two and a very long journey for one that Stella would have to complete alone.

"Give me a sec," Michael said, interrupting her worrying. Stella waited patiently as Michael walked off to talk to Lawson. While waiting, she came to an important decision. It was time to stop mucking around and just tell Michael. Tonight was the night to be honest. She would be brave. It was time. By the end of the night, she would tell him.

Michael came back looking more relaxed than he had before. Stella gave him an expectant and questioning look, prompting him to surrender with an "alright" before the pair left together. Both now wore a smile, Michael's a product of feeling as though things were finally going to start going his way – it was just a feeling he had – and Stella's accomplished half smirk was at the knowledge that she was about to do what she had been putting off for so long. She knew, well technically hoped would be a better word, that the confession would bring a sense of peace and calm that she had been missing for some time now.

* * *

By some sort of strange twist of fate, Stella and Michael found themselves back at the pub they had visited a couple of months ago, back when they had made the pact to have a baby together. They hadn't been back to this place since that night as it was away from the area that they usually frequented. Stella couldn't help seeing the irony in it all. Here they were now, at the same place they had made a life changing decision and she was about to tell Michael some more life changing news. Though it had not been so long ago that she had been sitting there listening to Michael tell her his grand plans of having children with her, it felt like an age ago to her. It was the night that had started it all. Stella could still remember every detail of that night.

_ "If we hit thirty-five and we still haven't hooked up, we should have a baby," Michael announced amidst their usual teasing. Stella couldn't help it; she just burst out laughing. _

_ "We're a good team, Stel," he continued. _

_ "Alright, okay. You're on," Stella responded with a grin, reaching her hand out to shake on it. _

_ "Really?" he asked, not quite believing that she was agreeing to this so easily. He had mentally prepared a list of reasons why this was a good idea, showing that he had put a lot of thought into this, and was surprised not to need them. _

_ "Really," she confirmed, confident with her decision. _

_ "You don't want to think about it?" Michael asked, not wanting her to rush her decision and change her mind later. Stella shook her head. _

_ "Nah, you'd make a great dad," she said by way of explanation. She meant it. It was true. Michael hastily wiped at his eyes as he felt the tears returning. _

_ "Oh no," he murmured, embarrassed by this display. He was overcome with emotion. _

_ "Are you crying?" Stella asked, trailing off, unsure of what to do. _

_ "It's been happening to me all day. I don't know what's going on. I'm just so happy right now," Michael responded. It had been an emotional day for him, from helping deliver the baby to finding out how upset Stella had been by her recent break up. Sometimes your emotions just catch up to you and you have to stop and let them take over. _

Stella found that in that moment, like Michael, she had been incredibly happy. Throughout the gigantic mess that was her life, she knew that one thing was for sure, Michael would always come back to her, even it if didn't always seem like it. Stella had never regretted the deal she had made with him, not even now. There were times that she questioned if it was the right decision, yet deep down she knew that in the end she and Michael were destined to find their way back to each other. It was just getting to this ending that was proving to be a problem for them.

Her thoughts drifted back to that night.

_ As Michael wiped the tears from his eyes, he looked up, his eyes meeting Stella's. Stella could see that there was such raw emotion in his eyes and, dare she say it, love. It almost scared her, yet instead of shying away she found herself drawn to Michael, seeking out this emotion. She felt closer to him now that she had made this pact to have a baby with him. It was like their futures were now entwined together by some sort of imaginary string, linking them and holding them together. _

_ Hours later the pair left the bar and, as they so often did, made their way back to Stella's place. That look remained on Michael's face the entire night, the look that Stella wasn't quite brave enough to label as love. _

_ As they made their way inside, they began their familiar dance. Their lips met, neither of them quite sure who initiated the kiss. It didn't matter. When they were together they were Michael and Stella, but not as separate entities, they were one. Clothes fell to the floor as hands roamed, exploring what they knew so well after many nights like this, though they never seemed to tire of the familiarity. This was where they went when they needed someone. This was home. _

_ This was the point where Stella would take charge and would push Michael towards the bedroom or, if her need for him as particularly urgent, she would just shove him up against a wall and have him there. Tonight she went for the former, yet her movements were no less forceful, her dominant nature taking over. Michael was more than happy to go along with her. Her confidence was something that he loved about her. _

_ As he filled her, Stella looked up to meet his eyes, noticing that look was still prevalent on his features. This was new. This was different. For a second she was sure that he was going to say those three words to her. She found that for the first time in her life she wanted to hear them and not just hear them; she wanted to hear Michael say those words to her. There was a part of her that was disappointed when the words were not said, though the disappointment was quickly pushed out of her mind and her thoughts were consumed by the sensations that Michael was evoking inside her. _

That night marked a milestone in Stella's life. It was the night that she first realised that her feelings for Michael might be more than this casual friends with benefits type thing they had going on. Yet she hadn't been ready to admit it then, she hadn't even really admitted it to herself back then. Now she was surer of her feelings, yet no less scared of them, no closer to admitting them and certainly no closer to solving this hot and cold thing that Michael seemed to have going on with her.

"What are you thinking about?" Michael asked as he took a drink of his beer. Stella realised that she had been silent for some time now. Mercifully Michael had chosen a table in the corner, lending them some privacy from the rest of the room.

"I was just thinking about the last time we were here," she answered honestly. Michael smiled as he joined her in her reminiscing.

_ As his hands trailed over her flesh, he knew that he had made the right decision in asking Stella to have a baby with him. In that moment, he just felt so many emotions. Elation, love and complete and utter happiness were amongst them. Yes, he had finally admitted it to himself. He did love Stella. In a way he had known it for a while. It wasn't like he woke up one day and realised he loved her, it took time. His affection for her grew over time and blossomed into love. He liked it better this way. He was proud to say that he had grown to love Stella Dagostino over time. He had come to appreciate her and her quirks. He noticed things about her that he doubted anyone payed attention to; her smile, her laugh, the way she teased him and the way that she seemed to have a special smile reserved just for him. Because he loved her. He could admit it now. He just hadn't said anything to her. The rejection, hearing that she didn't feel the same way; it would kill him. He knew one thing was for certain as their lips met; he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. _

"Did you mean it?" Stella asked, deciding that this was her chance.

"Yeah, of course," Michael responded. "Thirty-five." They both shared a smile. Thirty-five had seemed like so far away back then, yet Stella realised that the reality of having a child wasn't too far away now.

"You're not having second thoughts are you?" he continued, sounding genuinely worried. Even through all of their on/off relationships and mucking around, he was always certain on this. They had agreed on it and it was something he could count on. They could go and do whatever they wanted now, but in the end they were going to end up back together. It was like their futures were joined together. Without this pact, the future was uncertain.

"I'm pregnant," Stella admitted by way of reply. It felt good to say those words, to get them off her chest. That was until she saw the shocked look on Michael's face. Her elation began to fade, worry gnawing at her stomach.

Michael ran his hands through his hair, his face hidden from Stella. Time was ticking away and he still hadn't responded. Stella wondered if she should say something. But what was one supposed to say at a time like this? She had just thrust this live changing announcement on Michael. Stella wished that there was some sort of handbook on how to tell your best friend/on again off again lover that you were carrying the baby you had agreed to have, several years before the agreed time. No, there wasn't much she could say, but that didn't stop her from trying. She had to know what he thought of this.

"Michael," she spoke tentatively in a tone that was so very unlike her. She received no reply. Michael was still silent with his head in his hands, trying to register what he had just been told.

"You're having a baby," he finally said, his thoughts on the matter still unclear. Stella nodded, worried by his reaction. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. She wished she could take back her words, take back this baby, take back everything that had led her to this awkward moment. She wanted out, yet she knew that this situation wasn't something that she could escape from, she could run from the room, but she couldn't run from this baby. She would just have to deal with this.

"Say something," she pleaded, her words barely audible. She had to know what he was thinking. If he didn't want anything to do with this child then, then that was fine, she would find a way to get through this on her own, not matter how hard it would be. But she needed to know one way of the other. His silence was scaring her. She wasn't taking it as a good sign.

Yet Michael surprised her once again, standing up as his face split into a wide grin. He strode around the table, taking Stella's face in his hands before crashing his lips to hers, kissing her hard. His lips were telling her what he seemed to be unable to verbalise in his state of shock and happiness. His enthusiasm surprised her. She had been sure that he was about two seconds away from running away. This was much better though, she needed him with her on this journey.

Stella smiled against his lips, wondering why she had been so worried about telling him. This was Michael, she could tell him anything. Suddenly Michael pulled back from her, a worried look on his face. Stella felt her elation fade. Here was the negative reaction she had been waiting for.

"It is mine, right?" Michael asked seriously, needing to be sure on this before he let himself get any more excited. Stella laughed, letting out a breath she had been unknowingly holding.

"Of course it's yours," she responded, feeling at ease and joyful for the first time in a long time. Michael smiled with her, genuinely happy about this.

"You said I'd make a great dad," Michael announced proudly, taking her back to their last visit to this place. To this day, this was still one of his favourite compliments he had received. It meant so much to him that Stella thought this. He was determined to prove her right.

"It's true," Stella replied honestly. "You would, _will _make a great dad." Michael smiled as Stella corrected herself. The news was just starting to sink in.

"I'm going to be a dad," Michael said, mainly for his own benefit. He looked like he could shout it from the roof tops.

"Please don't announce it to the entire room," Stella pleaded, genuinely afraid that he might do just this. She wasn't ready for everyone to know. Michael laughed off her concern, but she could see in his eyes that she was right to be worried about this. He had been seconds away from doing just that.

"We're going to have a baby," Michael announced, thankfully quietly and only loud enough for Stella to hear.

"Yeah, we're going to have a baby," Stella replied, saying the words for the first time. She liked the sound of this 'we'. The repetition of the words had not lessened their effect. They still carried their original implications, reminding the pair of what was to come.

Michael wrapped his arms around Stella, standing there and just holding her, letting everything sink in. Stella allowed herself to indulge in this affectionate behaviour, something that they both tended to avoid in public. She felt safe and happy. She was vaguely aware of the rest of the room, but she didn't care. Now was her time to just be with Michael. She was living in the moment, thinking of the future and the past, but still just enjoying the present. Moments like these were rare, yet Stella found she was genuinely happy, glad of the comfort Michael was providing. Nothing else mattered when she was in Michael's arms.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Michael asked curiously, his chin resting against the top of Stella's head.

"I don't know yet," Stella answered into his chest, just enjoying Michael's closeness.

"Mmmm, I think a boy would be good," Michael decided.

"Alright I'll do my best to make it a boy for you then," Stella teased, sarcasm leaking into her words.

"Good," Michael grinned, playing along with her sarcasm. "Then we can name him Michael junior." This last sentence was said with no trace of humour or mockery. Michael was completely serious.

"No," Stella replied forcefully, also quite serious as she pulled away from him. "We are not naming our child Michael junior." She paused to smile at the words 'our child'.

"Why not?" Michael pouted. _He_ thought that Michael junior was a great name.

"Because one of you is bad enough," Stella retorted. They were back to their usual teasing.

"So when is Michael junior going to be born?" Michael asked. It was too late; the name had stuck.

"_Our baby _will be born in about thirty weeks," Stella said, emphasising the first two words. It was those two words again. _Our _baby. _Our _child. Stella found that she was beginning to like these words a lot.

There was plenty of time to come up with a new name, but deep down Stella knew that just over seven months was not a long time at all. The time would pass before she knew it. This thought didn't terrify her as it once did. Sure it scared her, but it wasn't the same crippling fear she had previously felt. She put this down to the comfort she found in Michael's arms.

* * *

Michael continued asking questions for the rest of the night, all the way back to Stella's house. Some questions Stella could answer and some she had no clue about. How was she supposed to know if the baby would inherit Michael's 'brilliant sense of humour'? (Michael's words not hers).

As Michael shut the door to Stella's house behind them, he turned to face her with a serious expression on his face. He had something important to tell her.

"I'm really excited about this baby, Stel," he said honestly. He reached out, picking up Stella's hands and holding them loosely in his. She found this gesture incredibly sweet. It was new, but not necessarily a bad thing.

"Me too," she replied, finding that she really meant these words. The idea of having a child seemed completely different with Michael around. The excitement now outweighed the fear.

Michael leant down, hesitating for a moment, before gently pressing his lips to hers. This wasn't how things usually went with them. This was new and unfamiliar, yet Stella supposed that this was something she would have to get used to. A lot was going to change with her, with them, very soon.

"Stella, I..." Michael began. Stella knew what was coming. He was going to say those words, but he was going to say them because that's what he was supposed to say. It was the 'right time'. She didn't want to hear the words like that.

"Don't," she said, shaking her head, stopping him before he could say something that would ruin everything. His face fell slightly, but that didn't stop him. He had his serious expression on.

"Stel, I'm going to be here for you through it all," he continued, his honesty and devotion evident as he spoke. "I promise"

Stella smiled as she squeezed his hand in thanks. That was exactly what she needed to hear. She was truly grateful that Michael was there for her. The future didn't seem so scary with him there.

She gestured towards the bedroom with her head. This was more like them, although there was still something different, something more. They were back to their usual routine. Old habits die hard. With a remarkable tenderness she led him by the hand to the room where they had spent many a night, yet this was unlike all those other times. There was something more between them, and not just their child. Though they were still yet to talk about their feelings, it was almost like they had a better understand of each other now. Neither of them had run away from this situation and it looked like they were in it for the long haul.

Her movements were gentle as she moved her hands to his hips and leant in to kiss him. She let him take the lead, allowing him to slip her jacket off her shoulders. She began to push his shirt up, exposing his stomach, although ultimately Michael was in control. It was his night to show Stella how much she meant to him.

* * *

Hours later, Michael lay awake in bed, thinking over everything that had happened that day. It had been long and emotionally exhausting from having a gun held to his head to finding out about Stella's pregnancy. He was glad to be able to take some time to just lie back and think over everything.

This baby was a good thing, Michael was sure of it. Sure the timing was off, but ultimately this was what he wanted. He was still in the stage where the implications hadn't really sunk in, but he was excited about it. He was determined to be a great dad for this child.

Michael turned to look at Stella who lay asleep next to him. He reached out hesitantly, his fingers splaying over her stomach, lightly grazing her flesh, searching, yet with a gentle softness and no urgency, simply content in the moment. It was strange to think that his son or daughter was growing in there. Michael was still trying to wrap his head around it.

As the night faded to early morning, the pair slept peacefully. Things were finally looking like they were going to work out for them. In that moment, all was well. Michael was excited for what the future held and Stella felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She didn't have to worry about telling him anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

So, eight days. That wasn't an overly long time to wait, right? Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed and, of course, thank you to my lovely tumblr anons and the others who have sent me messages reminding me to work on this. You are a huge help in motivating me. Anyway it's 1.30am and I have just finished editing this chapter which is pretty good considering twelve hours ago I actually had no idea of the plot for this chapter. I really need to sit down and write some notes for this fic. Anyway, I will try to get chapter 5 posted very soon for you.

As usual, I would love to hear your thoughts. Blame any mistakes on the fact that I am quite tired (I was up until 3 writing this last night) and the fact that there is a cat who won't stop walking in front of the screen.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rush or any of the characters.

Oh and your recommended watching for this week is episode 314.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**We're cool right? Like nothing's different? – Michael Sandrelli**

Stella awoke the next morning to find herself wrapped in Michael's arms. His hand lay almost possessively over her stomach, almost as if he was subconsciously trying to protect his unborn child. She smiled to herself, glad at how telling him had worked out. She felt Michael stir beside her as he began to wake up. A small noise of contentment left his lips, a product of his half conscious state. As he began to wake up properly, a smile spread onto his lips. He had woken up with Stella in his arms and had just remembered her news. Today was already turning into a good day and he hadn't even gotten out of bed yet.

"Morning," he said cheerfully, receiving an almost identical reply from Stella.

Stella turned her head back so she could see Michael, smiling as she did so. She was peaceful and content as she lay there in his arms.

"What?" Michael asked, taking in her grin and responding with a similar one of his own.

"Just happy," she responded truthfully.

"Me too," agreed Michael as he pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. In that moment, they were as happy as could be. They were both content to lie there for hours, all morning, all day, or even for the rest of their lives, but they both knew that their perfect little moment would have to end.

This ending came in the form of a loud buzzing sound from Stella's alarm clock, telling them both that they had to get up. Duty called. The day was beginning. They were needed and the place they were needed was not in bed.

Stella was the first to move, disentangling herself from Michael's limbs and getting up to start the day. Michael rolled over onto his back, stretching his arms out wide and just laying there, enjoying the moment. After a few moments' rest, he knew that he had to get up. Sighing loudly, he climbed out of bed before hastily dressing and going off in search of some food.

Stella emerged from the bathroom soon after to find Michael in the kitchen. He had a piece of toast in each hand, one half eaten and the other waiting to be eaten. He looked satisfied as he stood there munching on his breakfast happily. As she walked past him, she snatched the uneaten piece of toast from his hand.

"Stel, that was mine," he protested loudly, his mouth full of toast. "That was my food!" Stella took no notice of him and turned to leave the kitchen. He seemed to be very upset by this turn of events.

"Stel, give it back," he ordered, stepping towards her. Stella's response was to turn around and provocatively take a bit of the toast before leaving a pouting and dejected Michael with his remaining half a slice of toast. But he wasn't going to give up like that; apparently he seemed to believe that breakfast thievery was a serious issue.

Michael hurried out of the kitchen after her, determined to get his stolen breakfast back from her. She was unsuspecting as she walked back to the bedroom and was surprised as Michael wrapped his arms around her, trying to hold her still so that he could recover his toast. She struggled in his arms, holding the stolen food as far away from him as possible.

"Stella," he warned. Stella laughed at the lengths he was going to in order to retrieve the stolen food. There was plenty more bread sitting in the kitchen just waiting to be toasted, but apparently he needed this piece of toast. It was the principle of it.

Stella brought the toast to her mouth, taking another bite, watching the look of shock on Michael's face as he struggled to hold her still and get the toast back while still holding the other piece of toast in his other hand. She laughed at how serious he was taking this before grabbing his arm and twisting it until he yelled out. She used his moment of weakness to escape from his arms and eat the remaining bit of toast that she held, sporting a cocky grin on her face. It was too late. She had won.

"Stella," he growled, reaching out to envelop her in his arms once again, but he couldn't help the laughter that fell from his lips as he rocked her in his arms. Stella joined him in his moment of joy, laughing along with him. She turned around in his embrace, half facing him. She looked up at him for a moment, watching the way he gazed at her adoringly, before looking back to the remaining toast that he held, a sly grin appearing on her face. Michael couldn't help but smile at her, truly grateful that he had her in his life. This distraction she provided as he held her in his arms proved to be the downfall of Michael's breakfast. Using his unfocused state, Stella snatched the other piece of toast from his hands and pulled free from him before he could stop her.

"Stella." He wasn't laughing this time.

* * *

Michael and Stella drove to work together, having driven home from work together the previous night. Stella drove while Michael sat in the passenger seat in silence, an immature pout on his face which lasted for at least the first half of the journey. At first he was pouting about the fact that Stella had stolen his toast and then he was pouting because she had refused to let him drive. Eventually his childish grumpiness began to subside and he found his thoughts drifting back to Stella's pregnancy. Things were starting to make sense now, but there was just so much for him to process.

"Is that why you collapsed the other week?" he asked out of the blue. "Because of the baby?" Stella nodded, keeping her eyes on the road the entire time, avoiding his gaze.

"Are you..."

"I'm fine, Michael," she interrupted, sounding a little harsher than had intended. She knew what he was going to say. She despised concern and pity. One thing she was worried about was that people would treat her different because of this pregnancy. She didn't want their concern. It would drive her crazy if people started acting that way, particularly if it was Michael that was doing so.

"Alright, just promise me that you'll tell me if you're not," he responded, his concern evident. Stella chanced a glance at him to see that he sported a soft and caring look. She felt her heart softening.

"Okay," she sighed in defeat. She couldn't argue with that look.

After this, they resumed their silence, both thinking about what the future held for them and their baby.

* * *

The day passed very slowly for Michael. TR had been called in to help deal with a marathon siege. It was dull work, work that was best suited to the less intelligent uniforms, Michael thought as he stood minding the perimeter. He should be in the team that was infiltrating the building with Stella, right where all the action was. Perhaps it was because of this that he picked up his phone and called Audrey.

"Yeah, yeah I'm still here," Michael said as he walked towards the building that Lawson had said had occupants in it. "I just had to be a bit discrete." It was true. Strictly speaking, he wasn't supposed to be talking to Audrey, he was at work, but they had left him with the most tiresome job.

In the beginning, Michael hadn't minded the simple job. It had given him time to think. At first he had thought of Stella and how much he had enjoyed their night together. Then he thought of her pregnancy and how excited he was. He was going to be with her for every step of this journey.

Then he began to think of what would happen after the baby was born. Could he and Stella raise this child together? How would the living arrangements work? Would it live with Stella? Would it live with him? Would they share it? Who was going to look after it? Would Stella quit work to raise it? She couldn't; she loved her job. When would Michael get to see the child? Would Stella get the child on the weekdays and then leave it with him on the weekend? He didn't want to be one of those single dads that worked all week and then came home to see his child on the weekends only to do it all again the next week. Michael was going to be to be there for this child, that was a certainty, but he couldn't help but wonder what this would mean for him and his career. Would he be stuck being a senior constable for the rest of his life, held back by the fact that he would have a child look after and put first.

There were just so many things that Michael was uncertain of. For the first time since he had heard this news, he found himself worrying about the situation and thinking about all the negative consequences that would come with it. He found himself wondering if this was such a good thing. Earlier he had been ecstatic, but now he wasn't so sure. He began to realise that this was it. This was the rest of his life, just him, Stella and the baby, continuing through the routine of everyday life until they died. The thought didn't appeal to him as much as it had the previous night.

When Michael had turned sixteen and had to start thinking seriously about his future career, he had come up with several options. Builder, fireman, lifeguard – ladies love lifeguards, and following in his father's footsteps to work in the family business were all potential careers that he had considered, yet the one that appealed to him the most was policing. It was perfect, or so sixteen year old Michael thought. It was exciting and adventurous with opportunities to move up the ranks. Michael was very keen on this aspect of the job. He never wanted to stop moving improving; there was always somewhere he could go, some goal he could strive for. Michael had ambition and he did not plan on wasting it. He never wanted to have to give all this up, but would he have to? Was this baby going to lead him straight into a dead end?

It was quite possible that this added to his need to call Audrey. She was something different. She represented a challenge, especially given that she seemed determined to avoid talking to him. He felt a small sense of victory when she picked up the phone. Perhaps he wasn't headed straight for a dead end after all.

"Why are you calling me now? I don't get it," Audrey spoke through the phone as Michael walked. He had to think about his answer carefully. He didn't think that 'I have just found out that Stella is pregnant with my child and I am quite worried about the ways that this is going to negatively impact my life and I need to know that my life isn't over and that I have options' was an answer that Audrey would like so much, so he settled on an answer that would satisfy her and avoid the question.

"Well you haven't exactly been approachable lately and I've been thinking, taking a lot on board about myself, and I've come to some conclusions and I'd like to talk to you about them." It was true. The news that Stella was having his baby had forced him to think about a lot of things. It was like he had taken a step back and was being forced to look at his life and examine it in detail, asking himself the same question over and over again: is this really what I want?

* * *

Stella found her day to be quite tedious. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy her job, she loved being a part of TR, her time as a uniform had reminded her of that, but she just had other places that she would rather be, specifically back in her house with Michael earlier that day. The teasing, the mucking around, it had been just like old times. Stella missed those days.

While Stella was walking through the building she found herself thinking about all the things she still had to do. Sure, she had told Michael and that was a huge weight off her shoulders, but there were still so many things that needed to be done. She had appointments to arrange and God knows what else, she was definitely no pregnancy expert. She briefly wondered if she should get one of those books on pregnancy before almost immediately dismissing the idea. It just wasn't her style.

Finally the siege ended and the officers of Tactical Response made their way back to base, tired and ready to go home. It had been a long siege, Stella was just glad that she had not been stuck there from the beginning, now that really would have been a long day. She believed that the total time was something close to thirty-three or thirty-four hours. But it was over now and she was finally able to get back to base and have a much needed shower.

Stella stood in the shower cubicle, running her hands through her hair, letting the warm water soothe her tired muscles and wash the day's dirt and grime from her. It had been a very long day. She heard the door of the stall next to her close, followed by the sound of undressing and then the steady stream of water as the shower was turned on. A soft humming came from the cubicle next to her and Stella immediately knew who it was.

Turning off the water, Stella stepped out of the shower before drying herself and dressing. As she pulled her clothes on, the humming became louder and soft murmurs of lyrics were mixed in with the tune.

"Shut up, Michael. No one wants to hear you singing," she teased as she walked across the room. Michael's response was to sing louder, doing so just to spite her.

Moments later, a towel came flying over the top of the cubicle door, hitting Michael through the shower curtain. Stella would deny having thrown it of course, but in a room that was empty other than Michael and Stella, the list of suspects was quite short. Stella laughed at the loud protest that came from the shower, only to find that the volume of Michael's singing had increased again, purely to annoy her. Shaking her head, Stella walked out of the room, leaving Michael to his own devices.

Soon after, Kerry appeared in the locker room where Stella and the rest of the gang, minus Michael, were gathered, collecting their things and preparing to leave for the day.

"Before you guys go, I need to talk to you all," Kerry announced. "Say in about ten minutes." The team all agreed before Kerry walked out again. Stella wasn't too worried about what Kerry might want; she often held debriefings and others of the sort at times like this. She was more annoyed than anything, frustrated that the day was being prolonged.

Stella walked back through to the shower room where she found Michael pulling his shirt on.

"Done practicing for your next musical?" she asked, referring to his singing.

"Huh?" he asked, the joke going straight over his head in his distracted state.

"Huh?" Stella imitated, smiling as she teased him, before revealing her reason for returning. "Kerry wants to talk to us in ten."

"K," Michael responded. He didn't mean to be short with her. It just came out that way. He had a lot on his mind. He thought back to his conversation with Audrey. He had jokingly told her that by the time the siege ended they would both be past child bearing age. That was the moment that it really sunk in. Apparently fate had chosen now as his child bearing age. It worried him. He knew what he wanted out of life and Stella and a baby were high on that list, but that had been for the future, he just didn't want to miss out on any opportunities. To Michael, getting older meant doors closing on him and that was something that he was not ready to deal with yet.

* * *

Stella used the time before Kerry's meeting to call the doctor, where she set up an appointment for an ultrasound. Suddenly it all seemed real. Sure, the news had sunk in over the past few weeks. The vitamins that she had been given at the hospital were a constant reminder, yet somehow she felt as though an ultrasound would make it all the more real.

The sound of the door opening as Michael walked into the room brought Stella back from her thoughts. The others had already gone to meet Kerry, leaving Michael and Stella alone. Stella felt like she should tell him. She had no idea how much he wanted to be involved in this pregnancy and now would be the perfect time to test the water.

"Hey, Michael," she called almost nervously. "I'm going for an ultrasound in two weeks. Do you want to be there for it?" Michael paused for a moment, obviously deliberating her words, judging by the look on his face.

"Yeah, of course. I'll be there," he said, sounding tentative at first and then surer of himself near the end. Stella felt relief wash over her. She hadn't realised that she had been this nervous about his reply. She felt a lot better now that she knew he would be there with her for the ultrasound.

"Great," she replied, not quite sure how to responded, before walking out of the room to where Kerry was probably waiting for them.

As she suspected, Kerry was indeed waiting, although, fortunately, she appeared to be in a good mood. Stella looked around the room before noticing Leon sprawled out on his chair. She decided to join him and walked across to sit in the empty chair next to him. As she walked, she felt eyes on her. She looked across to the left, noticing that Audrey was watching her like a hawk; her eyes narrowed, brow furrowed and a look of disdain evident on her face. Stella remembered what Michael had said the previous night about Audrey taking a hit out on her. It appeared that he had been right. She held herself taller as she walked, determined to not let the other woman get to her.

Michael entered the room soon after. He looked at Stella and then across to Audrey, glancing back and forth between them. There was an empty seat next to Audrey and a perfectly good desk to lean on next to Stella. He wondered which to pick, each option would have repercussions. In the end he chose neither and went to stand next to Josh. Josh was the safest option.

The first fifteen minutes of the meeting was mostly just a debriefing and, frankly, quite boring. There were suggestion of what could have been done differently and talk of what they would do in similar situations in the future. Then finally Kerry spoke of something that was of interest. Tactical Response was to perform a serious of training exercises out in the bush. It all sounded like fun to Stella, a change of scenery would be nice. Even though she had done similar training exercises before, this still sounded fun and interesting. She was still looking forward to it. After explaining the fine details, Kerry dismissed them, only to call Stella back.

Stella walked over to Kerry slightly anxiously, wonder what she wanted with her. As she made her way across the room, the others began to clear off, some calling out goodbyes as they left and others finishing their last minute duties before leaving too.

"Kerry," Stella acknowledged as she approached her.

"Now, Stella, about this training exercise," Kerry began, her tone hushed, aware that there were others in the room. "If you don't feel up to it in your condition then you can sit it out. It's alright, we have work back at base that you can do and..."

"I'm fine," Stella interrupted, perhaps a little louder than was appropriate. Michael glanced up from where he was sorting through some paperwork. Stella took a deep breath to calm herself. It wouldn't do her any good to get irrational, but this was exactly what she had been afraid of. She didn't want people to treat her differently because of this pregnancy. She was still the same person that she was before she had found out about this baby. She just didn't want things to change.

"I want to go," she continued, sounding calmer than before. Kerry began to protest.

"I can handle myself out there. I will be fine," argued Stella. Kerry didn't look convinced. It was going to be a tough exercise, traipsing though the bush with the possibility of an overnight stay. Sure, Stella's job itself was dangerous, but Kerry didn't want to force Stella into any situations that could harm her or the baby.

"I'll look after her," Michael interrupted, walking over to them and putting his arm around Stella's shoulders, smiling as he did so. "I'll keep an eye on her. Nothing will happen to her with me around."

It was obvious that he had overheard their conversation and wanted to help. He sounded so serious and sure of himself as he spoke. He thought that by offering to look out for Stella, Kerry would agree to let Stella go, thereby leading to a happy Stella. He just wanted to help, but Stella didn't want or need him to look after her. She could look after herself. She alerted Michael to this in the form of a glare sent in his direction. She thought it was more appropriate than childishly stomping on his foot as hard as she could.

Finally Kerry relented, no doubt convinced by Michael's promise to look out for Stella, and Stella was allowed to go on the training exercise, yet Stella found she wasn't as happy about this as she thought she would be. It was happening. People were starting to treat her differently. This was exactly why she was going to wait to tell the others. It was bad enough that Kerry and Michael were starting to treat her differently, but if Josh, Lawson and the others started to do the same, she would surely go insane.

Stella walked down the hallway with Michael just a step behind her. She could tell that he wanted to say something to her, but she just wanted to get out of there. It had been a very long day.

"Bye, Michael," she said as they left the building, hoping that she could avoid a conversation.

"Stel, wait," he said, running the two steps it took to catch up to her. He had hoped that they could do something together after work. He had lots of questions for her, questions that he couldn't answer on his own.

Stella stopped, turning around to face him. As eager as she was to get hone and put her feet up, she didn't want to be rude to Michael. She needed him. She wasn't angry at him, it wasn't his fault that he was so protective, there were girls that even found that trait endearing, but Stella just wanted him to treat her like he normally did. The teasing had been good, the teasing was typical of them, yet the concern and overbearing protectiveness were both things that she did not want. They made her feel as if she was not capable of looking after herself, as though she was weak. She despised feeling weak.

Michael had a hesitant look on his face, like he was about to ask her something but wasn't quite sure what to say.

"We're okay, right?" he finally asked. "Nothing's changed or anything, well aside from the obvious, but are we still... are we going to..."

"Everything's just the same as it's always been," Stella replied, wanting to keep a sense of normalcy, well as much as she could in this situation.

"We're still just... you know," she continued, struggling to give their complicated relationship a name.

"So we're still... us," Michael responded, half stating it and half asking her.

"Yeah, we're still us," answered Stella. She smiled at this name for them. She liked this description of them. It wasn't a description that provided a strict definition of a relationship and it summed them up perfectly. They were just them; Michael and Stella, Stella and Michael. They didn't need labels.

"Bye, Michael," Stella repeated, though this time her words sounded much more cheerful and were said with a smile. After this, she turned to leave, feeling much better than she had before. Things were looking up and there was a nice hot bath at home with her name on it.

Michael left immediately after Stella and made his way home. Suddenly he didn't feel like going out anywhere that night. A nice night at home sounded good to him. On his way home, he decided to stop to get some provisions for the drive home. He was starving; his breakfast had been stolen after all.

* * *

As Michael walked back to his car, a clear plastic bag of food swinging in his hand, he found himself thinking about Stella and what they were exactly. Was this how they were going to be for the rest of their lives, just them, and the baby of course? Were they ever going to change? Would they ever be anything more? Was it his responsibility to do something about this or should he wait for her to make a move? He honestly didn't know.

While he was walking along the strip of shops, something in a shop window caught his eye. He walked over to the window, peering in at the assortment of jewellery that was displayed. There was one piece in particular that stood out to him. It sat proudly in the middle of the display, drawing in Michael's attention. It was simple, yet he couldn't stop staring at it. He briefly considered going inside to enquire about it before dismissing the idea. For a moment he had this great plan of how everything in his life could work out, but he quickly pushed the idea out of his head. It was silly. It was a stupid idea. There was enough in his life that was changing. He didn't need any more complications.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Michael walked into his house and headed straight towards the kitchen where he went in search of some food. The snack he'd had on the way home had barely made up for his stolen breakfast and he was still hungry. He heard footsteps behind him and turned to see his mother entering the room.

"Hi, Sweetie," she said as she walked over to him, standing on her toes to gently kiss his cheek before walking over to the sink. The time when she was taller than Michael had long since passed.

"How was your day?" she continued.

"Alright," he replied, his words muffled as his mouth was full of chips.

"I didn't see you last night," she prompted as she began to busy herself with preparing food.

"Yeah, I was with Stel," he explained as he swallowed his mouthful of food and went in search of more.

"She's a nice girl isn't she," Michael's mother continued, trying to have a proper conversation with him.

"Mhmm," came Michael's response, his head in the cupboard as he looked for something to eat.

"You should invite her over for dinner some time," she continued as Michael resurfaced, his hands full of various snacks. Once again he replied with a non committal noise.

Michael's mother had taking a liking to Stella right from the beginning, a fondness that she had not extended to Audrey. Michael had most certainly noticed his mother's preference for Stella over Audrey. She had been supportive of her son when she had heard that he had split from Audrey, but inside she wouldn't pretend to be too devastated about this news. She had always liked Stella and suspected that what Michael felt for her was a little more than just a simple fondness. It was just so obvious by the way he looked at her.

"Don't eat too much, dinner will be ready soon," she chastitised.

"K, thanks, Mum" he replied as he turned to walk about, kissing his mother on the forehead as he walked past.

As Michael walked towards his bedroom, he thought about the fact that this was how nearly every afternoon had gone since he was a child, minus his mother gushing over Stella of course. He would come home from school, or work now, and his mother would kiss him on the cheek and enquire about how his day at been. It made him realise how little had changed in his home life over the years. But things were going to change soon. Wandering into his room, he realised that he would have to tell his parents that he was going to be a father.

He wondered if his parents would mind having a newborn child in their house. As accommodating as they were, he doubted that they would be too keen on this idea. He felt worry settle in the pit of his stomach. How would they take this news? Would they think that he was too young for this? He wondered if they would think that he was ready for this. Did _he_ think he was ready for this? The thought of telling them seemed all the more daunting now, but it was something that he would have to do. It was time for Michael to mature and take responsibility.

As he sat there, he found himself thinking back to the object that had caught his eye in the jewellery store. Back then it had just been something that had stood out to him, but he had immediately thought of someone when he saw it. There was definitely a certain person that he had had in mind for it. Could this be the answer to all of his problems? Initially he had just brushed off the idea, but now he wasn't so sure about his decision to dismiss the plan anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to my lovely reviewers and everyone who has sent me encouraging messages. It may not seem like it, but every review and message I get in regards to this story actually does help me write. It just reminds me that there are people out there reading and then I write faster because I want to get something posted for you. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, even if it is to tell me that I am evil and heartless (I completely agree, I am evil and heartless which is probably why I'm here cackling over the ending to this chapter). Also, there is a reference to a certain person in this chapter. I am interested to see how many of you spot it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rush.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**We're a good team, Stel – Michael Sandrelli**

The next few days passed without any major dramas for Michael and Stella. They saw each other at work and hung out afterwards a few times as well. Michael continued sending his 4am text messages to Audrey. He wasn't quite ready to burn that bridge, despite the fact that that particular bridge had crumbled long ago. Audrey still wasn't happy with him. He just wanted her to forgive him. He didn't necessarily want to get back together with her, but he didn't want things to stay this way between them. However, first and foremost, Michael's mind was occupied by Stella. There was just so much more between them than there was with him and Audrey.

Throughout this time, Michael found that his thoughts kept returning to the object in the jewellery store. He had walked past it a few times since the first time it had caught his eye. Each time he hadn't been able to resist looking in. It wasn't until Friday morning that he finally plucked up the courage to enter the shop and enquire about it. As he walked into the store, he was greeted by a friendly woman behind the counter.

"What can I help you with?" she asked as Michael approached her. Michael pointed out the piece that he was interested in with an almost childlike excitement. The lady went to retrieve it before placing it on the counter. Michael reached out to pick it up, examining it closely as he did so. It looked even more gorgeous up close. It featured a stunning diamond atop a simple silver band that seemed to shine in the morning light, making it seem all the more beautiful. . It was perfect.

"Is there a special someone that you have in mind for this?" the sales assistant questioned.

"Yeah," Michael replied absentmindedly, unable to take his eyes off the ring. "Yeah there is." He knew exactly who he wanted to get it for. He had a vision of the ring sitting atop her finger and he knew that this was something that he wanted. She would look like a vision of perfection wearing it, not that Michael didn't already think she was perfect.

Michael thanked the lady before leaving the shop. He wasn't going to rush into this. He had a lot to think about.

* * *

Michael arrived at work later that day, still thinking about the ring. As he walked into the locker room, he saw Stella sitting on the bench. He nodded to her in greeting before walking over to his locker, ready to start the day.

"How are you and Michael junior today?" he asked with a cheeky grin as he pulled out his uniform, using his nickname for the baby just to tease Stella.

"Shh," hushed Stella, anxious about the fact that her pregnancy was not public knowledge yet, nevertheless, there was a smile on her face. Michael responded with a smile of his own.

"And we're not calling our child Michael junior," she reminded him. It appeared that Michael was not going to give up on his name suggestion.

The pair continued to dress in silence before Stella spoke again.

"Lawson's still away and Shannon is off sick so it's just going to be us in TR2 today," she announced as they were pulling their boots on. As part of Tactical Response's bid to improve their skills, Lawson was off at a leadership seminar. This coupled with Shannon calling in sick meant that TR was two officers short, leading to smaller teams for the day.

"Alright, I'm driving," Michael responded as he stood up, changed and all ready to go. They would often childishly argue over this when they were working together.

"That's fine because I'm in charge," Stella replied with a smirk, knowing that that fact would annoy Michael. She would consider it payback for him attempting to name their child Michael junior.

"Bullshit, Stel," he argued. During Stella's brief stint with the uniforms, Michael had been promoted to a senior constable and technically was now the same ranking as Stella, a fact that he was glad of and was two seconds away from reminding Stella of. He was not happy that she seemed to think that she was in charge today.

"Kerry's orders," retorted Stella, doing so just to tease him as she walked out to the car. Michael followed behind her, protesting the entire way and insisting that they would both be equal partners for the day.

* * *

The morning was relatively quiet for Stella and Michael. They drove around the city, patrolling the area, and assisted Josh and Christian with a domestic – a woman threatening to hit her husband over the head with a crowbar – before they stopped for lunch.

It was later in the afternoon when things started to get busy. Josh and Christian were off dealing with a case of armed robbery, leaving Michael and Stella well and truly on their own, not that they minded. They were enjoying their time in TR2 together, teasing each other and both insisting that the other was not in charge. It was just like old times.

This was the point that they got the call from Leon. There was a young boy with a gun who had taken his teacher and class hostage. Fortunately for Michael and Stella, the incident had happened at the end of the day, meaning that the school was largely empty aside from teacher and the students in afterschool care. Not so fortunately for them, it appeared that the criminals of Melbourne had chosen that afternoon to go on a crime spree, busying the other units and meaning that it would be a while before back up arrived at the primary school.

When Michael and Stella arrived at the school, they immediately donned their bulletproof vests before making their way inside. Thankfully, as was procedure, the building had been evacuated, leaving Michael and Stella to be led straight through to the classroom by the principal. She anxiously chattered the entire way, babbling on about how she couldn't understand how one of her students could do this and not actually saying anything of importance. She wasn't making much sense, largely due to shock, and was proving to be more of a hindrance than a help. So Michael thanked her and sent her on her way, insisting that they could find their way from there and would be fine. The whole no back up situation was proving to be problematic, but Michael was unwavering in his belief that they could sort this out on their own. He was determined to prove himself.

"Leon we're going to need the schematics of the building, specifically any way in or out of the classroom and any information you've got on this kid," Michael requested as they made their way towards the classroom.

"One step ahead of you, Michael," Leon responded proudly. "Aside from windows, there is only one way in or out of the classroom, namely the door and our offender is one Luke Tyler Kensington. Eleven years old, his father is, or should I say was in the army – died in service nine months ago. His mothers a junkie and has been in and out of rehab for the last two years, leading our Luke to be sent off to stay with various relatives and friends. He's a bright student; he's won nearly every science award or prize that the school has to offer, but he is one damaged kid.

"Thanks, Leon," Michael answered, deciding that this was enough to go on for now, as he stopped outside the classroom.

"I'm going to have a walk around the perimeter and see if I can see anything through the windows," Stella announced before going to do just that. Michael stood guarding the door, making sure that the offender didn't try to make a run for it. Stella returned less than a minute later with her findings.

"There are sixteen hostages in total," she relayed. "Fifteen students and the teacher. The offender is over the other side of the room facing away from the door. He looks calm and the weapon is lowered, so I think that we're alright to enter. I'll negotiate and you provide back up.

Michael nodded and holstered his gun, switching it for a taser. They offender was only eleven after all and they both wanted to avoid using lethal force unless absolutely necessary. They entered the room slowly and as quietly as possible, Michael first, followed by Stella. Michael made his way across to the other side of the room where he would have a better shot at the kid if worst came to worse and he was forced to take action to stop the kid.

"Luke," Stella called as she walked across the room. "Luke, my name is Stella and I'm just here to help you." At her words, Luke instantly spun around, raising his gun and pointing it at Stella before immediately pointing it as his teacher. Michael watched the situation closely, ready to intervene if necessary. An assortment of screams came from the group of children who sat in the corner. They were out of harm's way, but still terrified.

"Luke, I'm concerned about the safety of everyone in this room, so can you put the gun down for me," she continued calmly. Michael watched as Stella walked slowly towards the boy in a typical non-threatening way, ready to act at a millisecond's notice if the boy reacted unfavourably.

"Don't come any closer!" yelled Luke, obviously sensing what Stella was trying to do. "I know how to use this."

"Okay," Stella replied, raising her hands. "Can you tell me what this is about?" Luke looked like he was about to speak before he swallowed, on the brink of tears, and shook his head, overwhelmed by his emotions.

"Well how about we get your classmates out of here," Stella suggested, hoping to reduce the number of hostages. Luke seemed to deliberate this for a moment before shaking his head.

"They need to be here for this," he explained almost desperately, gesturing wildly with the gun as he spoke. "They need to see me get justice."

"Justice? Why do you need to get justice?" Stella asked curiously. This could be the key to ending this situation.

Michael looked around at the occupants of the room. Luke appeared to be close to tears, yet there was a strong sense of determination evident on his features. At Luke's words, the teacher had paled considerable. He was a beefy man with greying hair and looked to be in his early fifties, but what had Michael so perplexed about this man was that he appeared to be just as wary of Michael as Stella as he was of Luke. Then there were the other children. While they did appear to be afraid of Luke, they also continually glanced nervously towards their teacher, as though they were waiting for him to do something. The situation was truly puzzling.

"Guys, I have something that might interest you," Leon announced over the coms. "The teacher that Wonder Boy has hostage took him in for a few months when his mother was in rehab. It looks like he's made a habit of looking after damaged children."

"Why do you need justice, Luke?" Stella repeated, wondering if this had anything to do with what Leon had just said.

"He..." Luke began before pausing, looking fearfully over at the teacher as he took half a step backwards. "He touched me. He hit me. He hits us." At Luke's words the man got an enraged look in his eyes, leading to further screams from the children.

"Why you little..." he yelled as he stood up and launched himself at the boy. Stella was too quick for him though, grabbing him and tackling him to the ground. Luke saw this as his chance to escape and took it, running out the door before Michael could stop him.

"I'll get him," Michael yelled as he ran off after the kid, leaving behind Stella who was restraining the teacher as he yelled out threats and obscenities.

Michael followed Luke through the school and it wasn't long before he had him cornered. Luke stopped running as he hit a dead end and turned around to face Michael, pointing the gun at him in a desperate attempt to get out of this situation.

"Luke, put the gun down," Michael warned, raising his hands and slowly walking towards the boy. After a few moments, Luke lowered the gun, though he still held it in his shaking hands. He didn't appear to resent Michael walking towards him and looked to be scared and lost. Michael heard Stella come up behind him and stop a short distance away, providing cover, yet Michael stayed focused on the child, walking towards him slowly and speaking soft words of encouragement.

When Michael reached Luke, he grabbed the boy's wrist, pointing the gun away and prying it from his limp hand. He dropped the weapon to the ground and kicked it towards Stella who secured it, yelling "clear" as she did so. Luke collapsed against Michael, wrapping his arms around him as the tears began to fall. Michael gently patted him on the head. It was clear that it was all too much for the young boy.

After a few moments of providing comfort, Michael gently pulled Luke from him and handcuffed him. Even though the boy has damaged and clearly a victim in the situation, there was procedure that needed to be adhered to. Following this, he walked the boy outside before handing him off to the uniforms who had finally arrived as back up.

"Poor kid," Michael said to Stella as they walked back to the car. He was quite upset by what he had discovered about that teacher and the young boy. "I can't believe the teacher could do something like that. Don't schools run background checks on their teachers? We are not sending our kid to a public school."

"At least it's over now," Stella responded, Michael's talk of what school they would send their child to making a fresh batch a worry appear. She hadn't even thought about things like this. There was just so much that she still had to think about.

"We got it sorted out in the end," she continued, trying to distract herself from her thoughts. "Lucky we make a good team. It could have been a lot worse."

"Yeah we do make a good team," Michael agreed with a small smile. He was glad that they worked well together. It was something that they would need to be able to do with this baby on the way.

* * *

The pair returned back to base, exhausted and glad that the day was ending. Michael couldn't help thinking about what Stella had said. They did make a great team. He had known it for a while, but today had been a reminder of how good they were together and it wasn't just when it came to work. They were great together all the time, always seeming to know when they other really needed them. It made him think back to the jewellery store. That was when he made his decision. It could perhaps be one of the most important decisions of his life, yet he was sure of his choice. After all, they were a good team.

"Wanna go for a drink or something?" Stella asked as she came to stand next to Michael's locker, leaning up against it and watching his reaction.

"Sorry, I can't tonight. I've got something important to do," he replied, watching as Stella's face fell, before he spoke again. He hated to see her sad. "But hey, my mum keeps suggesting that I invite you over for dinner sometime."

"Yeah well thanks for the invite," Stella replied sarcastically, referring to the fact that he hadn't actually asked her.

"So how about it?" he asked, ignoring her teasing. "Tomorrow at say seven?"

"Sure," Stella replied with a smile. "Tell your mum I'll be there seeing as clearly she's the one that wants me there." She was just teasing him, she couldn't resist it. She knew that Michael wanted her there just as much as his mother did, if not more. This was just his way of playing it cool, yet Stella saw right through him.

"Alright then. Bye, Stel," Michael said, anxious to get out of there and do what it was that he had to do this afternoon. It was of the upmost importance and Michael was eager to get it done.

* * *

Michael was filled with a nervous sort of excitement as he walked down the street towards the jewellery store that he had stopped at at least a dozen times in the last week. He just hadn't been able to get it out of his mind.

"Back again," the sales assistant noted as Michael walked inside the shop. "Made a decision yet?"

"Yup," Michael answered, nodding as he made his way over to the counter. "I'll take the ring."

"She'll love it," the sales assistant responded, having no idea who the intended recipient of the ring was, but knowing that whoever it was would love it. This man obviously cared a lot about whomever he was buying this ring for.

"I hope so," Michael said absentmindedly, quite anxious about what he was about to do.

* * *

Half an hour later, Michael walked into his house, calling out a quick greeting to his parents, before heading straight towards his room. He sat down on his bed and pulled out the ring box. He flipped it open, looking at the sparkling diamond as nervousness filled his body. There was a part of him that couldn't wait to see Stella's reaction, but then there was another part of him that was terrified. He didn't think that he had even been this nervous in his life. He hoped she would say yes.

Michael was proud of himself for doing this. He was taking charge of his life. As he looked around the room, he realised that he had to move out. He had lived in this room for his entire life. There were still things from his teenage years up on the wall. It appeared that this year of Michael's life was all about change. It was time to grow up and move out. That was when Michael made his second life changing decision of the day. He was going to take responsibility for his child and set up a home. He was going to find himself a house.

Closing the ring box with a snap, Michael opened one of the drawers of his bedside table and put the ring inside, keeping it safe until he would see Stella. It was that moment that a knock sounded at the door, followed by his mother entering the room. Michael was glad that he had just closed the drawer. He didn't feel like explaining to her why he had an engagement ring in his possession. There were already enough things that he had to tell her, namely that he was going to be a father.

"How was your day?" Michael's mother asked as she sat down on the bed next to him.

"Good," he replied, sounding distracted as his thoughts strayed to the future. He realised that when he moved out, things like this would no longer be a daily occurrence. He felt a strange sense of sadness at this, leading him to rest his head on his mother's shoulder before wrapping his arms around her waist. He had just realised how much he would miss this. Everything was changing and he was powerless to stop it.

"What's this about?" she enquired, confused by his sudden affection.

"Nothing." he replied, making no move to pull back. "Just love you." He was mumbling and his words were barely audible, yet she heard him.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she gently pushed Michael's hair back from his forehead, something which she had often done when Michael was a child to soothe him. "Does it have something to do with Stella?" She knew. How was it that she always knew?

* * *

"I'll get it," Michael yelled the following evening as the sound of the doorbell rang through the house. He hurriedly stuffed the ring back into the drawer before making his way out to the door. He had been looking at it again. He had hardly been able to take his eyes off it for more than a few minutes since he had bought it.

Michael opened the door to find Stella standing there. A wide grin appeared on his face when he saw her. He couldn't help it. She just did that to him. Suddenly he felt nervous as he realised that this was the first time he had seen her since he had bought the ring.

"You look nice," he commented as Stella stepped inside. Stella raised her eyebrows at him in reply, wondering why he was acting so proper. This wasn't like him at all.

Michael led Stella into the lounge room where he left her to greet his parents, saying that he would be back in a minute. He made his way through the house, stopping to take a deep breath once he was in the safety of his room. He didn't know why he was so nervous. This was Stella after all; he shouldn't have to be nervous around her. Perhaps it was because she had rejected him time and time again and he wasn't sure if he could take another rejection.

For what would have had to have been the hundredth time, Michael pulled out the ring from his bedside table and opened the box. Should he ask her tonight? Yes. He didn't think he would be able to wait any longer. He had to know. He had done his waiting. He had waited for three years now. He had been patient. It was time for him to ask her. He would ask her tonight, but after dinner. He needed time to think of exactly what to say. Slipping the ring box into his pocket, he made his way out to where his parents and Stella were seated. The ring seemed to be heavier than it had felt previously and Michael felt its obvious presence in his pocket.

Michael wasn't sure whether dinner seemed to fly by or drag on forever. On one hand it seemed to take forever and Michael wondered whether he would ever get a chance to get Stella alone, but then on the other hand it seemed to go too fast, leaving him with no time to think of what to say. He was quiet for most of the meal and sat there picking at his food as he tried to think of what to say to Stella. This didn't go unnoticed by the other occupants of the table.

He watched as Stella politely declined his father's offer of a glass of wine for the second time that night. He knew that he should tell his parents that Stella was having his child and he should do it soon. Michael's parents glanced back and forth between Michael and Stella, noticing that something was different between them. Normally when the pair were together, there was constant bickering and affectionate teasing, yet today there was an almost awkward silence between them. Stella made conversation, but Michael remained silent for the majority of the meal, only speaking when spoken to and pushing his food around his plate. It was obvious that something was on his mind.

Dozens of things that could be said ran through Michael's head, yet none of them seemed just right. He couldn't find the words to explain to Stella how he felt about her. He had always struggled with this. He had thought that his feelings for her were obvious, yet it appeared that she was the only one who couldn't see how much he loved her. He knew that he needed to get his words right that night. He didn't think he could handle another rejection from her. That could just be the last straw for him. She had knocked him back time and time again and Michael wondered if one of these days he should take her seriously.

"Hey, Stella, can I talk to you?" Michael said once the table was cleared. "In private." This was it. He could do this.

"Sure," Stella replied, wondering what it was that had him looking so worried.

She followed Michael through to his bedroom, walking inside before he shut the door behind them. Michael was anxious that this conversation wasn't overheard by anyone, least of all his parents. There were just some things that a guy needed to do on his own and proposing to the love of his life was one of them. More than anything, he just didn't want them to overhear if she rejected him. He didn't want their sympathy or words of advice if the worst case scenario happened.. But she wouldn't say no. She couldn't. Surely not now, not after everything they had been through.

"You do realise that this makes me feel like we're about fifteen," she stated as she walked into the middle of the room. "Does your mummy let you have girls in your room?" she continued, unable to resist teasing him. "You're not going to get grounded for this are you?"

"Stella," Michael chastitised, but her teasing had worked, causing a small smile to appear on his face, however, it was soon replaced by worry.

"What is it, Michael?" she asked seriously, genuinely concerned as to why he was acting like this. She knew whenever something wasn't right with him and she knew that now was one of those times. Michael took a moment to compose himself, trying to organise the words in his head into some sort of a proposal.

"Hi," he finally managed to say, this one word the product of his many moments of thinking. He had spent the last half hour planning what to say to her and now he seemed to be incapable of finding the words he needed. This was not like him at all.

"Hello, Michael," Stella replied, hoping that her neutral tone might help relax him. It seemed to do the trick, reminding Michael that this was Stella and he could tell her anything. He just had to relax and the words would come. But the trouble was he had always struggled with putting his feelings for her into words. He knew what he felt and he had always thought that she knew too, yet it appeared that she didn't.

"How are you?" he asked seriously.

"Good," she replied warily. This forced conversation was so unlike them. It was quite obvious why he had always alluded to his feelings before as opposed to coming straight out and saying them. It appeared that talking about his feelings was not one of his strong points.

"And the baby?" he continued as he reached out for her hands, holding them loosely in between their bodies. He was stalling. Stella noticed that he referred to their child as 'the baby' as opposed to Michael junior as he had taken to doing.

"You haven't told them yet have you?" stated Stella, referring to the fact that Michael's parents seemed to be unaware of her pregnancy. Michael shook his head.

"I've been waiting for the right moment," he explained. He wasn't going to admit to Stella that the reason he hadn't told his parents was that he was yet to work up the courage. He would go running headfirst into a dangerous situation at work without a second thought, yet when it came to matters like this, it was a different story. Michael knew from experience that hinting at things was not going to cut it. He would have to come out and say it this time.

"It's not as bad as you think," Stella said, hoping to ease his worry. "My parents were fine when I told them."

"You told them?" Michael asked, genuinely surprised that she hadn't mentioned this before.

"Yup, I called them last week. Having parents that live out of state does have its advantages," she responded with a smile. It had been easier than Stella had thought to tell them. She had phoned them up, blurted out the news and then received their congratulations. They had enquired about the father, and been happy when they heard it was Michael, asked if this was really what Stella wanted and then promised to come down and visit when Stella was due. It was simple really.

"Do you want me to be there when you tell them?" Stella offered. "We could do it together now."

"Nah, I can do it," Michael said, brushing off her suggestion. He was already struggling to find the words to talk to her. He didn't think that he was ready to tell his parents that they would be grandparents on the same night.

Stella didn't think that she had ever seen him this worried. Although, saying that, most of the times that Michael had been genuinely worried were when Stella was in some sort of danger and not there with him. It saddened her to see him like this. She didn't like the fact that she was responsible for his worry, though she didn't know the exact reason for his worry. She presumed he was just worried about telling his parents.

Without saying anything, Stella reached out and wrapped her arms around Michael, pulling him into her chest and holding him close. She knew that if she had asked, he would protest, he always did, liking to appear tough. Yet he wasn't protesting now as she held him in her arms. She was exactly what he needed and they both knew it.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, referring to their situation in general. "How are we going to handle this?"

"I don't know," Stella answered honestly. It was true. She had no idea what they were going to do and the thought terrified her. "We'll get through it somehow. We always do." This was more like them, providing comfort when it was needed and knowing exactly what the other needed. Michael decided that it was time to tell her. The awkwardness was gone and they were back to just being them. So, in true Michael style, he decided to just come out and say it.

"We should get married."


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to my lovely reviewers, even if it did take a while. I thought I'd lost some of you there for a while. I'm sorry for the delay with this chapter. I'll try to get the next chapter posted sooner. I've been suffering from writer's block and sleep deprivation, both are awful on their own and lethal to a story when they're combined, but after a sudden burst of inspiration today I was able to get this written. I can't even keep my eyes open right now, so I have no idea if this makes any sense (all my editing was done in this state too so there will be mistakes).

Anyway, I have some more exciting news. Despite the fact that I have absolutely no free time and have way too many fics on the go at the moment, I have started a new Mella fic. I am going to prewrite some chapters and then post it, although I might post a preview a little earlier.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts. Remember, reviews make me write quicker.

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Rush or any of the characters.

* * *

**Chapter Six**

**I mean it – Michael Sandrelli**

"What?" Stella laughed as she pulled back from Michael.

"I said we should get married," Michael repeated, sounding less sure of himself than he had the first time he had suggested this.

"Michael, we're not getting married just because you knocked me up," Stella retorted, completely dismissing his idea.

"No," Michael interjected, shaking his head, trying to explain that this wasn't why he was doing this. Surely she had to know how he felt about her by now. He thought he had made his feelings obvious. This was something that had been at the back of his mind for some time now. Granted, like the baby, he had planned for it to happen down the track, but in light of recent events he had decided that perhaps bringing it forward wasn't such a bad thing.

"Michael, I'm not going to agree to marry you just because you suddenly decided that it would be a good idea," replied Stella, unknowingly driving the knife in further.

Suddenly the ring felt heavier in Michael's pocket. He wished he had never bought the stupid thing. He wanted to tell Stella that this wasn't just a spur of the moment thing, he had been planning this for a while now, but he said nothing of the sort. It was easier to pretend that this was just an idea he had come up with on the spot. The rejection hurt less that way.

"Yeah, what was I thinking? Just forget that I ever mentioned it," Michael said, forcing himself to laugh, hiding his crestfallen expression from Stella. But she noticed. She always noticed.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Michael was acting quite strange. First he had been quiet and distracted throughout the meal and then he had come up with this ridiculous idea that they should get married. She supposed that the worry from not having told his parents about the baby was getting to him.

"You know what," Michael said, desperate to change the subject. "Let's tell them now."

"Your parents?" Stella asked, surprised by his sudden change in attitude. Michael nodded. "About the baby?" Michael nodded again.

"Why not?" he responded, willing to do anything to get out of this awkward situation.

"Alright, let's tell them," Stella announced, feeling a strange sense of dizziness coming over her, but she pushed it out of her mind.

"Yup, let's tell them," Michael agreed, sounding a lot less confident than he had a moment ago. It had just occurred to him that he might be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. He reached out to squeeze Stella's hand in a comforting gesture, mainly for his own benefit.

"Just give me a sec," he said as Stella began to walk out the door. He rushed over to his bedside table and hastily shoved the ring inside, wishing he could just forget about it. He would leave it there until he decided what he would do with it.

"Ready?" Stella asked as Michael emerged from his room. He nodded and then together they made their way out to where Michael's parents were seated.

Michael's mother and father looked up expectantly as the pair entered the room. It was obvious that Michael and Stella had talked and by the air of awkwardness that seemed to have vanished, it appeared as though they had sorted things out and were back to normal.

"What's wrong?" Michael's father asked, sensing that there was something that Michael and Stella had to say to them.

This was it, the moment that Michael had been avoiding. The words fell from his lips, a mess of explanations and facts. He anxiously waited to see how his parents would react, hoping that they would have a positive reaction. He really wanted their support through this. He was sure that he would need them.

Michael's parents were shocked to say the least. They bombarded Michael with questions about whether or not he was going to be there to support Stella and the child through this. He felt like he was being interrogated, but he replied to each question honestly. He was going to be there for Stella through it all. Despite her rejection, Michael was determined to support her. Sure, when Stella had immediately dismissed his proposal it had hurt, but now Michael as beginning to realise that the proposal wasn't exactly his greatest or most romantic moment. He should have done it properly. Stella deserved that much. She was an amazing woman and Michael knew that she deserved a proposal as special as her, a well thought out proposal that came straight from the heart.

"Are you really ready for this?" Michael's dad asked, bringing Michael back from his thoughts. "Having a child is a big responsibility." This question was directed at both Michael and Stella. Michael's parents were supportive, they just wanted to make sure that Michael and Stella had thought about this.

Michael nodded, he was certain that he would be there to look after this child. Ready or not, he would be there for his kid. Certain of his own thoughts on the matter, Michael turned to Stella for confirmation, seeking out the knowledge that she agreed with him, yet he was met by a dazed look on her face.

"Stel?" he asked in a concerned tone.

His voice sounded distant to Stella, as though he was far away as opposed to right next to her as he was. She tried to reply, to tell him that she was alright, yet words failed her. She wasn't alright. The room began to sway from side to side, the details seeming to fade away. Stella searched for something to hold onto, something to keep her steady, anything that would keep her conscious. Her eyes found Michael's, his gaze full of worry. She tried to focus on his eyes; they were the only constant, the only thing in the room that wasn't drifting from side to side. His eyes were the only things that were helping her to cling onto consciousness. Hewas the only thing stopping her from falling unconscious, without him she would surely have already fallen victim to the darkness.

A wave of light-headedness overcame Stella and she felt her grip on consciousness slipping. She felt her legs weaken and vaguely heard Michael calling her name. She searched for his eyes, knowing they were the only thing tying her to consciousness, yet darkness was setting in around her, cruelly taking her from him. The last thing she felt was a warm embrace as arms wrapped around her, catching her before she could hit the ground. Then everything went black.

Stella awoke seconds later to find that she had been placed down on the couch. Michael had knelt down next to her and was half leaning over her, a concerned expression on his face. Stella made a move to sit up, but was stopped when Michael placed a hand on her shoulder, making her lie back.

"Just stay lying down," Michael prompted, reaching to pull his phone out of his pocket. "I'm just about to call an ambo."

"No," Stella protested, ignoring Michael's hand and sitting up and trying to disregard the dizziness that threatened to overcome her. "I'm fine. I don't need an ambo." Michael didn't seem convinced. He paused, his fingers hovering over the buttons of his phone, deciding whether to believe her or not.

"Really, I'm fine," she continued, swinging her legs off the couch and standing up to prove her point. She wobbled a little, still feeling the effects of her little fainting spell. She reached out, her hand finding Michael's arms to steady herself.

"I'm fine," she repeated, almost as much for her benefit as for Michael's. "I overdid it a little today. I just need some rest."

Michael seemed to deliberate this for a moment. He wasn't sure whether he should listen to Stella or insist on taking her to hospital. In the end he relented after insisting that Stella rest and then go to see a doctor the following day. The last time she had collapsed was still fresh in his mind and he was concerned for her and the baby, but he knew that arguing with her and stressing her out could do more harm than good.

Stella walked down the hallway with Michael hovering next to her, ready to help her if she needed it, not that she would admit to needing it. Stella was to rest in Michael's room. She had considered telling Michael that she would rest at home, but she knew that he would argue and quite frankly, she wasn't sure if she even had the energy to make it home. She had been telling the truth when she said that she had overdone it that day. Some sleep here sounded good, plus she knew that Michael wanted to keep an eye on her. Outwardly she brushed off his concern, yet inwardly it warmed her heart.

Michael pulled the blankets back as Stella climbed into his bed before he placed them back over her, making sure she was comfortable. He promised Stella that he would return soon before leaving her alone. Stella lay there silently. Though she was exhausted, she found that she couldn't sleep. She lay there in a daze, half conscious and not quite asleep, yet not quite awake either. Her eyes were closed, giving her the appearance of being asleep as she lay there.

Moments later, Michael returned with a glass of water for Stella in his hand. He placed it down on the bedside table next to her, glancing down at her resting form as he did so. Sure that she was asleep, Michael opened up the bedside drawer. Continuing with the habit that he had adopted over the past twenty-four hours, he pulled out the ring box, opening it and glancing at the ring again.

In hindsight he was slightly relieved that Stella hadn't taken his proposal seriously, it made the rejection easier and allowed him to believe that he hadn't been serious. The truth was that he had been serious, he had never been that serious about anything before, but the trouble was that it hadn't come off that way. As Michael looked down at Stella, he began to wonder if things would have been different right now if she had said yes. What would be happening right now if Michael had proposed properly and Stella had said yes?

Trying to banish these thoughts, yet failing, Michael undressed and climbed into bed next to Stella. He gently wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her close. His body seemed to mould to hers, as though he had been born to hold her as she lay there, as though his sole purpose in life was to be there for Stella, to care for her, to hold her and look after her. He reached up to gently brush her hair back from her cheek, his fingertips gently grazing her skin as he did so. He observed how peaceful she appeared to be in sleep, how vulnerable she looked. His hand left her cheek before making its way back down her side to rest on her stomach, right where his little son or daughter was growing.

Unbeknownst to Michael, Stella lay awake, feeling as his fingers gently caressed her stomach. She briefly wondered if she should protest, push his hand away and alert him to the fact that she was still awake, before deciding that she liked the feeling. It was almost as though Michael was soothing her and the baby with his touch all at once.

Stella lay there, thinking over the events of the day. There was one particular event that she couldn't get out of her mind. _We should get married. _The words kept playing over and over again in her head. He couldn't have really meant it, she was sure of it. This was just another one of his silly spontaneous ideas. She was right to have said no, he hadn't been serious, had he? Initially Stella had been sure, but now, as he held her in his arms, a seed of doubt had planted itself in her mind and she began to wonder if her first assumption had been correct. She drifted off to sleep with thoughts of the proposal on her mind, safe and warm in Michael's embrace.

* * *

_"Morning, honey," Michael said as he walked into the kitchen, gently kissing Stella's cheek as he moved past her. He was wearing a suit. Stella wondered why he was wearing this. He looked older too, but she didn't have time to ponder upon this as, by the smell of smoke that was wafting through the kitchen, it appeared that something needed her attention. _

_ She turned back towards the stove, seeing that the frying pan was full of a half cooked pancake which was quickly turning black on the underside. She swiftly turned it over, noting that it was salvageable. But why was she cooking pancakes? Shouldn't she be getting ready for work? Were they for Michael? A quick glance to the right told her that they weren't, Michael was standing there with a slice of toast in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. That was when she spotted them: the children. Who were they and what were they doing sitting in her kitchen? It didn't look like her kitchen, yet Stella felt a strange sense of ownership of it and knew that it was, in fact, her kitchen. _

_ Stella looked away from the children, rescuing the pancake from the pan and adding it to one of the plates, turning off the stove as she did so. There were two plates. Two plates and two children. Were the plates of pancakes for the children? A quick glance back at them told her she was probably right. They wore that 'I'm hungry, feed me right now' look that children often sported, the one that Stella had seen on Michael's face many times. _

_ Wordlessly Stella picked up the plates and walked them over to the children, depositing them down in front of them. The older one, the boy, who appeared to be about six, began to eat immediately. The girl, who looked to be about three, looked up at Stella expectantly. She looked down at the plate, noting that the girl was probably too young to cut the food by herself. Stella grabbed the knife and fork, the silly plastic kind that children used, and cut up the food before pushing it back towards the girl, still without a word. She had a feeling that this was something she often did, yet she couldn't remember any specific times she had done this particular chore. _

_ "Alright, I'm off to work," Michael said as he tipped the remains of his coffee into the sink. He walked back to Stella, pressing his lips to hers for a fleeting second by way of goodbye. Stella vaguely wondered why she wasn't going to work too. Surely they should be going together. _

_ "I've got a late meeting, so I won't be back until about seven," he continued. Meeting, what meeting? Stella didn't have any meetings to go to. Surely if there was a meeting at work, she should be going to it too. Then it struck her. Perhaps Michael didn't work with TR anymore, it would explain the suit. Did she still work there? She wasn't so sure anymore and she still couldn't explain why there were children in her kitchen. _

_ "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" the children called as Michael made to leave the room. Daddy, who was Daddy? Was it Michael? It appeared so as Michael walked over to the children, silencing their shouts. _

_ "You behave at school today," he said to the boy as he ruffled his hair affectionately. The boy looked like a carbon copy of Michael, only younger. Stella didn't know how she hadn't noticed the resemblance before. The face, the hair, the eyes, they were all the same. _

_ "And you be good for Mummy today," Michael said as he moved towards the girl, picking her up out of her chair and lifting her high into the air. He watched as she giggled before he lowered her and pressed his lips to her forehead, smiling lovingly as he did so. _

_ There was something strangely familiar about the girl too. It was as though Stella was looking into a mirror as she looked at the girl, a mirror into the past. And Mummy, who was Mummy? All eyes were on her and that was when Stella realised it. She was Mummy. These were her children. She glanced down to find that there was a solid gold band on her ring finger, a wedding ring. She looked back up to meet Michael's eyes, her husband's eyes. These were their children. _

_ "Okay, Daddy's got to go now," Michael finished as he put the protesting girl back in her seat. The boy began to object too and Stella found herself doing the same. _

_ "Wait," she called, speaking for the first time, stopping Michael in his tracks. He couldn't leave her here. He couldn't leave her with these children. She didn't know what to do with them. She could see that the boy was wearing a school uniform. Where did he go to school? And who was supposed to take him there? Was it her responsibility to do this? And what of the girl, who was supposed to look after her? Deep down Stella knew that the answer to this was her, Stella, and it terrified her. _

_ "What?" Michael asked, his eyes reflecting concern as they had so many times before. Stella wanted him to tell her that everything was okay, she needed him to tell her that it would be alright. She needed him there for everything to be okay. _

_ "Mummy," cried the girl, obviously upset and in need of comfort. The child opened her arms wide, looking for a hug, tears falling down her cheeks. Stella supposed that she should console the girl. But why wasn't she calling for Daddy? By the looks of things Michael was a lot better at this parenting thing than she was. _

_ Stella turned back towards Michael, hoping that he would assist with the sobbing child. That was when she noticed that he was gone. Michael had left her alone, all alone with these children. She glanced back down at her hand and noticed that the ring was gone. Michael had left and Stella was alone, left to raise these children by herself._

* * *

Stella awoke with a start, her heart pounding and her breath racing. She glanced around the darkened room, taking in her surroundings. She was in Michael's room, but where was he? Her breathing began to settle as she noticed him sleeping next to her, his chest rising and falling with his gentle breathing. His arm had slipped off her during the night, leaving Stella feeling cold and alone.

The events of the dream replayed in her mind over and over again. The suit. The Children. Michael leaving her. It wasn't the sort of dream that was forgotten by morning. It was the sort of dream that would be agonised over for hours, haunting Stella for weeks to come. Stella knew that she couldn't stay there in bed. She climbed out of bed and gathered her things, quietly so as not to wake Michael. Feeling slightly guilty, she snuck through the house and gently closed the door behind her, making her way out into the early morning.

* * *

When Michael awoke, his first thoughts were of Stella. His hands searched the empty sheets next to him, his brain not fully awake. But one thing was for sure, Stella was not there. Immediately his mind came up with all sorts of possibilities. Had something happened to her during the night? He was supposed to be taking care of her and now he had no idea where she was or if she was okay.

He climbed out of bed and made his way through the house, searching for her, yet she wasn't there. She was gone. He hastily grabbed his phone, dialling Stella's number. He paced anxiously, waiting for her to pick up. What if she was in hospital, would she have her phone with her there? What is something serious had happened and he didn't know? He should have payed more attention to her after her she fainted. Eventually she answered and Michael mentally sighed with relief. He had been genuinely worried.

"You left," stated Michael, a touch of hurt leaking into his words. He supposed that this was how Stella had felt when he had left without a word that morning not so long ago. He felt guilt settle in his stomach as he remembered that time.

"Yeah I had to leave," she answered shortly, not wanting to explain the real reason she had left. She didn't feel like explaining her dream to him.

"Are you alright?" he asked, pushing his hurt to the back of his mind. "Because last night you..."

"Michael, I'm fine," she interrupted, her words sounding a little harsher than she had intended them to.

"Are you going to see a doctor?" he pushed. She had promised to do this after all.

"I'm fine," she repeated testily.

"But, Stel," Michael protested. He didn't want to hassle her, but he was genuinely concerned for her and the baby.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Michael," Stella cut in, wanting to end this conversation before Michael could ask any more questions.

The line went dead and Michael was left alone with his thoughts. He wanted to believe that Stella was okay and he didn't want to nag at her, but at the same time he couldn't stop the worry that consumed him.

* * *

Michael decided to use the rest of the day to work on his new plan, the one where he would move out of home. He sat on the couch, his laptop situated on his legs, and began to browse for houses. He started off looking for rental properties. There were a few options, but he wasn't too keen on throwing his money away on rent, so he found himself looking at houses that were for sale. That was when he found it. It had two bedrooms - a bedroom for him and one for the baby - it was close to work and close to schools for when the child grew up. It was perfect. Michael knew that this was it, his future home. He could see himself living in it already. There was just one problem; he would never be able to afford it on his own.

He just had to find someone to buy it with him. He would say that it was a good investment. Together they would buy it, Michael would live in it – though perhaps he would omit this piece of information until a later date – and then ten years or so down the track they would sell it and split the profit. The trouble was finding someone to do this with him. His first thought was Stella, but he didn't think she needed the extra stress on top of the baby. That was when it hit him. Shannon. He would sell the idea to her as an investment opportunity.

Pulling out his phone again, he dialled Shannon's number. When she answered, he asked to meet him for coffee later, saying that there was something important he needed to talk to her about. He eager to get this sorted out, keen to have a place of his own. She agreed, curious as to what he might want, they didn't see each other that much outside work, especially just the two of them.

Michael shut his laptop with a satisfied smile. Things were happening in his life. He found that he wasn't as upset about Stella rejecting his proposal as he had been before. He would wait and ask her when the time was right, whether that be a year, two years or even five years later. He would wait. He would wait until she was ready, until _they _were ready. But first he would show her that he was serious, he would prove it to her, starting by moving out of home and taking responsibility for his life and this baby. He had never been more serious about anything in his entire life.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry for the delay. I have been dealing with uni, injured horses and a very important horse show that I had to get ready for. But the chapter is done now after some serious editing. It was shocking when I first wrote it which is why it took so long. I am going to try and get the next chapter posted soon, although I can't really give any guarantees on when that will be because I have started it and it is not cooperating with me at all. It is killing me to write it. You'll understand why when you read it.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed. You'll probably hate me after this chapter. If you don't hate me after this chapter, you'll hate me after the next one. I would still love to hear your thoughts though.

As promised, I have rewritten the night in the bush from the murdered sheep episode to include some Mella (as it should have had). If you haven't already seen episode 315 and 316 you should. I reference them a bit in this chapter, but don't go into great details, so it might be a little confusing if you haven't seen them.

Also I have just started a new Mella fic called **Close Personal Protection**. The prologue is up and I am aiming to have the first chapter up soon.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rush or any of the characters or any of the occasional lines that I borrow.

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

**I've been thinking, taking a lot on board about myself and I've come to some conclusions and I'd like to talk to you about them – Michael Sandrelli**

The following day Stella made her way into the locker room at work, eager to start the day. It was the day of the training exercise and she was looking forward to getting out of the city. Michael appeared at her side within seconds of her entering the room. He leant against his locker, watching her, almost as if he was waiting for her to speak first.

"Good morning, Michael," she said, almost teasing him with her formality.

"How are you today?" he asked, concerned after her little fainting spell the previous day.

"I'm fine," she replied, getting rather sick of repeating these words.

"Did you go to see the doctor?" he continued, not willing to let this go. He was genuinely worried about her and the baby and wanted to make sure that they were both okay.

Stella paused for a moment, deliberating how to respond to this. In reality, she had not gone to the doctor. She felt fine now and had done since her rest. She was scheduled for a doctor's appointment in a couple of days' time and would get checked out then. She didn't feel that it was necessary to panic and rush to the doctor.

"Yes, I did," she lied. The lie was effortless. The words fell from her lips so easily. It surprised her how easy it was to say this. When had she started lying to her best friend?

"Good," he responded, satisfied with her answer. He seemed to accept the lie which was a relief to Stella. She didn't feel like debating this now, or ever to tell the truth. Yet it appeared that the truth was something that Stella was not acquainting herself with that day.

Stella heard the sound of people entering the room. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Michael hastily look away from her, busying himself with something inside his locker, pretending that he hadn't just been talking to her. Stella found this quite strange. It wasn't exactly a secret that they were friendly. He had never had any trouble being around her in public before. She glanced over her shoulder to see that one of the people who had entered the room was Audrey. Their eyes met and identical looks of distaste clouded their faces before they both looked away.

"Michael," Audrey spoke up. Michael snapped his head around, almost as if he was trying to respond to her as soon as was physically possible.

"Yeah," he replied eagerly, waiting for what she had to say. Stella frowned, pretending to be occupied with something in her locker. There was a part of her that wanted to know what they were about to say to each other. It wasn't exactly a private conversation, there were others in the room, and so she wasn't technically eavesdropping.

Audrey walked over to them, positioning herself in the limited space between Michael and Stella, almost as if she was trying to come between them on purpose.

"You left out a few things in your case report from the other day, so I thought I would bring it to you," she said, turning to face Michael and holding out the form in question.

"Oh, whoopsy," Michael replied, taking the form and pen from her and filling in the necessary things.

"So how have you been?" he asked as he wrote, sounding almost anxious about her reply.

Stella turned to raise her eyebrows at Michael, wondering why he was acting so strange, before turning back to her locker, shutting it with a loud bang. She couldn't stand to be in the room with them any longer. She couldn't decide whether it was the awkwardness that hung in the air or the sickly sweetness of their pleasantries that was making her want to throw up. All she knew was that suddenly the room seemed to be too small.

Without a word Stella turned and left the room, leaving Michael and Audrey to continue with their conversation. She made her way out to where the vehicles waited, deciding that the time when they would leave could not come soon enough. She was eager to get away for a while, even if it was only for a few hours on a training exercise. A change of scenery would be good for her.

* * *

Stella could have killed Michael. Here they were -they being Michael, Stella, Shannon and Christian - out in the bush as the sun went down, all because it appeared that Michael had developed an infatuation with sheep. It was ridiculous, although, Stella had to admit that she was keen to pay this guy a visit. She just wished that this could be done without spending the night out there.

While completing the navigational part of their exercise, they had happened upon a handful of strange things, among them a trap that had nearly killed Michael and had destroyed their compass, the head of a sheep impaled on a stick, the body of said sheep, another dead sheep and a live one to which Michael had taken a liking. Upon discovering that the man responsible for these things resided not too far from them, they had decided to stay the night and visit him in the morning to discuss why he felt the necessity to behead sheep. Michael in particular wanted to talk to this guy. He was not happy with the things he had witnessed that day.

In true Michael style, Michael had forgotten the majority of the things he would need to spend the night out in the bush. He had begun to attempt to scrounge some things to no avail. When that failed, he began to try to convince everyone that he had some sort of extra special accommodation out there.

"I've got my own shit going on right here," Michael announced to Christian as he set up what little things he had there. Stella wondered if he was trying to make them jealous. It almost sounded as if he was. She supposed that this was Michael's way of attempting to deal with the promise of a long and cold night.

Stella continued to arrange her things, ignoring the sounds of Shannon saying that they weren't allowed to build a fire and Michael's protests that followed. This wasn't exactly what she had had in mind when she had said she wanted a change of scenery. It was safe to say that a few hours of this would have sufficed. An entire night really wasn't high on her list of things she wanted.

"We're not eating the sheep," Michael said indignantly, causing Stella to pay attention to what was being said as opposed to drowning it out as she had begun to do.

"It's a sheep," Christian reasoned, not seeing what the problem was.

"It was murdered," Michael retorted, his disgust evident. "You don't eat murdered sheep."

"What?" Christian replied, saying what they were all thinking.

"Who are you?" Michael asked seriously, as though this revelation was making him question everything he had thought he had known about Christian and even life in general.

Stella wasn't sure if she should laugh or not. His words almost sounded like an overreaction, yet at the same time the fact that he had such strong morals was kind of endearing. It was obvious that he cared a lot.

They ate a dismal meal of protein bars seeing as they weren't allowed to eat the sheep – its corpse now had a new body guard in the form of Michael Sandrelli. Although Stella had to admit that she probably wouldn't have eaten the sheep, even if it had been on the menu. With nothing to do but wait until the sun rose, the members of Tactical Response decided to retire early.

Less than two minutes after they had said their good nights, just as silence had fallen over them and the sky was beginning to darken, Stella heard the sound of a rustling, like a body moving across the ground, followed by a voice in her ear.

"Stel," Michael whispered. "Stel, are you asleep?"

"Yes, Michael, I'm asleep," she replied sarcastically, just as quietly as him so as not to wake the others. They both fell silent and a minute or two passed before Michael spoke again.

"Stella."

"Yes, Michael," she responded, waiting for him to just come out and say the words that she knew were coming.

"It's cold," he stated, as though Stella herself had not noticed this.

"Yes it is," she replied.

Stella rolled over, seeing that Michael had moved closer to her and was lying on his side with his head propped up by his arm. There was a pout on his face. He was turning to her for help and for warmth. Stella could have sworn that he was giving her puppy dog eyes. Unable to resist that look, she lifted up her blanket to welcome him over. Michael hastily scooted over closer to her, cuddling up next to her under the blanket. He made a small noise of contentment as he snuggled up next to her, wrapping his arm around her waist. His cold hand brushed against her skin, sending a shiver down her spine, causing him to pull her closer in response.

"You okay?" asked Michael. Stella noted that he had been asking this a lot lately. His voice was soft in her ear, too quiet for the others to hear, just for her. His thumb was gently brushing over her arm, repetitively, almost like he wasn't aware that he was doing this.

"I'm fine. Are you alright?" she asked, wondering how he was after his little tumble with the trip wire earlier.

"Yeah, I'm good," he replied with a smile. And in that moment he was.

* * *

The following day was long and arduous, filled with bombs, hostages and, tragically, the death on an ex colleague. The death of Dominic Wales had shaken them all, reminding them of the job and their mortality. They had stayed after work, drinking to Dom and sharing their memories of him. It was a sad affair, but it was nice to remember Dom, to remember the times before everything had gone downhill. Dom had been a good colleague and they had many memories of him. Before the officers of Tactical Response parted for the night, they had shot their guns into the night sky. It was their way of paying respect to Dom's memory.

"Wanna come back to mine?" Stella asked as the group began to disperse after Leon had accidently shot a window. "I need a friend tonight."

"Just a friend?" Michael asked dubiously, wondering what it was that she was implying. Stella nodded, prompting Michael's next response. "What are we doing, Stel?"

Stella shrugged her shoulders, wondering how she was supposed to answer this. She was just looking for a friend, seeking out comfort, but Michael was referring to much more than that. He was beginning to question their entire complicated relationship, looking for a definition that Stella could not give him.

"So is that a no?" she asked, trying not to show how much this disappointed her.

"I just need some time alone to think about things," responded Michael.

"Alright," Stella replied, trying not to think too hard about the things that Michael would be referring too. "Are you still coming to my ultrasound tomorrow?"

"Definitely," Michael said as they walked to where their cars were parked. His voice had a hint of excitement that hadn't previously been there. It gave Stella hope.

"We will be able to find out the sex of the baby," she announced, knowing that this would please Michael. She would admit that, as nervous as she was about this baby, she was just a little bit excited about finding out if she was going to have a baby girl or a baby boy.

"Boy. It's definitely a boy," Michael stated confidently. "Michael junior, remember?" He paused for a moment as an idea formed in his head.

"What if it's twins?" he asked, sounding a lot more excited than Stella felt at the thought.

Stella stopped in her tracks as shock came over her. She racked her brain, trying to think of what the doctor has said to her. He had said that she was pregnant, not that she was having _a_ baby. But she couldn't be having twins. Surely she would know if she were.

An image of two young boys, reminiscent of a young Michael, entered her head. They were running around a house, destroying everything in their path and yelling at the top of their lungs. They were followed by Michael who was perhaps creating the most destruction and making the most noise. She yelled at them to stop, but they only ran faster, caused more havoc and screamed louder in response, almost as if they were doing this just to spite her.

"No, I'm not dealing with three children," she argued stubbornly. She hadn't even signed up for one child; she was not going to deal with multiple children.

"Three children?" Michael repeated, confused and wondering if the pregnancy had somehow affected Stella's mathematical abilities.

"Three children: Thing 1, Thing 2 and you." she responded seriously.

"Me?" A look of disbelief appeared on Michael's face as she spoke.

"Yes, Michael," she replied with a hint of a smile. "You're a child." Michael was quite used to Stella calling him a child, it was something she would often say, yet he could never stop the childish pout that would form on his face at these words, almost as if he was subconsciously confirming her words.

Michael didn't see why Stella was so against the idea of having twins. The scenario in his head was glorious. There was Michael, a young dad, receiving the award for father of the year, being congratulated on his excellent parenting. His two children stood in front of him: Michael junior and Stella junior. Both stood there gazing adoringly at their father, each proudly holding a rather large pig over their head. It hadn't been easy, but Michael had coached them through it, getting them both to lift their pigs every single day. And the hard work had payed off. Michael now had two children who could lift really big pigs.

Michael was pulled out of his fantasy as he realised they had reached the car park and that Stella was talking to him.

"So I'll see you tomorrow at one then."

"I'll be there," promised Michael. Unexpectedly Stella reached out to wrap her arms around Michael, needing the comfort of a hug. Without hesitating Michael pulled her into his chest, holding her close.

They stood there for what could have been seconds, minutes or even hours. Stella wasn't sure. Time seemed to pass at a different pace when she was in Michael's arms. Eventually they broke apart and parted ways for the night, leaving with a simple goodbye.

* * *

Stella returned home to an empty house, sad and alone. She placed her keys down on the bench, bringing her head into her hands and letting a lone tear escape. It was a tear for Dom, but also a tear for what her life was becoming. She had never wanted this child. She had been happy with her life, with her job and her friends. She had been happy with whatever she and Michael were, but now it seemed as though she constantly had to make changes that would affect the rest of her life.

She thought back to the previous night and of how Michael had held her in his arms. He had needed her then and she had been there for him. The night before she had needed him and he had been there for her. They had been there for each other. All throughout their time together, they had always been there when the other needed them the most. Yet tonight, when they both needed each other, he had left her alone. Stella couldn't help feeling that he was starting to distance himself from her.

Stella wished that Michael was there with her, she needed him, yet it was apparent that Michael didn't need her the same way that she needed him. She hated that she was becoming so dependent on him, she wanted to be self sufficient, yet she knew that as time passed it wouldn't just be her that needed him, the baby would too. She just hoped that he would be around then, if not for her then for their child.

Deciding that there was no point in staying awake and mulling over the events of the day, knowing it would only bring thoughts of survivor's guilt and sadness, Stella decided to go to bed early. She needed to be well rested for her doctor's appointment the following day. She knew that if there was something wrong she would be hearing about it then and if Michael heard too he would be on her case about it. She drifted off to sleep thinking about everything but the baby, knowing that doing would only bring back the bad dreams.

* * *

Michael drove through the streets without a particular destination in mind, just driving to pass the time. It was late into the night, nearing morning, yet Michael had no desire to return home. He pulled into a car park and turned off the car, just sitting there for a moment. He let his mind drift to what had happened that day. He thought about Dom and the life he had lived. As much as Dom had loved her daughter, her birth was what had started the whole downward spiral. That was what had caused Sandrine's depression and driven Dom to the breaking point. Michael wondered if Dom would still be with Tactical response if this hadn't happened. Would he still be alive?

Michael couldn't help thinking about what this baby would mean for him. Would his life take the same path that Dom's had? He had seen how that story ended and he was not keen on going that way. He felt panic rising in his chest, feeling as though he was stuck on this path. It was a one way street and he was hurtling towards a dead end.

He thought of Dom and how he had cheated on Sandrine. It was wrong and had led to so many problems. It reminded him of his actions that had caused his split from Audrey. He felt immensely guilty about it. Turning his phone over and over in his hands, he thought about what Audrey had said to him earlier that day. _'Can I expect another inappropriately timed message from you tonight?' _Was this how he was going to make things up to her, by sending her a text message every night? It didn't seem like much, but she had said that she liked what they said.

He opened up a blank text message, his fingers poised over the keys, ready to type. There was so much that he needed to say to her. He didn't know how to fit it all into one small message. The truth was that he couldn't fit everything he needed to say into a text message. He had to try a different approach. He began to search through his contacts until he found the number he was looking for and hit dial. He brought the phone up to his ear and waited for it to be answered, hoping that it wasn't too late.

"Hey, Audrey," he said enthusiastically when he heard her sleepy yet still cheerful greeting on the phone.

"This isn't the usual text message," Audrey noted in reply.

"Yeah I'm trying a new tactic," Michael admitted, happy that she had answered the phone, yet still anxious about what she would reply to what he was about to say.

"How that working for you?" she asked, amused by his words. There was a hint of teasing in her tone, almost like how she used to speak to him.

"Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Michael said, bringing a serious tone to the conversation. "I've been thinking about some things and I'd like to discuss them with you." There was silence as Audrey thought over what Michael had just said. Michael waited anxiously, hoping that she wouldn't knock him back.

"Alright, how about we meet for lunch tomorrow at the usual place," Audrey finally answered. Michael smiled, glad that he was getting this second chance to make things right.

"Great, I will see you then," Michael replied before hanging up, happy that he had this opportunity to fix things.

* * *

Stella sat in the waiting room the following day checking her phone for what would have had to have been at least the dozenth time. The doctor was running late and so she had been waiting for about half hour now, yet there was still no sign of Michael. She had called him several times, but had stopped once she realised that she was starting to look desperate. She had texted him many times too. He was either ignoring her or just didn't have his phone on him. She hoped it was the latter.

It was strange. Michael had been so excited about this appointment. He had been looking forward to finding out the sex of the baby, even more than Stella was. It wasn't just Michael though; Stella had been looking forward to having him there with her, seeing an image of their baby, holding her hand. Well perhaps not that part, she probably would have hit him if he had tried to hold her hand or do anything that would suggest that she couldn't handle herself. But it would have been nice to have his support. The waiting room was filled with couples in various stages of pregnancy. It made Stella feel lonely, realising for the first time that she was well and truly alone.

The sound of her name being called caused Stella's mind to return to the present. There was nothing she could do now. If Michael wasn't going to turn up, or at least have the decency to call, then she would have to do this alone. She stood and walked across the room to where the doctor was waiting to lead her into one of the rooms.

"The father isn't joining us? the doctor asked as they walked down the hallway. Stella glanced down at her phone again, checking one last time to see if Michael had returned any of her messages.

"No, he can't make it," she responded upon seeing that Michael had made no attempt to contact her. Some father he was turning out to be. With a heavy heart she made her way into the doctor's office, finding herself becoming less and less enthusiastic about this baby and everything to do with it. She felt more alone than she ever had before in her life. It was just her and this little life form that was growing inside her now. She was being left to deal with this baby on her own. Her worst fears were coming true.


	8. Chapter 8

So, I'm back. I am so sorry for making you all wait so long. I just got super busy with work, uni, adventuring and lots of other things. Then this chapter was a pain to write because Audrey was annoying me. I was also struggling because I wanted to write a decent Mella filled chapter, yet I was at the wrong part of the story to do this. Hopefully what I've written is enough to give you your Mella fix though. I've written most of my plan for the next chapter and I have a pretty good idea of where it's going to go, so hopefully it won't take me too long to write. I will get it posted as soon as possible.

Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Reviews make me very happy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rush or any of the characters or the little bit of dialogue that I have borrowed.

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

**I thought I picked you better – Audrey Khoo**

"Hi, Audrey," Michael said, standing up as Audrey entered the cafe and walked over to the table where he was waiting. Michael hadn't been waiting long; he'd had just enough time to find a quiet table for them and to begin to think about what he was going to say to her.

Audrey replied with a cheerful greeting as she sat down across from him. Michael smiled at her, glad that she had turned up. There had been a part of him that had genuinely thought that she might have stood him up. He probably wouldn't have blamed her if she had. He knew that he wasn't exactly her favourite person after what he had done.

After Audrey sat down, they picked up the menus and looked at the selection of food, making small talk about what looked good. It was their way of trying to overcome the initial awkwardness. Ten minutes later they had ordered and were ready to talk, well at least Audrey was.

"So you said that there were some things you wanted to talk to me about," Audrey spoke up, trying to get Michael to say what it was that he had come here to say. She was genuinely interested in what he had to say. She wouldn't have turned up if she wasn't.

"Right," Michael replied, mentally preparing himself for what he was going to say, sorting out the thoughts in his head. "I just wanted to say that what I did was wrong, and I'm sorry. I feel really bad about it."

"I thought you were better than that, Michael," answered Audrey, her hurt obvious. "But I guess I can forgive you and move on."

Michael smiled, glad that he was getting this second chance. He knew it wasn't going to be easy to get Audrey to forgive him and had been trying to achieve just this for many weeks now, yet she had forgiven him sooner than he thought she would. He had expected her to make him apologise more, yet it appeared that she had no desire to do this. It was almost like it was meant to be.

Michael's phone buzzed on the table where it sat; alerting him that he was getting an incoming call.

"Do you need to get that?" Audrey asked, gesturing that he should do so.

"Nah," he said, brushing off the suggestion as he rejected the call before even looking at the number. He didn't want to ruin things now that Audrey was actually talking to him. He switched his phone to silent to avoid any more interruptions, turning his full attention back to Audrey.

Michael's phone continued to receive an assortment of calls and texts, yet they went unnoticed in the phone's silent state. Michael and Audrey continued to talk as they sat there; falling back into old habits much easier than Michael had thought they would. There was a sense of familiarity about it, yet at the same time it was something different, a change that Michael welcomed.

Audrey and Michael stayed talking well into the afternoon, much later than Michael had intended. Eventually they parted with a slightly awkward kiss on the cheek, and it was only then that Michael pulled his phone from his pocket to find the numerous missed calls from Stella. It was that moment that Michael remembered the doctor's appointment. He was supposed to be there. He had been looking forward to it and he suspected that Stella had been looking forward to him being there too.

Michael checked his watch; the appointment would be well and truly over by now. He felt guilt settle in his stomach at the realisation. Stella was going to be pissed with him. He tried calling her back, but there was no answer. She was angry at him, it was obvious. Michael considered going over to Stella's place to talk to her before discarding the idea. It would be best to give her some space. He would talk to her the next day at work. Hopefully by then some of her anger towards him would have faded.

* * *

Stella sat alone glaring at her phone. There was one missed call, one attempt at contacting her. It didn't really seem like much of an effort in light of the situation. She hadn't expected this. She thought that he was better than this. She had actually expected him to stay true to his word. He was always there when she needed him, yet he wasn't there now. Once again, she found herself facing the truth that she was alone in this situation. Michael could walk away from it, but she was stuck. Suddenly she felt as though she was trapped. She couldn't do this alone, she wasn't even sure if she could do it at all.

* * *

Stella was dreading work, or to be specific, she was dreading seeing Michael and hearing his pathetic excuses for why he had stood her up and why it was too difficult to pick up the phone and tell her he wouldn't be there. As she walked into the locker room, she hoped that she would find it empty so that she could have some time alone before the rush of the day started. She very nearly got her wish. The locker room was empty aside from Michael who sat on the bench tying his shoes. Of course, this was this was just as bad as the locker room being full as Stella knew that Michael would try to talk to her. In reality she wasn't ready to forgive him yet for missing the appointment, and she knew that she would probably say something she would regret if she was forced to talk to him. She couldn't trust her emotions at the moment. She just hoped that he would let her get changed in peace. She didn't want to deal with him now, she was too hormonal. Yet it appeared that her wish would not be granted.

"Hey," Michael said casually upon noticing Stella entering the room. He was acting as if nothing had happened. Stella gave him a cold nod in return before turning to her locker. She heard the sound of Michael getting up and walking over to stand by her, yet she chose to ignore him.

"How did the appointment go?" Michael asked. Stella couldn't believe that this was his opening line. It was like he thought that she wouldn't even care that he stood her up and had not even bothered to let her know or tell her why.

"Oh so you did remember," Stella retorted, her tone harsh and unforgiving.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I got caught up," Michael replied in a tone which, in Stella's opinion, was much too casual and insincere. She scoffed in reply, unable to believe that this was the best explanation he had to offer. A look of confusion fell over Michael's face. He didn't know why Stella was acting this way.

"What?"

"I was just curious about where you were that was more important than..." she trailed off, gesturing to her stomach. She might have just been being paranoid, but Stella was sure she was beginning to show. Josh, as he often did, had made a couple of disparaging remarks about her putting on weight. Ordinarily she would laugh off these comments and reply with some sort of similarly affectionate insult, yet this time she had found herself becoming increasingly paranoid that she was showing and would have to tell people. She wasn't ready to tell everyone yet, that would just make it all the more real.

"Oh I was with Audrey," Michael responded casually. This was clearly the wrong thing to say judging by the look that Stella gave him.

"Are you two back together now or something?" she asked, not seriously believing that such a thing could happen. Surely they couldn't get back together after everything that had happened, but it appeared that Stella was wrong.

"I don't know, maybe," Michael replied truthfully.

Stella couldn't believe that Michael was doing this after he had said he would be there for her. Sure, they weren't exactly together, but she hadn't expected Michael to go off with someone else, least of all Audrey. She was sure that that relationship had ended and was well and truly over. To be honest, she hadn't spent much time thinking about her and Michael's romantic situation, but she had just assumed they would just continue on as they were; not strictly together, yet not exactly apart either. There was too much that was changing. She didn't need any more change.

Deciding that she had had enough, Stella turned to leave. She would deal with Michael later when she was in a better mood or, even better, when he decided to grow up and take responsibility for his actions. Yet it appeared that Michael was not going to let her go that easily.

"Stella, wait," he called, stopping her just as she was about to make her escape. Stella spun around to face him, her stare cold and hard.

"What, Michael?" she asked. Her tone was harsh, yet she didn't regret it one bit. Now was the time for an apology or at least a promise from Michael that he would do what he had said and be there for her, yet it appeared that Michael had more pressing concerns on his mind.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" he asked seriously. Stella could not believe it. Of all the things he could say to her, he chose this. Sending him a dark look, she turned and left the room. If he was so desperate to know the sex of the baby, then he should have been at the appointment.

The truth was that Stella didn't even know. The first question she had asked during her appointment was if it was too late to terminate the pregnancy. It was. Stella found she was actually quite disappointed by this news. Now that Michael had made it clear that, despite his words, he would not be there for her when she needed him, Stella had come to realise that she didn't want to do this alone. She couldn't. Seeing Michael as a father had been the only really good thing she could think of about this situation, but now she knew that Michael only saw fatherhood as a part time job. She wasn't cut out for motherhood. She would have to look at other options.

After discovering that there was no turning back and she was stuck with this baby, the doctor has asked if she wanted to know the sex of the baby. Initially, she had been quite curious about this, she was interested to know whether she was carrying a baby boy or girl, and Michael had been very enthusiastic about it, yet now that she was alone she found she didn't want to know. Knowing would make it all too real for her. This was the sort of thing that she and Michael were supposed to do together. She couldn't do it alone.

* * *

It wasn't until later that day that Michael managed to get Stella alone again. He was anxious to talk to her and eager to find out about the baby, yet Stella was not willing to share. He should have been there.

In reality, Stella should have known that this would happen. Her relationship with Michael had never been particularly consistent, yet he had always been there when she really needed him. That was obviously changing though. As loath as she was to admit it, Stella was scared. She was scared of trusting Michael again. He had let her down, and not just once. Over the years she had learnt that she could depend on him when it counted, they were there for each other when they really needed it, yet it looked like all that was changing now.

"Stel, wait," Michael called, chasing after her as she tried to escape down the hall. "Talk to me."

"What do you want me to say, Michael?" Stella retorted. If anyone had to do some talking, it was Michael. He had a lot of explaining to do.

"Just tell me, is it a boy or a girl?" His voice was hushed and it was obvious that he didn't want to be overheard, something that Stella was glad of. There was a sense of urgency to his tone and his eyes kept flicking around. It looked as though he was waiting for something and his attention was focused on something else. If Stella was just an afterthought, a stop on the way, then she wasn't going to admit to him that she hadn't found out the sex of the baby. She would let Michael continue on in the dark. He deserved it.

Moments later, Stella's suspicions that Michael was waiting for something or someone were confirmed as Audrey walked into the room. Stella noticed a change in Michael's demeanour immediately. He took half a step back, almost as if he was trying to distance himself from Stella and pretend that he hadn't been talking to her. Stella noticed that there was a smile, albeit an overly friendly and strained one, on Michael's face that he had not previously worn. It was a contrast to the tense atmosphere that had just increased tenfold with the arrival of Audrey.

"Are you ready to go?" Audrey asked. Michael quickly glanced over at Stella, noting her unfriendly glare, before nodding to Audrey and leaving with her without a word. As she watched them leave, Stella noted that suddenly Michael didn't appear to care about the sex of the baby. It was as she had suspected, he only saw her and the baby as a part time thing, something he could pick up and put down whenever the mood struck. Well Stella was not okay with that. She would not stand for it.

* * *

The next few days were busy for Michael. Between work, Dom's funeral and organising everything for the house he was buying with Shannon – they had finally managed to find a suitable one and agree on a price - he managed meet Audrey outside work a couple of times. He had tried to spend some time with Stella too, yet she was still acting cold towards him. He didn't know why she was being like this. She was the one who was keeping the sex of the baby from him. He had a right to know. It was just as much his child as it was Stella's, yet it wasn't until a few days later that Michael realised just how much he wanted to be a father.

Michael and Shannon had been given the task of transporting a baby that was being taken from its mother. Everyone was in disagreement about whether or not this was the right thing to do, but they had a job to do. Michael immediately jumped at the chance to take the baby, eager to test out his parenting skills. Shannon wanted nothing to do with it, shying away from it, and so Michael stepped up to take care of it.

Shannon drove while Michael sat in the back with the baby, talking to her and making sure she was okay. As he watched, he realised that in a few months he would have a baby of his own. He wondered if he would have a girl like this one. He would like a daughter. He knew he would be happy whether the baby was a boy or a girl, but now that he was sitting here with this child he realised that he would really like a daughter. She would be daddy's little girl. Michael would love her and take care of her, and he would make sure that no harm ever came to his baby girl.

"Check this out, I think she likes me," he spoke, excited that things were going so well with this baby.

"Yeah babies like all funny looking things," Shannon retorted as she glanced at him in the rear view mirror.

"I think I'd be a great dad," Michael spoke out loud, half saying it for his own benefit.

"That's a bit of leap, you're still living with your folks," Shannon replied.

"Exactly, I understand the value of family," Michael explained, slightly insulted that she didn't share his opinion, but her words weren't going to get him down. He knew that he would be a fantastic dad for his child. He would make sure of it.

Shannon and Michael continued to talk about children and parenting as they drove. It struck Michael as strange that they were having this conversation and Shannon has absolutely no idea that he was to be a father soon. He was almost tempted to tell her, just so she would realise that he was serious about this, yet he knew that Stella didn't want everyone at work knowing yet. She had to tell them some time, but Michael guessed that she was putting it off so she wouldn't have to deal with them treating her differently.

"It'll be okay," he spoke to the baby, half for his own benefit, before he spoke to Shannon again, "It's wrong to take a child from its mother."

"Michael, you know the story, it's not right for a child to grow up in a family like that," Shannon answered. She could see that Michael was already getting attached to this baby.

"But what about the dad?" he continued, surely there had to be a way for this baby to live with some of her family.

"He wasn't even there," Shannon replied with a hint of disdain.

Her words seemed to strike something inside Michael, yet he wasn't sure what. The words didn't sound right. The father should be there. It wasn't until many days later that he realised that perhaps the reason that the words had had such an impact on him was that they were reminiscent of his situation.

If there was one thing that spending time with the baby had made Michael realise, it was that he definitely wanted this child. He was more determined than ever to be a good father. He would be there for his child. But he was being shut out. His baby hadn't even been born yet and Stella was already shutting him out of its life. It wasn't right for her to keep stuff like this from him. It was his baby too.

* * *

Michael tried to track Stella down several times over the course of the next week. Each time she would either refuse to tell him about the baby or try to avoid him. It was getting ridiculous. After a week of avoidance, Michael decided that it was time to put his foot down.

It was late on Friday evening, and the team were just leaving their last incident of the day. It had been a long day – especially for Leon who had had to deal with double the work load as Audrey had taken the day off – and everyone was well and truly ready to go home. Stella thought she had successfully managed to avoid Michael's questioning once again, that was, until he managed to corner her by the vehicles.

"Stella," he called as he walked over to her. His face was grave, a mark of how serious he was. Stella glanced around, hoping to find something that would give her an excuse to get out of there, yet there was no escape.

"What?" she asked, accepting that she was going to have to hear him out.

"You have to talk to me," he replied, sounding almost as if he was begging. He just wanted her to share this with him.

No, Michael, I think you'll find I don't have to do anything with you," she snapped, sending him her dirtiest glare. But Michael wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Stel, don't shut me out," he pressed. Stella scoffed. _She _was shutting _him _out? He just didn't get it.

"If you wanted to know so much, then you should have been there," Stella retorted, feeling her anger rising. She knew what he wanted, but that didn't mean that she was going to give it to him.

A look of confusion fell over Michael's face, "where?"

"The appointment," Stella replied, angry that he seemed to have forgotten all about standing her up.

"Is that what this is all about?" he asked, his voice softening as realisation dawned upon him. Could this really be the reason that she had been so cold to him this past week?

"No, Michael, it's not just about this," Stella answered testily. It wasn't just about him missing one appointment. It was the fact that Stella knew that things like this would continue to happen whenever Michael didn't feel like being a father.

"Then..." Michael trailed off, wondering how he was going to sort this out.

"No, you know what. Michael? Just forget it," Stella responded. "Just forget I ever mentioned this to you. Just forget this ever happened. I'll find someone to adopt the... the thing, and then neither of us will have to deal with it, and we can just go back to how things were before. You can live your life and I can live mine."

"Stel, I don't want to forget about us," he argued, hurt that she would even suggest this. He had no desire to forget any moment he had ever spent with her. They were some of the most precious he had, and he would hold onto them forever.

"Us?" scoffed Stella. "There is no us. You've made that very clear."

A look of hurt fell upon Michael face only to be replaced by anger as Stella turned to walk away from him. He was sick of Stella continually avoiding him, he was sick of thinking that they were finally getting somewhere in their relationship only to have Stella push him away, he was sick of her keeping things from him that he had a right to know and, most of all, he was sick of not being able to be there for her. He just wished she would let him in.

"Stella, don't walk away from me," he ordered. There was a sense of forcefulness in his voice that he had never used with her before. It stopped Stella in her tracks, causing her to turn back to him. Michael was in charge now, and it was his turn to talk.

"You can't keep things like this from me," he continued, his forceful tone still present. "I have a right to know."

"You should have been there," she repeated, her voice rising in anger. The tension building up inside her was starting to be released.

"I deserve to know," Michael retorted, frustrated that she wouldn't just tell him. This was petty and silly. He wasn't going to back down this time.

"The baby is just as much mine as it is yours," he shouted, well and truly sick of this game they were playing.

Silence fell upon them as Stella spotted the shocked faced of Shannon, Josh, Lawson and Christian behind Michael. It appeared that they had heard the last of the argument. They knew. This was the last thing Stella needed. Michael glanced around upon noticing that Stella had fallen silent, swearing as he realised what he had done. Stella was not going to be happy with him for blurting it out like that.

"Thanks, Michael," Stella spoke sarcastically as she turned to leave again. "Thanks a lot."

"Shit," Michael repeated. He had really messed up this time.

* * *

When Michael arrived back at base, Stella was long gone. He cured the fact that he had had to attend another incident on the way back. He knew that he had to find Stella and apologise. They needed to talk, actually talk; another shouting match would certainly not help things. He had to find her, yet he knew that she probably wouldn't want to be found. He was just about to leave when Christian entered the room.

"So, you and Stella are having a kid, huh," Christian spoke as he walked over to Michael. Michael nodded, unsure whether he should say anything. He knew that Stella hadn't exactly wanted everyone to know yet, but it wasn't like it was a secret anymore.

"Fatherhood's a full time job," Christian continued, sitting down next to Michael.

"Yeah, Christian, I know that," Michael retorted, a little annoyed that Christian was telling him something he already knew as if he had no clue.

"No, you have no idea until you experience it," Christian explained. His tone was knowing yet also kind. He was trying to help Michael out and give him advice on being a father.

While Michael had previously dismissed Christian's comments, he found that the other man's most recent words seemed to stay with him. He knew that fatherhood wasn't just a part time thing, but he was just starting to realise that it was going to require more effort than he had previously thought.

"I'm going to be there for them," Michael spoke out loud, half saying it just to confirm it to himself.

"Does Stella know that?" Christian prompted.

He had a point. It was a fair question. Michael began to realise that maybe Stella didn't know that he would be there to support her and the baby. Maybe she thought that he was going to lose interest in her and the child and leave them. He had to let her know that he would be there for her. He had to find her.

* * *

Michael sat in his car wondering how to find Stella. He had to talk to her. She had to know how he felt. She wasn't answering her phone and she wasn't at home. It was like she was determined to avoid him. He supposed he couldn't really blame her after what he had done. Suddenly he had a thought; he knew where she would be.

Ten minutes later, Michael found Stella sitting by the water's edge in one of her favourite spots. Of course she was there. She was always there when she needed to think.

"Hey," he said as he sat down next to her, hoping that she would talk with him.

"Hey," she replied softly, looking up at him. It was a good sign. She wasn't yelling at him or walking away from him.

"I'm sorry about accidently telling everyone," he apologised. It was obvious he meant it from the look in his eyes; they were tender and soft, telling Stella what words couldn't.

Stella nodded. It was her way of accepting his apology without saying it was okay. It wasn't okay, yet she forgave him. She always did. Michael reached out to squeeze her hand. With the simple gesture, he was showing Stella that he was there for her. Stella looked up at him, giving him a small smile in return.

"I didn't find out the sex of the baby," she confessed as her solemn expression returned. "I couldn't."

"I should have been there," Michael admitted. That was what Stella had been waiting for, an admission that he hadn't been there for her like he had promised.

Stella nodded in agreement before replying, "You should've."

"You weren't serious about putting the baby up for adoption, were you?" Michael asked. He had worried about this ever since he had heard her say this during their earlier argument. He hoped that she had just said it in the heat of the moment. He didn't want someone else raising his child.

"I never wanted this," Stella explained, gesturing towards her stomach, "and I especially never wanted to do this alone."

"You're not alone," answered Michael seriously, gazing into her eyes, "you've got me."

Stella couldn't hide the small smile that appeared on her face, yet she didn't let herself get too happy. She wanted to believe him so bad, yet her past experience told her not to. Sure, he had been there for her when she really needed him, but there were other times when he hadn't been there.

"I really mean it, Stel," Michael continued, reaching out to gently move her hair back from her face. He let his fingers linger on her skin, softly brushing the pad of his thumb against her cheek all the while taking in the sight of her beauty. He noticed a change in Stella's attitude towards him. Her anger was disappearing and she seemed to be accepting him. Michael leaned in to kiss her, only to be stopped when his lips were millimetres from hers.

"No," Stella whispered. Michael pulled back, a look of confusion on his face, before Stella continued, "Aren't you back with Audrey?"

Michael shoulders dropped in defeat as Stella's words sunk in. Audrey. He had forgotten about her. He sighed before replying, "I don't know, sort of, not really..."

Stella nodded. She wasn't satisfied with his indecisive answer, yet it was the only one she needed. She met his eyes before continuing, speaking the words that needed to be said, "You have to make a choice. Do you want to be with her? Do you want to be with me? We can't keep going like this. You have to choose."

Michael sat in silence for a moment, thinking about his next words carefully. He was still worried that she was going to give away his son or daughter. The thought was taking over his mind.

"Will you keep the baby if I'm with you?" he asked.

Stella scoffed. It was the wrong thing to say. She couldn't believe him. Maybe he hadn't changed as much as she had thought.

"I don't want it that way," she answered as she stood. She didn't want Michael to be with her just so she would keep the baby, and she didn't want to keep the baby just because he was with her. There was always the chance that he would leave again.

Michael watched as Stella turned and walked away, leaving him alone. He saw her hand go up to her face, obviously wiping away tears. He wanted to go after her and comfort her, yet it was too late. The damage had been done. She was leaving again.

It had never been Michael's intention to use their relationship as a bargaining chip to get Stella to keep the baby, but he could see how his words could have been misconstrued. He wished he could take them back. He wanted to be with Stella. She was all he had wanted since he had met her, and his love for her had grown over time, yet she continued to turn him away time and time again. He knew he had to sort things out with her properly, for good this time. It was it, the time that would change the rest of his life. He had to tell her he loved her, and he had to do it properly. He was running out of chances.


	9. Chapter 9

So, just over a week, that's not too long to wait for an update, right? This chapter was a bit of a pain to write. I thought I had it finished and then I realised that it was way too short, so I had to go and write a whole other scene on the end. It's still a pretty short chapter, but I think it will do.

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I got lots of reviews for the last chapter, and I would love to get lots for this one. I always love hearing what you think about it. It's always nice to know what people think and what they notice about the chapters and what they think will happen. Plus, I am evil and I love hearing from readers who are getting emotional over something I've written, it's half the reason I do this. Knowing that I have that sort of power makes the many sleepless nights I go through to write this worthwhile. Sometimes I worry that I am turning into Steven Moffat. And I am rambling again.

I will try to get the next chapter posted very soon. It's going to be a fun one to write. Your homework for the week is to re-watch episode 322, or at least re-familiarise yourself with it. The next chapter will be based on that episode. It's one of my all time favourite episodes of anything ever. Anyway, I'll shut up now so that you can read.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rush or any of the characters.

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

**Isn't it obvious? – Michael Sandrelli**

Stella was craving olives. And rocky road. She longed for them both. Spinning around in her chair, she looked up at the clock, noting that it wasn't even close to lunchtime. She wondered if Kerry would notice if she slipped out to get the food that she was so desperately craving. She probably would, that woman didn't miss much. Stella was confined to the base, stuck doing desk work after injuring her leg. It was a taste of what was to come during the later stages of her pregnancy, and she was going stir crazy. She was not looking forward to this time. But, for now, she was stuck at a desk unable to get the foods she craved.

It wasn't all bad though, Stella got to hang out with Leon. Thankfully he hadn't changed the way he was treating her after hearing about her pregnancy over the coms, which was something which could not be said for the others. As opposed to the usual teasing comments she often got from Josh, she had gotten a congratulations. She had gotten similar reactions from Christian and Shannon and had gotten a lecture from Lawson about whether or not she was okay to be working. But Leon was still treating her the same, and for that she was grateful.

"I need food," Stella moaned to Leon as she let her head fall back against the back of the chair.

"Go," Leon urged, "I'll cover for you."

Stella glanced over at Kerry who was working at her desk, debating whether it was worth it, before replying, "I'll be back in ten."

True to her word, Stella was back at her desk ten minutes later with her desired food, and Kerry was none the wiser. Of course, it came with a price; Leon was insisting that he should get a percentage of the food seeing as he had covered for her. So, Stella found herself sharing her food with Leon, not that she minded, although she was eating for two now. The thought scared her.

"So, you're pregnant," Leon said as he grabbed an olive and popped it in his mouth. Stella turned to give Leon an exasperated look. She had been enjoying not talking about it. If she didn't talk about it or think about it too much, then she could almost pretend it wasn't happening.

"And Michael-" Leon pressed only to be cut off by Stella.

"Can we not do this," Stella requested, really not keen on talking about everything she was so desperately trying to forget about.

"Alright," Leon relented. "But if you want to-"

"Leon," Stella interrupted, giving him a final warning.

Silence fell upon them as they went back to their work. It was a reasonably quiet morning and so there wasn't too much to do, although that was all going to change later on when Christian would get held hostage and Stella and Leon would find themselves working flat out to help the other members of TR to resolve the situation. They had only been silent for a moment or two when Stella spoke again.

"He said he was going to be here for me."

"Michael?" Leon asked. It appeared that she _did_ want to talk.

"Yeah," Stella replied. "He said that he was going to stick with me through this, and now he's only here for me some of the time."

"That's not cool," Leon responded. He knew that it was better to agree with her than argue with her when she was like this.

"That is _so_ not cool," Stella ranted. "He promised me he would be here and now he's off with Audrey all the time."

There was a hint of distaste as she said the other woman's name. Leon raised his eyebrows at her, prompting Stella's defensive response.

"I'm not jealous."

"You said it, not me," Leon replied.

"I'm not jealous," Stella repeated. The more she said it, the less Leon believed her. "I'm not, it's just that he promised he would be here, and now he's not."

"You think he's not going to be there to help with the kid?" Leon guessed. It was pretty obvious what was going on here, although Michael and Stella seemed to be the only ones unable to understand the whole situation.

"He'll be around when it suits him, but he won't be there all the time," Stella explained. "I just don't want to be stuck with the baby."

"You don't sound too happy having a kid," Leon noted.

"I'm not," Stella confessed, taking a moment before continuing. "I don't want it."

"What are you going to do?" Leon asked in a concerned voice.

"I've been thinking about finding someone to adopt it," she confessed. "I haven't really looked into it yet though."

Leon turned back to his computer, typing in 'adoption agencies Melbourne' into the search bar. Stella gave him a small smile; this was exactly the help she needed. Moving closer to the screen, she grabbed a pen and wrote down the number of the first agency that came up.

"Are you sure?" Leon asked, feeling a bit guilty that he was helping Stella to get rid of her and Michael's child.

"I won't hurt to call them," Stella responded. "I'm just looking into my options."

* * *

Later that day, during her lunch break, Stella pulled the number out of her pocket, turning the piece of paper over in her hands. It presented a choice for her, a way out, an escape. This was exactly what she needed. Summoning up her courage, she dialled the number. It was something she had to do. She couldn't do this alone.

* * *

When Stella returned from lunch, she felt a sense of calm settling over her that she had not felt since she first found out she was pregnant. It was a welcome change.

"How'd it go?" Leon asked as she sat down, knowing that she had called the agency to enquire about adoption during her break. He wasn't sure if he agreed with what she was doing, but he was her friend and he was there for her.

"Good, they said they can definitely find someone who'll adopt it," Stella replied, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

"Don't you think you should talk to Michael first before you go making any big decisions like this," Leon suggested, trying to stick up for Michael seeing as he was not there to do it himself.

"Leon," Stella complained. She didn't want or need this from him.

"I'm just saying..." he defended, trailing off.

"I know," Stella relented, "but if Michael doesn't want to be involved full time, then he doesn't get to make any decisions about the baby's future.

"Don't you think you're being a bit unfair on him?" Leon asked, half expecting Stella to snap at him in reply.

"Life's not fair," Stella retorted in a blunt tone as she turned back to her desk, ending the conversation.

She knew she should talk to Michael about this, but she also knew that he would be dead set against the idea of adoption. She wasn't exactly angry at him anymore, they had gotten along great that morning when Michael had shown her the rabbit he had found, but he hadn't made a decision yet, and until he did, Stella was not going to make any long term plans that involved her raising a child. Everything hung on Michael's decision.

* * *

Later on that day, Stella was just getting ready to leave when Christian walked into the room, announcing his latest discovery.

"Has anyone lost a rabbit?" he asked.

Stella immediately recognised Herbert the rabbit sitting in Christian's arms. It was so typical of Michael to have lost his pet the day he found it. How did he expect to look after a child when he couldn't even manage to look after a rabbit without losing it?

"That would be Michael," Stella sighed. He was hopeless. "I'll take him for you."

Stella reached out to take Herbert from Christian, pulling the soft bunny towards her. He better not have any diseases, Michael had said that he wasn't sure if he did. She supposed that getting some sort of rabbit disease probably wouldn't be very good for her and the baby. She would find Michael and give him his rabbit back before it had a chance to infect her with anything. It would be a good chance for her to see if Michael had made a decision yet. Well, truth be told, part of her just wanted to spend time with Herbert, but he was cute.

Since Michael had already left for the day, Stella decided that she would drop Herbert off at his house. She would let him decide what to do with the rescued rabbit and deal with it. Pulling out her phone, Stella sent Michael a text letting him know that she was coming over and she had a surprise for him. Moments later she received a reply saying that he wasn't at home and she should meet him at an alternate location.

Figuring she would find out what was up when she got there, Stella drove to the address Michael had given her. Herbert sat in a box on the passenger seat next to her, yet he didn't seem to want to stay there. The box was rocking back and forth as the bunny tried to escape, unhappy with his forced confinement.

"Herbert," she warned, but it was too late, Herbert had already overturned the box and was hopping out of the box towards her.

"Herbert, no," she complained as Herbert jumped into her lap. She glanced down for a second to see Herbert gazing back at her, his nose twitching. Sighing in defeat, she decided to let him stay. He was too adorable and she was nearly there anyway.

A couple of minutes later, Stella pulled up outside the address Michael had given to her. She was outside a house, though she had never been there before. She wondered why Michael had asked her to go there. She picked up Herbert and exited the car, looking forward to seeing the look on Michael's face when she returned his rabbit to him. As she walked down the driveway, she saw Michael appear out of the house.

"Look who I found," Stella said as she held Herbert up in her arms.

"Herbie!" Michael exclaimed as he rushed over to Stella, reaching out to take Herbert from her.

"You're alive!" he said excitedly as he brought the rabbit to his chest.

"Alive?' Stella questioned, raising her eyebrows at him.

"It's a long story," Michael replied as he beamed at Herbert, glad to have him back. He had been so worried about him. The thought that he had cooked him in the car had been taking over his mind all afternoon.

To be honest, Michael's words didn't exactly reassure Stella. The fact that he had lost the rabbit and thought he was dead didn't exactly speak wonders about his abilities when it came to looking after things. Would he lose the baby too?

"So, what do you think?" Michael asked once he stopped doting over Herbert. Suddenly it all clicked in Stella's mind.

"Is this the place you and Shannon bought?" she guessed. Michael nodded enthusiastically, excited about his new house and especially excited about seeing what Stella thought about it.

"Wanna come and see it?" he asked, sounding like an overexcited child.

Michael led Stella through the house, giving her a tour of the place, holding Herbert all the while. He patted the bunny and spoke to him in between showing Stella around. When they entered the second bedroom, Michael put Herbert down on the ground, letting him hop around as he turned to Stella.

"I'm thinking we could put a cot over there," he said, placing his hands on Stella's shoulders and turning her towards the wall he was referring to. He had been in here for nearly an hour planning where everything would go. He had figured out every last detail right down to where the baby's teddy bears would live. the only trouble was he didn't know whether the walls should be blue or pink, but he had plenty of time to sort that out.

"Isn't this your investment property?" Stella reminded Michael, trying to stop him before he got too excited and continued with his half baked idea. She didn't want the cot to sit there in the corner. She didn't want a cot at all.

"Well yeah, but..." Michael replied, trailing off, his voice sounding slightly deflated as Stella reminded him of reality. Little did she know, the idea was not half baked at all and Michael had it all figured out.

"Michael," Stella sighed. He wasn't being serious. He couldn't be. He wasn't going to actually go through with this idea of the baby living here. There was no way that would happen.

"Come on, Stel," Michael continued. He was completely serious about this. He couldn't understand why she didn't understand that. "Me, you and the baby here, it will be great."

"Michael, it's not happening," Stella protested, her voice telling him that this was the end of the conversation. It was just another one of his ideas. It would never happen.

"You're not still thinking about giving our baby away, are you?" Michael asked, his tone suggesting that he thought the idea was ridiculous. The way he said this, as if she wouldn't actually go through with it, began to anger Stella.

"Yes, Michael, I am," she retorted. It was about time that he realised how serious she was.

"Why, Stel?" Michael begged, his tone softening. He didn't want this; he didn't want it at all. He wanted Stella and this child, yet it appeared as though his wants were different to hers.

"I can't do this," admitted Stella, defeat evident in her words. She couldn't. She had accepted it. She couldn't raise and child, and quite frankly, the more she thought about it, the more she didn't want to.

"You can do this," Michael encouraged enthusiastically. He was still dead set on being a father. "_We _can do this.

Stella shook her head forlornly. "I can't."

Stella knew that she couldn't do this alone, and she still wasn't convinced that Michael would be around. She wasn't even sure if she could do this with Michael, let alone without him, which would inevitably happen when he lost interest. There were just too many uncertainties and there was too much to lose. She didn't want this life, the life that was controlled by a child. She wanted her life back. She might have to lose nine months of her life to this thing, but she was not going to let it take the next eighteen years of her life as well.

"Can't, or won't?" Michael asked dubiously, his expression hardening. He got the feeling that she was determined not to raise this baby with him.

"What sort of question is that?" Stella asked, tiring of his attitude. She didn't need this from him. He was supposed to be helping her through this.

"You're not giving my child away," Michael ordered, ignoring Stella's question.

"Your child?" Stella scoffed, her voice rising in anger. "Your child? Is it your child when I'm the one who has to carry it for nine months? Will it be your child when you don't feel like being a father? Will it be your child every single day for the rest of your life? Will it be your child when it's crying in the middle of the night when you're off with Au... someone else? No, it'll only be your child when you want it. I'll be stuck with it whenever you lose interest."

"Stel, that's not true," protested Michael. How could she even think that he felt this way? "I want _our _child."

"You want it now," Stella said, her expression hardening with determination. "I don't want it... ever."

With that, Stella turned and walked out. She could feel the tears returning. She hated that pregnancy was making her act this way: irrational and weak. She brought her head up, holding it high as she walked away. She was determined to stay strong. She continued to walk towards her car, ignoring the sounds of Michael's protests.

"Stella," he called. "Stella!"

But Stella wasn't listening. She was leaving. She had made her decision.

* * *

When Stella arrived home, having driven straight there, too upset to do anything else, she immediately pulled the number out of her pocket. There was no hesitation this time as she dialled the number of the adoption agency. She was completely certain in her decision. She couldn't raise a child with Michael, the idea was ridiculous. She didn't know why she had ever thought she could. She couldn't. She just wasn't cut out for this. It was time to accept defeat and sort out this problem once and for all.

* * *

Michael lay back on his futon, wondering if he would ever sort out his problems with Stella. She was just being irrational. How was he supposed to be there for her and the baby when she kept pushing him away? It was hot and cold with her. It had always been this way. One minute she needed him and the next she was pushing him away. He wanted to be with her, but she wasn't making it easy for him.

Michael thought back to when they had made that pact to have a baby together. She had been so certain back then; she hadn't even wanted time to think about it. He couldn't help wondering if that had all been a lie. He had been deadly serious then, but had she? He couldn't help but think that perhaps she hadn't really meant what she said, and now she was being forced into this situation and she didn't want it. Was having a child with him such a terrible thing? He was sure that it was what she wanted, admittedly not yet, but he had still thought that she wanted it. Had everything she said been a lie?

The sound of Michael's phone ringing brought him out of his thoughts. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the screen to see who was calling. It was Leon.

"Hey, Leon," he said cheerfully as he answered the call. He wondered why Leon was calling him but figured that he would find out soon.

"Michael, you've got a big problem," Leon replied, cutting straight to the point for once.

"Problem?" Michael was confused. What could Leon possibly know that he didn't?

"Stella," Leon answered as though this should be obvious.

"Tell me about it," Michael replied sarcastically. Right now his situation with Stella was one huge mess, and he had no idea how to sort it out.

"No, Michael, you really have a problem," Leon continued seriously. "She told me she's thinking about giving the baby up for adoption."

"I know, but she's not really going to go through with it." There was a hint of uncertainty in Michael's voice as he spoke. His words were what he hoped and not what he believed. Leon couldn't help thinking that Michael was being very naive in his assumption that Stella wasn't serious about this. It could very well prove to be Michael's downfall.

"She's been talking to adoption agencies," Leon supplied, knowing that this would make Michael understand just how serious Stella was about putting the baby up for adoption.

"Shit." She was serious. "So she'll actually go through with this?"

"Michael," Leon replied gravely. "She's serious. She's not mucking around or doing this just to mess with you. You're going to lose your kid if you don't do something soon."

* * *

Half an hour later, Michael sat across from Christian and Leon. They had agreed to meet for a drink so that Leon could share what he knew in order to help Michael. Christian had tagged along as he was with Leon at the time and felt that he could bring something to the table in the form of advice on women and children. Michael wasn't quite sure what he thought about Christian giving him advice, he had never really taken his advice seriously before, but he also couldn't deny that he needed help before he lost Stella and his child.

"So she called them, but she hasn't arranged it?" Michael asked. The current topic of debate was whether or not Stella had actually made any arrangements regarding the adoption. If she had already made arrangements and signed something, then they could have a problem, but if she hadn't, then there was still time to convince her not to do this.

"She called them and said they could arrange it," Leon clarified. "I don't think anything is set in stone yet, but she sounded pretty serious about it."

"I have to stop her," announced Michael. He couldn't let her give their child to someone else.

"You need to do more than that," Christian piped up. "Why do you think she's doing this?"

"I dunno," Michael replied thoughtfully. "She said that she doesn't want the baby and I don't want to be a father, but I do."

"She told me that she doesn't think you're going to be around because you're always off with Audrey," Leon interjected. He wasn't exactly betraying Stella's trust, he was just trying to help his friends sort out their problems, but he probably shouldn't have mentioned Audrey. He knew how it sounded, and Stella was still insisting that she wasn't jealous.

"You've got to admit, it looks pretty bad, you getting back together with Audrey just after finding out Stella's pregnant," Christian furthered.

"I'm not back with her though, Michael protested, although he couldn't deny that there was a part of him that liked the fact that Stella was jealous. "Not really, I don't know. I'm not really with either of them."

"Well there's your problem," Leon commented, gesturing with his hand to further emphasise his point.

"How is Stella supposed to believe that you'll be there if you don't even know if you're with her or someone else?" added Christian.

Michael didn't know what to say. He hadn't meant to act this way, but he was starting to see how his actions looked. He supposed that he could understand why she didn't believe he would be there considering that when she had needed him he was off with Audrey. He hadn't meant for this to happen, things had just occurred this way.

"You need to tell her how you feel," Leon prompted, backed up by Christian who nodded in agreement.

"Isn't it obvious?" Michael asked. Surely she knew. How could she not?

"It is to everyone but her," Christian explained. They all knew how Michael felt about Stella. They all knew he loved her, yet Stella remained oblivious to just how deep Michael's feelings for her ran. She was the only one who couldn't see how much he loved her.

"I've got to tell her, don't I?" Michael spoke half to himself. It was a rhetorical question. He knew what he had to do. In a way, he had known for a while. Deep down he knew that he had to do it, he had to verbalise his feelings for her.

That was when Michael made a decision. He was going to do it. He was going to say what he should have said long ago. He wasn't going to dance around the edges of their relationship anymore, never telling Stella how he really felt and living in a constant state of not knowing. He was going to step up. He had waited long enough; he'd known how he felt about her for a year or so now. The time had come to give her more. Michael was going to tell Stella he loved her.


	10. Chapter 10

So, I'm back! I told you that this chapter would be up soon. I won't lie, I loved writing this. This is the most fun I've had writing in a long time. It is set during my favourite episode, season 3 episode 22. If you haven't seen it, you should go and watch it, and even if you have seen it, you should go and watch it again. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and left me lovely messages. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. I should have the next one out soon. I've started it and it's another one that I am really looking forward to writing.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rush, any of the characters or any of the dialogue that I borrowed for this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

**Kiss me – Michael Sandrelli**

The next few weeks seemed to pass very quickly for Michael, yet nothing of consequence occurred between him and Stella. He still planned to tell her how he felt; he was just waiting for the right moment. As always, Michael and Stella saw each other several times over the course of the past few weeks, though since Stella was confined to base, they didn't see each other as much as they normally would. Michael was still planning on confessing his love for Stella, but now just wasn't the time. That was what he said to himself every day. He would do it, just not today.

As part of their duties for the day, Tactical Response had been called out to an island to deal with a shooting. Stella was back with them, having been declared fit for duty days earlier, and Audrey was tagging along too. It made for an awkward trip to the island. Michael seemed to hover between the two women, flitting back and forth. In his heart he had made a decision, yet his actions said otherwise.

Michael noted that Audrey seemed to be struggling as they walked along. She wasn't used to being out and about with the team and was obviously finding this difficult. He couldn't help his desire to help her.

"Audrey, take off your pack," he suggested. He was just trying to help. "We can share it 'round."

"I'm fine," Audrey replied, a little annoyed that Michael thought she couldn't cope. She didn't want to be seen as the weak one of the group.

"She's fine," Stella interjected. She too sounded annoyed, although her annoyance was more obvious than Audrey's. Michael remembered what Leon had told him that Stella had said about Audrey. It sounded exactly as if Stella was jealous.

"You fine?" Michael asked Stella, trying to include her too so she didn't feel left out and jealous. It wasn't his intention to make her jealous, well not _too_ jealous. He wouldn't deny that there was a part of him that liked seeing her jealous side.

Stella was confused, wondering why he didn't think she could handle this, and replied with a small "huh?"

"Just with your leg," Michael explained, "you've been off for a while."

Michael wasn't really talking about her leg, but he wasn't going to mention the baby in front of Audrey. He could remember how upset Stella had been with him after he had accidently informed the rest of the team and he did not want to repeat his previous mistake, but there was something else holding him back. There was a part of him that didn't want Audrey to know. She was one of the last people in his life who didn't know. When Audrey found out, their relationship would be well and truly over with no hope of being rekindled, and there was a part of Michael that wanted to stop this from happening. If Audrey found out, then everything would be set in stone. There would be no turning back. He wasn't quite sure why he didn't want Audrey to know, all he knew was that he didn't want her to know just yet.

"Yeah, I'm fine thanks, Michael," Stella responded coldly. It was clear that she was a little infuriated at Audrey being there.

"Cool," Michael replied. Audrey was fine and Stella was fine. They were both fine. Everything was fine, yet Michael still hadn't told Stella how he felt about her.

Soon after, Michael was given the perfect chance to talk to Stella when they were sent off alone to take a look around. Though he still didn't tell her, it wasn't the right time – she wouldn't want to hear it now, Michael wasn't even sure if she would want to hear it at all – but that didn't he wasn't going to address the other issue at hand.

"So were you, like, threatened by Audrey?" Michael asked, emphasising the word 'threatened', getting immense enjoyment out of the fact that Stella was obviously jealous and threatened.

"What?" Stella scoffed, ready to deny it. She was not jealous or threatened. She would not admit to being jealous of Audrey.

"Before, the thing with her pack," Michael explained, knowing that Stella was jealous, yet at the same time also knowing that she would never admit to it.

"I was trying to make her feel like part of the team, you were making her feel like an accessory," Stella justified. It was a good lie. She hoped it would get Michael off her back.

"Are you sure that's all this is about?" Michael pushed. He was letting himself hope that there was more to it. There had to be, surely Stella couldn't be this passionate about wanting Audrey to feel like part of the team. Her true feelings were starting to show, Michael could see them.

"What else would it be, Michael?" Stella asked in a matter of fact way. They were both trying to get the other to say what it was that they were feeling, yet neither of them were willing to be so forthcoming.

"You told me to go there," Michael accused, turning it back on her. They could continue this way all day. Both seemed to have a talent for avoiding saying what really needed to be said. Instead they would continue with vague questions and assumptions, never saying how they really feel.

"I told you to go there, yep," Stella spoke incredulously. She couldn't believe that he was insinuating that this was all because of her.

"You know what I mean, with Audrey," Michael responded, frustrated by Stella's attitude.

"Oh you're such a romantic, aren't you," Stella retorted sarcastically. She just didn't see how this conversation was helping anything. As usual, they were getting nowhere and were just becoming increasingly infuriated with each other. They loved each other - as friends and even something more, not that Stella would admit it yet though – but their communication issues continually created problems. Michael knew he loved Stella and deep down there was a part of Stella that knew she loved Michael too, yet they were still oblivious to how the other felt. Everyone else could see it, but they were still too blind to see the obvious.

"Oh and when have you ever been interested in romance?" Michael argued. He hadn't meant to start this, but it was all starting to come out now. It was inevitable that everything would be revealed eventually.

"You don't get it, do you?" Stella replied. He didn't. Nor did she. Neither of them did.

"I have tried everything with you," Michael said, desperation leaking into his words. In his mind he had, yet in Stella's mind it was a completely different story.

But Stella wasn't willing to discuss this now. She was already changing the subject, getting back to the job at hand and trying to avoid discussing things with Michael as she always did. It was her usual avoidance tactic, one that had caused this not-quite-a-relationship/ not-quite-not-a-relationship relationship to continue on for so long.

"There's the police station," she announced. It was back to business now, for her at least.

"Stel," Michael protested. He wanted to talk about this. He wasn't willing to let this go so easily. He had something very important to say to Stella.

"Shut up," Stella commanded. The conversation was over, though Michael was determined not to let it end just like that. He wasn't going to give up on Stella without a fight.

"Sure, okay again, whatever you want," Michael said, exasperated by the way this conversation had gone. It had ended up like all the others, a complete disaster: a mess of misunderstandings and words that needed to be said and heard.

"Left hand side, Michael, blue building," replied Stella, trying to bring Michael's attention back to the task at hand. They were supposed to be working after all. This was not the time or place to be discussing their relationship. But Michael had never been particularly good at choosing appropriate times to talk about them. The evidence was all in the past, Stella could think of several times off the top of her head where Michael had decided to discuss their relationship while they were supposed to be working.

"Yeah, nothing, nothing at all," Michael muttered as he got up and turned to go back to the others, back to the job they were supposed to be doing. He was accepting defeat, for now. He would talk to Stella again and tell her what needed to be said. He was determined to do this.

Stella found that Michael's words seemed to strike something inside her. They were true. There was nothing. There was nothing between them and nothing tying them together, or at least that would be the case soon. It was all arranged, Stella had found the perfect couple to adopt the baby. They were a few years older than Michael and Stella were and lived just out of town. They had been trying for a baby for some time now, but it was not to be. They would love and care for Michael and Stella's baby, Stella was sure of it. They would do a much better job of raising this child than she and Michael could. Stella had accepted the fact that she and Michael weren't cut out for this, they just weren't meant to raise a child together. She too was accepting her own defeat, although for her it wasn't just a temporary defeat, it was final.

After returning back to the others, nothing more was said on the subject between Michael and Stella. Audrey was left to work in the police station which provided some much needed relief for Stella. The strained atmosphere had been getting to be too much. They could all feel the tension between Stella, Audrey and Michael. Soon Michael and Stella were separated too, and that's when disaster struck. Perhaps if they had been together it wouldn't have happened, or maybe if Michael had turned around just in time things would have been different, but all the hindsight in the world couldn't change the events that happened later that day. Perhaps it was fate, a cruel twisted fate that, despite its malice, eventually brought Michael and Stella together. If it was, then fate is certainly painful and vindictive, or perhaps it was just bad luck. But it happened all the same.

* * *

Michael lay on the ground, drifting in and out of consciousness. He could feel an agonising pain coming from his stomach. There was blood, and a lot of it. Michael knew that the wound needed pressure on it, but he couldn't lift his arms to do this. The effort was too great, and he was too weak. He racked his brain, trying to remember the events that had led to this. He knew that something bad had happened to leave him lying on the ground bleeding out like this, but he couldn't remember exactly what had happened. Then everything faded to black.

###

The prick had shot him with a spear gun. Michael could vaguely remember the details now. He could remember turning around to see the gun pointed at him, and he could remember the feeling of the spear forcing its way into his gut. He could remember thinking to himself that he had to get help. He could remember passing out for the first time, and he could remember flashes of reality and pain. Then everything went black again.

###

Michael awoke to the sound of a voice in his ear.

"Michael."

"Michael."

That was him, he was Michael, and the voice was... Leon. Michael struggled to remain conscious. He knew he should answer Leon, this was his one chance to get help, yet his body disobeyed him, held paralysed by pain. If he could just answer Leon over the coms, then he could get help. He tried to say something, but words would not come.

"Help," the voice in his head called. "Help."

Yet no help was coming. No one could hear. He was alone in his head. Then he was taken by the blackness again. It dragged him back into unconsciousness, towards the place he had no desire to go: death.

###

When Michael awoke again, his first thought was of Stella. He was alone. He would die alone. She would never know how he really felt about her. She would never be able to hear those words from him. Their relationship was destined to die in an unfinished state, yet it had never really begun, not really. He lived when he was with her, but now he was dying alone.

"Stella," he whispered. Once again, there was no one around to hear, yet if Michael was to die, if this was to be his last word, his last thought, he wanted it to be her.

"Stella."

Black.

###

The next time Michael returned to consciousness, he remembered his family. He thought of everyone he would never get to see again: his parents, his siblings, Stella – she counted as family, she was pretty much family already. Then he thought of the family he would never meet: his son or daughter. More pain gripped him at the thought that he would never meet his baby. His child was going to grow up without a father. He couldn't let that happen. He would not leave Stella and his child. He would not let death take him. He had something to live for, something to fight for. He would not give up, yet the blackness still took him away, for the time being.

###

When Michael awoke again, he felt a temporary absence of pain. He felt hands on him and could hear the sound of his name being called.

"Michael?"

Stella. She sounded worried. Michael longed to do something to comfort her, to reassure her that everything would be okay, but he couldn't. The pain was too great, it was controlling him. Death's grip was stopping him from being there for Stella. He had lost control over his own life, yet he was still fighting. He would fight to regain control. He was not going to give up that easily. But the blackness still came.

###

The next time Michael awoke, he could hear another voice. It was Audrey. She was going on about something or other that Michael didn't care to try to pay attention to. Instead he sought out Stella's voice. She was there; Michael could still feel her hands on him. He knew she was there. He heard the sound of Stella yelling at Audrey and felt her move as she pushed the other woman away. Michael smiled inwardly. She _was_ jealous. With that knowledge, he let the blackness welcome him back.

###

Michael awoke briefly to find his body being jolted about. He was in the back of a ute.

"Slow down," Stella yelled, banging on the back of the car before returning her hand to Michael's chest. Its presence soothed him. She was there. Michael felt himself relaxing at this knowledge. He let the blackness take him again, for now. He would return to Stella soon.

###

"If you don't pull through, Sandrelli, I'm gonna shoot you myself," Michael heard Stella say as he regained consciousness for a moment. Michael smiled inwardly to himself; it was so typical of Stella to say something like this. Then, as it always did, everything faded to black.

###

Michael's time spent in the conscious world was becoming shorter and shorter, and he was spending more and more time in the dark. He could feel himself fading. He could feel his life slipping away, slipping though his fingers like grains of sand. He tried to fight, yet it was becoming increasingly difficult. But he wasn't finished yet; he still had a lot more life to live. When Michael awoke the next time, he could hear Stella talking.

"You know, I reckon I've figured it out."

_Oh if only. _

"This job, right, it's all about fear, yeah?"

_Yeah, I'm scared, scared of losing you. _

"Everyday, all day we're exposed to all this crap, fear, terror. You know, we see blood, we see ugliness, but after a while we just stop feeling everything, right?"

_No. _

Michael could still feel. It hurt. It hurt that she would never feel the same way, but he could still feel. He felt love.

Michael could feel death clawing at him, trying to drag him back into the darkness. He wouldn't go, he couldn't. He wanted to stay with Stella. Summoning all his energy, he opened his eyes. It was now. This was the time to say it. It could be his last chance.

"Michael?" Stella spoke as she noticed his eyes opening. "Hey, have you been listening to me talk shit this whole time?"

Were he able to, Michael would have laughed at her chastising him, yet he had more pressing issues to deal with. He had to tell her. It was now or never.

_Stel, I love you. _

_ I love you, Stella. _

He played the words over and over again in his heat, yet he could not verbalise them. Instead he only managed to murmur two barely audible words.

"Kiss me."

"What?" Stella laughed as she leaned over him. Of all the things in the world he could need right now, this was the one thing he chose to ask for. But it was what he needed. If he couldn't say those words to Stella, then he would show her. He needed her to kiss him. He was dying and all he wanted was her.

"Kiss me," Michael mumbled again. He could feel the blackness trying to reclaim him, but he wouldn't let it take him, not yet. Stella still had to kiss him. Michael reached out to her, his fingers grazing her face. It was the best he could do in his weakened state. He needed her to want him too.

"I'm not going to kiss you, you've got a spear poking out of your guts," Stella replied, as though the idea was preposterous.

Yet, in contradiction to her words, Stella brought her lips to his. If she was his dying wish, then who was she to deny him? She was all he wanted and all he needed. In that moment, she was everything.

Michael poured everything he had into the kiss, using up the last of his energy. It could very well be his last chance to feel her lips on his, his last chance to show her what he had been trying to tell her for some time now. He was drained and fading fast, but if the last thing he felt was Stella's lips, then he would die a happy man.

All too soon, Stella pulled away. Michael tried to follow her, seeking out her lips again. He wasn't ready for this to end yet, but he was too weak. His head fell back; a silent gasp falling from his lips as all the pain that Stella had kept at bay came flooding back. He tried to swallow back the pain, yet it went on. It was real. It was painful. He was alive, and for that he was immensely grateful. He tried to stop the pain. He wouldn't let it affect him. He would not let it ruin the moment. Yet the moment was ending.

His heart beat faintly in his chest, his pulse weak. He was dying. Pain threatened to consume him, yet he was alive, for Stella, because of Stella. He was alive.

"You're okay," Stella stated, feeling as though she could finally breathe again.

He was now. He would be.

###

Stella continued talking to Michael. She talked about anything and everything as he kept drifting in and out of consciousness. They had a paramedic with them now, but Michael still wasn't out of the woods yet. Stella was doing everything she could to keep him with her in the land of the living.

"Don't go leaving me now," Stella warned. "You've got a baby coming in a few months and you are not leaving me to deal with this on my own."

Bossing him around had worked before, and Stella was sure that it would work again. It did.

"Never," Michael managed to murmur with a faint smile. He would never leave her, he couldn't.

Michael could see tears welling up in Stella's eyes. She had been so worried about him. She was truly worried that she was going to lose him. She didn't think that she could handle that. Michael gently squeezed her hand to reassure her that he was there. He wasn't going anywhere, not if he had a say in it. He didn't want her to cry for him, yet there was something else, something she wasn't sharing with him. Stella squeezed his hand back as a small smile formed on her lips. They would be okay. They had to be. They always were, eventually.

* * *

The next thing Michael registered was Stella telling Audrey that she had to go with him. Michael wanted to protest, he wanted Stella. He glanced around. He was in an ambulance. Audrey was climbing in next to him, yet Stella was there. Their eyes met. She had to go, but she would be back. She would come back to Michael.

"What are you smiling at?" Audrey asked. The answer was simple: Stella.

As the ambulance swiftly made its way to the hospital, reality became a more permanent fixture for Michael. He was no longer in an ever changing state. Previously he had been alternating between unconsciousness and an almost surreal reality, yet now he was properly conscious. It was a strange feeling after fighting back death for so long and nearly being overcome by the blackness so many times. Everything seemed to be so real. He could hear the sound of the sirens as the ambulance raced through the streets. He could see the crisp, sterile cleanness of everything in the vehicle, he could smell it too. He could feel the numb of the pain killers he had been given and he could hear Audrey talking.

"It was always going to be Stella, wasn't it," Audrey stated. The events of the day had led her to accept this. She couldn't compete. Stella was the only one for Michael. It was Stella and Michael, Michael and Stella, it was inevitable.

"Yeah," Michael agreed. There was no point in hiding the truth now. He and Audrey were well and truly over with no hope of reconcilliating their former relationship. A small part of Michael felt that he should feel at least a little upset about this, yet he just couldn't find it in himself to mourn the ending of this relationship, not when the promise of Stella was so dominant in his mind. A door was closing, yet Michael was walking into a glorious garden in paradise.

"It's always been Stella," Michael admitted truthfully. "Always has been and always will be."

Audrey nodded, letting Michael talk. It wasn't until Michael said these words that he realised just how true they were. It _had _always been Stella; in a way Michael had known it from the moment he first saw her. There was just something about her that caught his attention. Then his love for her grew over time, and Michael knew it would never go away, it would only continue to grow. He couldn't help it. It was a part of him now. Just as he was Michael Sandrelli, he loved Stella Dagostino.

Michael thought back to all the times Stella had turned him down. He had stuck with her and persevered. He had always known she was something special. Deep down, he had always known it was her. He just hoped that she would realise this too. They were meant for each other, he knew it, but she had to see it too, she had to want it too. She had to want him too.

"We're having a baby together," Michael announced with a small smile, just for himself. It was time to tell her. There was nothing to be gained from keeping it from her anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Audrey asked, slightly shocked and taken aback, trying to understand why Michael had kept this from her. "Don't you think it was something that I needed to know if you and I were going to be together?"

"I know, I should've told you," Michael responded. He was finding it increasingly easy to talk about this now. Recent events had made him realise what was important. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he could speak freely now.

"I guess I was just trying to escape from the idea," he admitted truthfully, realising it himself for the first time. "I just wasn't ready."

"And now?" asked Audrey.

"I'm ready."

And he was. He didn't even need to think about it. Like it was with Stella, he just knew. It was almost like it was programmed into his DNA. Michael was ready for this. He was ready for this next challenge, this next adventure. He was ready for Stella. He was ready for more.


	11. Chapter 11

So, chapter eleven. Wow, I can't believe how much I have written of this story. This chapter will push it over 50,000 words, making it the longest story I have written so far. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed/sent lovely messages about the last chapter. I really loved writing that one and it was so nice to hear that you guys enjoyed reading it. I got a little carried away with this one, and so it is one of the longest ones I have written so far, but I think there are some nice surprises (well, they're not actually so surprising) in there that you guys will like. As always, I would love to hear what you think. I'll try to get the next chapter done soon. I have an exam on next week which means I should study which actually means I am going to have a Rush marathon. It's not really a concious decision I make, but every time I have an important exam I end up having a Rush marathon instead of studying. So hopefully that should bring about some ideas for the next few chapters. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rush or any of the characters or the lines I borrowed.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

**It's all I want. I can't help it – Michael Sandrelli**

As soon as Stella was done dealing with the incident that Tactical Response had been called to, she headed straight to the hospital, eager for some news on Michael's condition. Stella was dropped off at the hospital as the other team members made their way back to base. They would come and check on Michael later once they had gotten changed, but Stella didn't have time for that. She had to see Michael.

When Stella arrived at the hospital, she enquired at the desk to find out where Michael was before making her way to the ward she had been directed to. As she entered the ward, she found Audrey sitting in the waiting room. The other woman looked up from the magazine she was reading to glance at Stella, her expression neither welcoming nor hostile. Stella supposed that there was no hiding now; she would just have to face Audrey. Besides, she wanted to find out about Michael.

"Hey," she said as she took a seat next to Audrey. There was an air of awkwardness that hung between them, after all, it was only a few hours earlier that that Stella had yelled at Audrey and pushed her away from Michael, yet that was all in the past. There were more important matters to deal with now.

"How is he?" Stella asked, worried about what she might hear.

"He went in for surgery about half an hour ago," Audrey explained, cutting straight to the point.

Stella nodded in reply. Surgery was to be expected. It was a serious injury, they weren't just going to stick a bandaid on it and send him home. She knew that she shouldn't be overly concerned about the surgery, but she couldn't stop the worry that gnawed at her stomach.

Silence fell upon them as they waited. Audrey resumed reading her magazine while Stella alternated between twisting her hands in her lap and pacing up and down the waiting room. Time seemed to pass slowly. Surely they should be done by now. She wasn't sure if the fact that it was taking so long was a good thing or a bad thing.

Stella glanced up at the sound of someone entering the room. It was a nurse. Her heard raced. Would it be good news or bad news?

"Stella?" the nurse called to the half empty waiting room. Stella stood up, hoping that she would bring good news. "Michael's asking for you."

Stella breathed a sigh of relief. He was alive. She followed the nurse out of the room, listening as she explained Michael's condition.

"The surgery was a success," the nurse spoke. "He's awake and recovering well, but he has lost a lot of blood, so we are going to keep him in for a week or so while he recovers."

Stella nodded. It was to be expected. She was just glad that he was still alive. It was not so long ago that she hadn't even known that for sure. She had been so sure that she was going to lose him that day. The thought had terrified her. She didn't know what she would do without him in her life.

They stopped outside Michael's room and Stella was left to enter alone. She gingerly walked through the door and stuck her head around the curtain, seeing Michael lying there facing away from her. The second she entered, Michael lifted his head and turned it towards her, smiling as he noticed her standing there. It was almost as if something had alerted him to her presence, but he hadn't been told, he had just known she was there.

"Hey," he managed to murmur, smiling weakly at her.

"Hey," repeated Stella as she walked over to him. Michael reached out, half blindly reaching for her hand, unable to lift his head or hand. He was okay now, but he was still weak and had a long road to recovery. Stella reached for his hand, saving him the trouble of searching for her. This brought a small smile to his lips.

"How are you feeling?" Stella asked as she sat in the chair next to his bed, still holding his hand.

"Alive," Michael replied groggily. He was still drowsy from his operation.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, Sandrelli," Stella chastitised. She was just so relieved that he was okay, but that didn't mean that she wasn't going to tell him off for nearly dying on her. She had really thought that she was going to lose him.

"You were worried," Michael muttered, managing a weak smirk. Inside, he was ecstatic that she cared so much. Deep down, he knew that she did, but it was still nice to see her show it openly.

"Yes," she admitted seriously. Michael squeezed her hand to reassure her that he was still there. He would not leave her.

"Stel," Michael murmured. He could feel himself fading, but he had something important to say to Stella first. It was time.

"Stel," he began again. He would use the last of his energy to tell her, but he was stopped as Stella put her hand on his arm, silencing him. She could see how exhausted he was. He needed to rest. The day had taken a lot out of him.

"Don't," she soothed. There would be time to talk later.

"No," Michael protested. He _had _to tell her.

"Shh, get some rest," Stella replied. "I'll be right here the entire time."

Michael looked at Stella, really looking at her. He took in the sight of her sitting there. She looked tired, about as tired as he felt. She was still in her uniform and he could see the stains left on it by his blood. She had had a long day. She looked exhausted. Michael knew that that couldn't be good for her or the baby.

"Go," Michael ordered weakly. "Get some rest and then come back."

Stella was about to protest, but she couldn't deny that a shower and some sleep sounded pretty good. She was exhausted, mentally and physically, but she didn't want to leave Michael, not after she had come so close to losing him.

"Go," Michael repeated, sensing her hesitation. "Come back tomorrow. I'll still be here."

He chuckled weakly at his last words, but they both knew that they were no laughing matter. He had come very close to not making it at all, but he was recovering now. He would get better with time and care.

"Okay," Stella finally relented, her exhaustion winning out. He was in good hands here. "I'll be back first thing tomorrow. I promise."

"Mmm," Michael responded drowsily, his eyes shutting of their own accord. He too had had a long day and was exhausted from the effort of fighting for his life. Before sleep claimed him, Stella heard him murmur one last word, a word that weakened her resolve and very nearly convinced her to stay.

"Stella."

Silently, so as not to wake him, Stella stood up to leave. When she reached the door, she turned back for one last glance at Michael. He slept peacefully, oblivious to the rest of the world. She stood there for a moment – a minute, five, ten, she wasn't exactly sure – watching Michael as he slept. He was alive. Stella felt like she could finally breathe again. Just as she was leaving, she heard him speak again.

"Stella." Stella stopped in her tracks, turning back to Michael. He was still asleep, calling to her from the land of dreams.

"Stella, I..." he murmured, trailing off. Then he fell silent, his soft breathing and the beep of the machines the only sounds that could be heard in the room.

Finally Stella tore herself away from Michael and left the hospital. She felt like she should stay, she didn't want to run this time, and she wasn't, but she knew that she had to get some rest. She would be no use to anyone if she was worn down with exhaustion. She also knew that Michael would worry about her if she didn't, and he didn't need that extra stress right now. As she walked away from the building, she realised that there was a solitary tear trailing down her cheek. She hastily wiped it away, her mind filled with thoughts of Michael lying back in hospital. What had he been trying to say? It sounded as if he wanted to tell her something. Did he or was she just imagining it? Was it all just a dream?

* * *

Two hours later, Stella settled down in her bed, ready to get some rest. She lay there, willing her eyes to close so she could get some sleep, yet they refused to cooperate, staying stubbornly open. She was exhausted, but she couldn't fall asleep. Her mind was racing, and her thoughts all had one common element: Michael. Stella knew that bed wasn't the place she had to be.

Stella got out of bed and threw on some clothes. She grabbed her keys and her badge – she figured that a cop coming to check on a critically injured colleague would have a much better chance of getting into the ward outside visiting hours than a girl who just needed her best friend – before making her way out the door back to the hospital, back to Michael.

When she arrived at the hospital, she made her way straight to Michael, only to be stopped by a nurse just as she was about to sneak into his room.

"Constable Dagostino," Stella announced, holding up her badge for the nurse to see. "I'm here to see Constable Sandrelli. I need to see him right away."

Stella was determined to get in to see Michael; no stupid visiting hours were going to stop her from visiting her best friend. The nurse seemed to think it over for a moment before replying, "I'm not supposed to let visitors in at this hour, but go on."

"Thank you," Stella replied, turning towards Michael's room, only to be stopped as the nurse spoke again.

"You must be Stella," the nurse said. Stella nodded, curious as the how she knew who she was. Then the nurse continued. "You're all he's spoken about since he's been conscious. He's been asking for you non-stop, he's even mentioned your name a few times in his sleep. He obviously cares a lot about you."

* * *

The blackness, it was returning, threatening to swallow Michael up. It had been beaten before, by love. It had been lenient on Michael, letting him slip through its fingers then pulling him back, only to release him again. But it was changing. It was colder now, harsher, darker, unforgiving. Left alone, Michael was vulnerable. In sleep, he fought, struggling against the cold grip that was trying to drag him back to death.

_Michael was back on the island, blood pouring from him and the spear embedded in his stomach. While, previously, consciousness and unconsciousness seemed to almost blend together, letting Michael effortlessly slip between the two, there now seemed to be two distinct states: consciousness and unconsciousness; light and dark; life and death. _

_ Michael knew that this was the point where Stella was supposed to turn up to save him, to help him hold onto life, to fight for him, but she was nowhere to be found. He called out for her, his throat aching and his body weak from the pain, but she still didn't show up. _

_ "Stella," he called, his voice small and almost impossible to hear. "Stella." _

_ But Stella wasn't there. She saved him, this had happened, this had to happen, but Stella wasn't here to save him now. He was dying. He fought to stay alive, but there was no reason now. He was destined to die now or continue living alone in pain. Neither option seemed appealing; Michael wanted Stella. Her name left his lips one last time, one last desperate plea for her to come and save him._

_ "Stella." _

Michael felt a hand on his shoulder as he woke up and sensed a presence in the room that had not previously been there. He didn't need to open his eyes to know who it was, yet he did so all the same. He opened his eyes to find Stella at his bedside, a worried expression clouding her face.

"Hey," he murmured as a small smile crept onto his face. He was okay now.

"Hey yourself," Stella replied, sitting down on the bed next to Michael. "Bad dream?"

"It's better now," Michael responded. And it was. Stella had come to save him, not in the dream, but in real life. It was this moment that Michael seemed to realise that it was nearing midnight and Stella was there at the hospital with him.

"You're supposed to be resting," he accused, though he was glad that she was there with him.

"So are you," Stella countered before her teasing facade slipped away to be replaced with a more somber expression as she spoke again. "I couldn't sleep."

Michael nodded, understanding, and moved over slightly in the small hospital bed, making room for Stella next to him. After a moment's hesitation, Stella kicked off her shoes and climbed in next to Michael, settling into his uninjured side. His free arm lay around her shoulders while his other arm was attached to a multitude of machines. Stella immediately felt herself relaxing, the sleep that had evaded her earlier that night rolling over her like a wave. She was just about to drift off when she heard Michael speak again.

"Stel." His voice was small and meek, a side only she was allowed to see. It reflected his fear. "I nearly died today."

There was no point in denying it. He _had _nearly died, he _should_ have died, yet somehow he lived on. Stella's response was to wrap her arm around Michael's chest, pulling him closer to her, as if that action alone could stop him from being taken from her. If she held on tight enough, then he couldn't die.

"Don't," she protested, her voice coming out as more a whisper than a word, a soft plea. But Michael wasn't going to stop this time. He had waited long enough to say this, and Stella had waited long enough to hear it, even if she wasn't exactly sure what she was waiting for. If there was one thing that this experience had taught Michael, it was that life is uncertain and he has to make the most of the opportunities he is given. And he was determined to do just this. He wasn't going to waste another day by not telling Stella how he felt.

"Stella," he began seriously, gazing down at her. "Do you remember what I said to you last year after I went chasing down those guys who stole the armoured vehicle?" It appeared that he was going to neglect to mention the part where he was held hostage and had nearly gotten himself killed, but he would do that. He preferred to speak of his victories rather than his failures. After he received no response from Stella, he continued on.

"I told you I want you to be with me," he clarified. Stella remained silent, thinking back to that day.

_ Stella walked over to Michael, feeling as though there was something that needed to be said between them. Yet they both remained silent. She turned to walk away, confused once again, only to be stopped as Michael called for her. _

_ "Stel." _

_ Stella turned around at the sound of Michael's voice. He was standing there looking to her, yet she didn't have any answers for him. He was the one who had to give her some. She would wait for him to make the first move, although he might need some encouragement. _

_ "What, Michael?" She was straight to the point. This was neither the time nor the place for their games. _

_ "I want you to be with me," he spoke after a moment's hesitation. He was serious, so serious. Stella couldn't stop herself from shying away from it. _

_ "It's all I want. I can't help it," he continued .There was nothing more to it. It was something that he couldn't control; he couldn't just stop it or turn it off. It overpowered him and left him vulnerable._

_ "Michael," she began, only to be cut off by Michael as he tried to justify himself. _

_ "Well, I can't." There was something in his eyes which told Stella not to doubt his sincerity, he was putting himself out there, yet she couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear. Instead all she could offer was a weak apology._

_ "Well I'm sorry," was all she could respond with. _

_ Unable to take the look of complete and utter dejection on his face – the one that spelled one thing: heartbreak – Stella turned to walk away, hastily wiping at her eyes as she did so. She wasn't sure if it was just from the upset of nearly losing Michael that day, but she felt like something inside her was breaking, and with every step she took the pain seemed to intensify, telling her that she was going in the wrong direction. Yet she continued to walk away, leaving Michael to tend his wounded pride and his broken heart. _

"You said that it was all you wanted, that you couldn't help it," she added softly.

"It's still all I want," Michael replied truthfully. "Every day, all I want is you." Stella turned her head to glance at Michael, her eyes locking with his before he continued.

"Stella, I love you."

Stella turned away, unable to take the intensity of his gaze. She had no reason to doubt his words, the truth was there in his eyes, laid out bare for her to see, and that was what scared her the most. This was real. This was new. Yet there was something that was holding her there, stopping her from running as she so often did when things got serious with Michael.

The room was silent aside from the rhythmical beeping of the machines. Michael waited with bated breath, hoping that he hadn't just ruined their friendship beyond repair. But they would get through this, they always did. Michael just hoped that they could get this and come out stronger, united, together.

Stella knew that she should say something, he was waiting for her response, but all she could find to give him were two measly words.

"I know."

Did she know? Not up until now, not really. She supposed that there was a part of her, deep down, that had always known it, but had she known it on the surface? Yes. No. She had always known that he felt something for her, but she had always brushed off these thoughts, telling herself that Michael's feelings would change. Yet they never changed, at least not in the way Stella told herself they would. They only grew.

Michael hesitated for a moment, unsure how to take her response. It wasn't exactly what he had hoped to hear. In the end, he just pulled her closer, holding her. She hadn't run from him, and for that he was grateful. Acceptance was the first step. Admittance of reciprocation would come later. Michael was prepared to wait to hear her say those words back to him. He knew the day would come, just like he had known that the day would come when he would say those words to her, and it had. Yet just because Stella hadn't returned his admission of love, it didn't mean that another victory couldn't be achieved that night.

"I mean what I said," Michael spoke, breaking the silence. "I do want you to be with me, and I can't help it. I've tried, but I can't. "

Silence fell upon them once more. Michael was unsure if Stella had even heard him. She was so silent and still that Michael wasn't sure if she was even awake. But then she spoke, her voice so soft and small that at first Michael had thought he was imagining it.

"But I am with you."

A smile spread onto Michael's face at her words. As quiet as she was, he had heard her. He gently pressed his lips to her head, the kiss in itself a token of gratitude, a gesture that he understood that she couldn't say she loved him back yet, but that he was accepting whatever part of herself she would give him, however much of herself she would give him. He knew that in time he would win over the piece that mattered, her heart. Unbeknownst to him, and Stella too, he already had.

With this victory to claim as his own, Michael let his weary eyes close, holding Stella close and smiling to himself as he drifted off to sleep. This time, the nightmares didn't return. Instead they were replaced with pleasant dreams, many of which featured Stella and some which even featured their baby. Michael was at peace. He was happy.

* * *

The next morning, Michael awoke to find Stella still asleep in his arms. He smiled, which soon turned to a grimace of pain as he was reminded of the spear he had taken to his gut the previous day. He laid his head back against the pillow, his eyes shutting as he tried to fight back the pain, stifling back a gasp yet failing to stop the groan that followed.

He felt Stella stirring next to him, probably waking in response to the way his entire body seemed to tense at the pain. She took a moment to adjust to her surroundings. Once she remembered where she was, her gaze travelled up Michael's body until she met his eyes.

"Morning," she murmured sleepily as she pulled herself into a sitting position.

Michael was about to reply, but the only response he could form was another groan. Concern instantly clouded Stella's face, but it began to wane as a nurse entered the room with pain medication for Michael. It was the same nurse that Stella had seen the previous night.

Stella awkwardly moved in the bed, wondering if the chair next to it would be a more appropriate place to be. She supposed that barging in in the middle of the night and sharing a patient's bed was not high on the list of things that visitors should be doing. But the knowing smile that the nurse gave her put her at ease and convinced her to stay, that combined with the fact that the muscles in Michael's hand had contracted around her arm in pain. She gently placed her hand on Michael's, loosening his grip as it was starting to hurt her. Michael shot her and apologetic look when he realised what he was doing, but Stella could still see from his tense expression that he was in pain.

Silently, the nurse exited the room, leaving Michael and Stella to their own devices. Stella could see the pain leaving Michael's eyes as the meds began to kick in and felt Michael relax next to her as relief came to him.

The pair lay there for some undetermined amount of time – as always, Stella seemed to lose track of time when she was in his arms. They spent the time just enjoying each other's company. For once, nothing needed to be said between them, even though Stella was yet to return Michael's words. Michael's confession of love had given her a lot to think about. She had no doubt in her mind that it was true, the only doubts she had were about her feelings in return. They still remained an ever changing, complicated mess to her. But they were okay for now. Michael was prepared to give Stella the time she needed to figure them out. He knew they existed in some form or shape, but Stella just had to figure out what they meant. At least she knew the truth about how he felt now. Michael felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His admission had brought with it a breath of fresh air and a feeling of pride. He had finally done it.

When breakfast came, Stella stole a piece of toast from Michael's tray. It was the only thing there that looked half edible. She made a mental note to pick up some decent food for Michael, even though he seemed to be stomaching the processed mush they labelled as food quite fine. As Stella munched on her toast, she remembered the last time she had stolen Michael's breakfast. She thought back to the way Michael had chased her through the house, the way he had held her as he tried in vain to retrieve his breakfast. Had they been together then? No, not really. Were they together now? Yes, Stella's gut was telling her yes. She knew that Michael had not missed the meaning behind her last words the previous night. This, combined with Michael's confession, was the most that had ever been said about their relationship. If she had to put a label on it, she would say that they were together now. This was what it was like when they were together before, yet there was something more. Michael's confession had changed things between them. Stella just hoped that he had changed things for the better. She needed him now more than ever.

As they lay there peacefully, breakfast dishes discarded to the side, Stella glanced at the clock. Much to her disappointment, she realised that she had to go. Prior engagements that could not be put off called her. As much as she didn't want to leave Michael's side, she knew she had to. Michael noticed her moving to get up and leave and gave her a look that resembled that of a wounded puppy dog, his eyes pleading with her to stay.

"Where are you going?" he asked, wondering if he could convince her to stay.

"I've got an ultrasound," she replied. This seemed to get Michael's attention.

"I want to come," he announced. If it was something to do with the baby, then he wanted to be there. He was not going to make the same mistake twice. He would be there this time.

"Michael, you can't, you can barely sit up let alone make it to the appointment," Stella reasoned. She knew that Michael wanted to be there, she wanted him there too, but it just wasn't going to happen that day.

Michael tried to sit up to prove her wrong only to slump back down moments later in defeat. He wasn't going to make it to the appointment that day. He just had to accept it.

"Are you going to find out the sex of the baby this time?" he asked, almost sounding worried. He really wanted to know, but at the same time he wanted to be there when Stella found out. It was his child too, and he felt that he should get to find out when she did. It was something that they should find out together.

Stella could almost sense his thoughts on the matter; she could tell that he wanted to be there to find out. Sometimes he was so easy to read, yet other times he was a complete mystery to her.

"No," Stella replied, shaking her head. "You should be there when I find out. We'll find out together next time."

This seemed to satisfy Michael. He nodded, smiling with relief. If he couldn't be there today, then this was the best he could hope for.

"You have to come back right away and tell me about it," Michael said. "I want to know everything."

Stella nodded, promising that she would do that. She could do this much for him. Michael was finally looking to take an active role in the baby's life. Stella stood up to leave, only to be stopped by Michael. There was one last thing that he wanted before she left.

"Stel, kiss me," he requested. Stella leaned over the bed, gently pressing her lips to his for a moment before pulling away. That would be enough to keep him alive and fighting until she got back.

* * *

The time passed slowly for Michael. It was a mix of sleep and consciousness, pain and relief. The nurses came by every so often to check on him and bring him medication and he had a brief visit from his parents, but aside from that he was alone. Michael used his solitude to think about Stella. He was so glad that she hadn't run from him. They were alive, safe and together.

A few hours later, Stella returned from her appointment laden with food, yet it wasn't the food that caught Michael's attention, it was the large looking official-looking envelope that Stella carried under her arm.

"What's that?" Michael enquired upon noticing it.

Stella placed the food down on the table before opening the envelope and showing Michael what was inside. She resumed her spot next to Michael in bed as she pulled the photographs from the envelope. They were pictures from the ultrasound. Stella decided that if Michael couldn't make it to the scan, then she would bring as much of it back with her as she could. It was obvious that he had wanted to be there this time and he would have if he was not confined to bed.

"So everything went okay?" Michael asked, anxious to know how it went.

"Yep, everything's all good," Stella responded. "Eighteen weeks to go."

The two sat in silence as Stella's words sunk in. It wasn't long now. Michael wrapped his arm around Stella, pulling her in close as she laid her head on his shoulder, taking comfort in his presence and support.

"Wow, that's our baby," Michael said in amazement as he looked at the pictures.

Stella nodded, feeling as though she couldn't speak. It was their baby, but it wasn't. She knew she should tell him. She wondered if she should confess what she had done, but she couldn't, not when things were finally going so well for them. She couldn't jeopardise this. For the first time in weeks, Stella felt guilt fill her stomach.

"I'd better go," she announced. "I've got to work this afternoon."

Michael glanced up from the photos for the first time, giving Stella a forlorn look that just screamed 'don't leave me'. But she had to go. Michael knew it.

"I'll leave these here," she continued, gesturing towards the photos. This seemed to cheer Michael up, yet Stella couldn't shake the feeling that she was just being cruel by giving Michael this hope.

Stella leaned over to kiss Michael, her hand sliding down to gently cup his cheek. He didn't ask her this time, he didn't need to. Yet, all too soon, she pulled away.

"I'll be back tonight," she promised, watching as Michael nodded in reply, adoration shining in his eyes.

With that, she left the room, leaving Michael alone with the pictures and his false hope.


End file.
